Jaci Stephen likes to fly Virgin Atlantic. When she does, it is only seat in 8A. If she can’t sit in seat 8A, she’s not going. And if you want her seat, forget about it. She flies other airlines too…and unless you are a celebrity, don’t even think about asking her to move seats.
No, I Don’t Move Airline Seats So Don’t Even Bother To Ask Me…
I had to laugh that less than an hour after my story yesterday on changing seats, the UK Daily Mail (world’s best tabloid…) published a story on this very topic…from the perspective of Ms. Jaci Stephen, a columnist.
As she explains,
“I travel a lot. I have very specific seats I always choose (ask Virgin Atlantic; if I can’t get 8A, I’ll change planes). I like an aisle seat when traveling domestically because I need to use the rest room a lot. I like to be at the front because I don’t like crowds and invariably need to disembark quickly. I spend weeks, sometimes months, making sure I have my favorite seat.”
Recently she was asked to switch seats on a flight so a couple sit next to each other. She refused, prompting an angry reaction from the girlfriend (the boyfriend, she shares, appeared relieved).
Another time she was on an American Airlines Boeing 787, which has both forward- and rear-facing seats in business class. Someone asked her to swap a forward facing seat for a rear seat so they could be next to their young children.
Nope. Sorry. She wanted to face forward, explaining, “I want to be at the front, facing the same direction as the pilot, because if we are going to be put in the unfortunate position of having to run, I know who I want to follow at the front of the pack.”
The father didn’t react well:
“He was furious and started shouting at me, wishing me ill for the future if this were ever to happen to me, and then stormed off to the other side of the plane to try to persuade others to move.”
The only time she did move was for a celebrity, and only because she was begged by an airline staff member.
She sums up her advice in this fashion:
“Here’s the simple fact: if you want to travel as a family or in a group, book your seats together beforehand. Your incompetency in failing to do so is no one else’s responsibility and you should certainly not be making others feel uncomfortable when they want to stick to their probably well organized plans.”
Totally reasonable. Well, almost. The way I look the matter is I am opening to switching to an equal or better seat, as long as I am asked nicely. I do understand why couples or families wish to be near each other and why it is not always their fault…not everyone has the luxury of booking months in advance. In economy class, where advance seat assignments are often restricted, this becomes even more difficult.
In all cases, I hesitate booking bulkhead seats for precisely the issue that arose yesterday, namely that you can theoretically be displaced at anytime for a parent traveling with an infant, since bassinets can only be secured in bulkhead seats.
If you make a demand, the answer is no. I don’t deal well with hissy fits and I do choose window seats for a reason…I want control of lighting when I take photos.
CONCLUSION
I think Stephen mostly gets it right. She’s certainly entitled to refuse to switch seats in the circumstances she discussed. I still find the best approach is to ask really nicely and don’t be the idiot who asks someone to move from an aisle seat or window seat to a middle seat so you can sit next to a loved one. You be the one who gives up the superior seat for the inferior one, if you want to move.
Tomorrow, we’ll look at one other element of getting people change seats…shaming.
My pet peeves are two fold:
1. Don’t take my seat with your partner and when I board tell me that you switched and “I can take their seat.” Take your assigned seat and ask me before switching, because I won’t always agree to it so don’t assume. My favorite example being on a LATAM 777 with the old J config and a couple took my window seat, we’re all settled in, and when I boarded pointed me to a middle seat, lol. Ummm, no.
2. The seat must be identical. Window for window as an example OR better than what I have. If it’s an hour flight ok, whatever. But if it’s a 14 hour flight you can bet I am not going to agree to an aisle seat, especially in a 1-2-1 config. Don’t even ask me and put me in that position. Especially in a 1-2-1 config where if you want my window so as to be closer to your partner you are still not sitting together.
I think I’m reasonable in this. This woman though takes it to another obsessive level. A bit much.
Good take Stuart, I’ve had the same happen to me and at that point it becomes a principle thing when you just assume you can take my seat. I try not to be a dick (on planes) but come on, how about asking.
And I agree with the writer on the forward/ backwards issue on 777’s, I too have a thing about wanting to be in the front facing seats.
@Dave. I can go along with that. While not a deal breaker to fly I much prefer a forward facing seat (i.e. Etihad J) and would only change with someone if there was really a critical need…( a child needing to be close to parents, etc).
I move for no one unless their famous! Way to go lady with standards. To hell with family but if it’s Joey from Friends I’ll move. Next flight should be to the rope & rickety stools store.
I agree with both of you on not sitting in the seat with the assumption that the rightful occupant will trade with you.
It’s very annoying to find that someone has done that, and too often it’s presented with the “possession is 9/10ths of the law” type attitude– a confrontational “do you really want to take this from me” type attitude.
I will point out that one can be put in difficult situations with this, and I try to handle it with decency. The only times I have ever requested a seat trade has been when flying with very young children in situations where our flight has been involuntarily re-booked (airline cancelled flight, hurricane, etc…) and we have been separated.
What I have done on a few occasions when caught in this situation is stand at the desired seat and ask kindly when the assigned person arrives. The standing serves to signal that I recognize the seat as not mine, and am ready to move out of the way if needed.
Where to stand is a bit of a problem: you can’t stand in the aisle while other folks board. Depending on the circumstance, standing in your assigned seat may put you quite a long way from your 2 year old child, and unable to communicate efficiently with the occupant of the desired seat. Imagine your 2 year old is in seat 27A, but you have been assigned 20B– being 7 rows away while the aisle is full of folks boarding and putting luggage up is a problem. Standing at a seat that is neither yours nor the one you desire to trade for inconveniences yet another person. Lastly, if possible, I’d like to make the request before someone has stored their bags in overhead bins and gotten settled in.
Agree with most of your comments but if she likes 8A and is sitting there, leave her alone. I find amazing that even on short flights some people “need” to sit together. Really? To then put a headphone and watch a movie or listen to music and not even pay attention to the person next to him/her?
I once was in International business class on AA and there was a woman sitting across the aisle. Once doors closed a guy came from first class and asked the guy sitting next to her if he would take his seat in first so he could seat next to his girlfriend in business. The guy smiled and promptly moved to first although we all know that AA first and business are the same. LOL!!
On an International flight, First class is 1-1. Business is a 2-2. Thar guy def got an upgrade. The boyfriend got the First ticket so that he and his GF could use the Flagship Dining option.
You refuse to sit on an aisle seat in a 1-2-1 configuration, huh?
@Captain Obvious, Aisle in this case being the center and was clearly stated as such in not being a window. I hope that helps make your reading of my comment more pleasurable and less stressful for you.
I’d give up or not give up any seat on an airline to avoid sitting by you, assuming your personality is consistent with the way you’ve communicated here.
No reason to be a jerk in your response. 1-2-1 sounds like every seat is an aisle,
Even though I do agree with you, in a 1-2-1 arrangement every seat IS on an aisle. It is not possible to have a 1-2-1 in a single-aisle aircraft.
Wow, y’all are a bit much, lol. I think you know exactly what I am saying. If not, here’s some help to calm the those with comprehension problems…On a 1-2-1, yes, all are aisles, but only the windows are actually WINDOWS and single seating and THUS more private. If you need me to bring out a power point and explain this more deeply please do let me know. I am happy to guide you with crayons as well. Otherwise, consider enrolling in Airline 101 to gain better insight.
I agree. An equivalent or better seat and asked politely are my considerations, along with my connection time.
Also, I sometimes pay extra for seat selections or buy a higher costing tickets to get the selections, yet I haven’t once been offered reimbursement.
One of my pet peeves – the hostility when the answer is ‘No’. In life, sometimes the answer is ‘No.’ For my specifically selected and paid for seats, don’t bring that ire to me for your poor planning. And, if it’s a reassignment from another booking, let the airlines (gate agents) handle the requests AND recompense. Having the flight attendants do the dirty work to add social pressure without authority to recompense or provide an equivalent seat or seat upgrade is troublesome, due to their authority on the plane.
So inconsiderate and rude to not allow families sit together. I hope you never get your own family!!!
If your young child is literally going to die or has some sort of serious relevant health issue (such as panic attacks) that necessitates you sitting beside them on the plane, then I understand. But in most cases, I simply don’t think it’s necessary. Also, I don’t think it’s necessary to have both parents sitting with their kids. When it comes to flying, some families are entitled to the point of being completely unreasonable. I’m not interested in bending over backwards for people like that.
Agreed; in most cases it is not a life or death situation.
Yes, as long as one parent sits near the kids (or grandparents) that should be plenty. On at least 15 occasions (yes, I traveled a lot) we have seen grandparents with the parents and they all disrupt the boarding process to make multiple groups move. Really? If you need to be together that much, rent a bus and driver and leave the rest of us to ourselves.
I imagine some of these responses are from people who don’t travel or are defending their antics they have done to others. Some folks have fought for designated areas for kids and parents who take the pains to ensure they are respectful of others don’t want this because they see the crap many parents pull.
Again, society has gone down the path of entitlement and this covers flying and getting a good price. There is a problem when the price of flying to FL is the same as 20 years ago when the cost of everything has gone up. So we wonder why we have folks playing games and the airline response is to charge for bags, seats, paper tickets, etc.? Don’t wonder why, we have driven us to this place that if you can’t afford to do it, don’t pass the cost to the rest of us. Making me give up my paid seat is part of this. If you want the seat, you should have to pay me a premium for it. Maybe we should start hawking seats.
What’s inconsiderate and rude is traveling with loud, often annoying children when it’s really not necessary, and by not necessary I mean unless there is a family member on their death bed, drive. If you can’t drive there, and it’s just a pleasure trip, your a selfish jerk for making everyone else’s trip miserable.
Dude… Seriously? They paid a full price ticket just like you. If parents are doing everything they can to keep their child quiet then that’s just the roll of the dice. If you don’t want to risk noisy kids on your flight, drive. See how that works? You’re no more entitled to that flight than they are.
Sure, if the parents are actually doing anything to control their children – there’s a certain amount of noise to be expected on what is essentially a flying public transit bus. And yeah, baby’s are going to cry a bit in the unfamiliar space – not much you can do about that.
But more often than not, in my experience, the parents are either on the other end of the plane, or just put on some headphones and check out, letting everyone else deal with their little demons. If you’re defending children on planes, you’ve clearly never had to deal with them screaming, dumping beverages on you, and kicking the back of your seat for the entirety of an 11 hour flight.
So, I’m going with you don’t actually have a family. You just don’t get to decide who flys or who drives. That’s RIDICULOUS. You think unless it’s an emergency they should drive. How about they might be on a vacation where they only have a certain amount of time off & would rather spend it at their destination than driving simply so you don’t have to experience LIFE. Life is often imperfect or uncomfortable. I believe most parents are already stressed about irritating or inconveniencing other passengers and genuinely do their best to manage their children. Unfortunately kids are…kids & h have kid rationale and logic. They also have boundless energy and it is a challenge to “reason” with them that they must sit still and quiet for hours in a small area b/c other people are full of themselves and lacking compassion & understanding for other humans. I’ve seen many adults woo don’t know how to behave on a plane but you think a 2 year old should. You are silly & entitled.
She didn’t write the article, you clearly very clever and level-headed individual.
If you book as a family, book your seats together ahead of time and don’t depend on some other passenger to happily switch seats so your family can sit together. You are not entitled to anything but the seats you bought. You are flat wrong so quit whining and shut up.
This 1000% book your seats together ! Your family configuration isn’t my responsibility.
They should’ve booked earlier as a family. You can’t get mad because they booked early and chose the seat they wanted. They paid their money fairly like the other family. Perhaps the family should’ve booked another time of day, another day or a different flight in order to get the arrangements they want. Wishing bad on someone isn’t good. Honey get somewhere and mind your own business. Yes, family should sit together. Early booking can avoid you and your family sitting separately.
We did just that when we booked our flight to Hawaii for me, my husband and our then 3 year old daughter who has food allergies. We booked early and paid extra for seats together with extra legroom. Then AA decided to change planes. We go to check in the night before to find that we were reassigned different seats in three different rows! Apparently, whenever they decide to switch planes, the computer generates the seat assignments. Of course, no one is responsible for making sure there are no glitches. I was told by both the customer service rep and her supervisor that we are only guaranteed a seat, not a specific seat! Ummmm….my daughter’s 3! Their solution? Try and ask someone on the flight to move! I told them that was not my responsibility when I booked three seats together. They didn’t care.
The next morning at the gate, with my 3 yo daughter in tow, we were told the same thing….we are only guaranteed a seat, not a specific seat! Luckily, the fourth AA employee we spoke with was actually willing to help us. She had noticed the error when she checked the log that morning and made the switch so we were all seated together.
I get it that no one should be forced to move, especially for someone else’s lack of planning. I just wanted to point out that sometimes it’s not the customer’s fault, it’s the airline.
Buy your tickets together when you make reservations, but don’t be an entitled little Karen thinking your family sitting together is more important.
Also PLAN IN ADVANVE. Your problem is not mine!
That’s the bottom line.
Who is the entitled individual? Point the finger really slowly
Often times families are not together because they refused to pay the extra price to reserve seats. Don’t ask me (I almost always pay extra for a good seat) to give up mine unless it’s equivalent or better in my view. If it’s not worth it for you to pay extra to sit together don’t expect it to be worth it to me to be inconvenienced.
Ask me nicely and I may do it all things being equal, and remember I am under no obligation to do so. If the ground staff won’t do it and they have the power, then expecting the river to part for you may not be a realistic expectation nor should you expect it. If sitting together is absolutely necessary, there are ways to do so that may cost you extra time or $$$.
Maga??,? Another entitled, crazy conspiracy nut job
Your ignorant liberal snowflakes are showing… It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that comment and username was meant to troll geniuses like you. I guess you should have studied social awareness and common sense instead of gender studies and sociology… Just Food for thought
Ugly person having to bring their ugliness to an airline form . And be anonymous. One thing we know, these people who must call others names can’t show themselves because even they know they are just angry at the world and must tear people down.
hi I’m a mom and due to inclement weather we missed a connecting flight and were fiitted into another plane in separate seats…never considered bothering anyone. smiled and waved at my kids. it was an adventure for them. No one died being separate… I have offered to move seats once no one has asked me. I think it is rude to ask unless situation is dire a very ill senior but then why are they flying?
Rude? Since when does being a family trump everyone else’s rights to wear they paid for? Talk about rude, as if having children makes you supremely more important than anyone else. It seems your children may be learning the world revolves around them. It doesn’t and you are simply setting them up for the massive disappointment when they find out they’re no more important than any random other person.
Folks, just look at the person user name and you’ll know not to bother.
Sad. Typical priviledged attitude that YOUR child and responsibility should suddenly become MY issue.
Pay more and get the seats you want. Since when did children become a handicap that warrants special benefits?
Is it not inconsiderate for a family to pay a little more to ensure that they get the seats they want/need?
Does having children automatically grant parents the right to expect anyone else to adjust because they didn’t make the proper arrangements?
I have a family. I’ve traveled with my children when they were as young as infants. PLAN AHEAD! Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on MY part!
Thank you. I agree. They are a royal pain to avoided at all costs.
I have my own family and I would never expect anyone to move due to my lack of planning. But once again I would never buy cheap tickets where we weren’t sitting together in hopes that I could inconvenience others to move who paid more to pre-select their seats. Also don’t ask me to move from my window seat so your child can sit there, there was a reason your child doesn’t have it, because it’s taken and if I didn’t want to sit there I wouldn’t have chosen it. Also don’t sit in my seat assuming you can have it and act put out because I ask you to move. These people are the Karen’s of flying, so entitled.
They should plan their trips well in advance and pay for their desired seat assignments. They should not assume that the other passengers would just willingly switch seats with them.
I agree. I have 3 children and I always make sure to book us together. I buy tickets months in advance and anyways because of work, I can’t book last minute. But, I would never expect someone who booked a certain seat to give up their seat for me. For example, on the last flight I took with our children, I booked the second from the 1st row. It had more leg room too and I booked all 6 seats for me and my children. It did cost more $ too. To be honest, I was actually nervous about someone taking our seats and having to get them to move or having someone ask us to move for them.
If you book a certain seat, that’s the seat you get. If you have family, make sure to book together or don’t book at all. But don’t expect everyone around you to move or be accommodating because of your poor planning.
At least that’s my opinion. And like I said, I have 3 children. I’m so tired of parents going on rants about no parents not being accommodating to them all because they created a spawn of them. There are people who choose to never have children and that’s their life and they shouldn’t have to accommodate children that they didn’t give have to please the parents.
And I’m sorry about the typos!
Supposed to “tired of parents complaining about people with no children not accommodating..”
And “they should not have to accommodate people with children to please the parents.”
My 2 grandsons were booked on an United flight and they had seats together but the airline changed their seats. Older grandson tried to get gate agent to fix the problem but was told just ask someone to switch after boarding. He did that and no one would switch with either one of them. I blame the gate agent as they should have corrected their problem and not expect the passengers to correct their mistake.
Unless the child is small and your flight was canceled or changed. You can’t separate a small child from the parent but it sounds like some people are being cheap and want to manipulate people into feeling sorry for them
In the future, please have someone proofread your articles before you post them. This is riddled with cringeworthy errors.
Oh, and I suppose you are perfect? Check your backyard for weeds before you point out the weeds in other backyards.
I often fly now and my spouse and I get window and asile seats. When we get asked to move we point out we paid for these seats. If you want me to move it is going to cost you ,$100 cash right now. To date no takers.
I love it and will try that! Thank you for the best idea ever!
I’m Autistic. Changing seats could be very stressful for me. Flying is already stressful and overwhelm is always there. If I’m in an aisle seat at a window seat I want to stay there. Middle seats cause me to deal with touching people on both sides of me. I’m already really uncomfortable with one person touching me. I won’t complain about it but I’m not giving up my seat with more airspace. Remember my senses are all in hyperdrive. I’m considering wearing in autism tag so people might be easier on my fixed rigid nature when I fly. I make sure to pick my seat in advance.
All of g that said if your kid is sitting next to me and your not then I will trade to get away from your kid. If your a couple. Deal with it. Unless I decide to be nice. I have changed for two friends who screwed up their tickets and I was going to be sitting between them. I didn’t get to pick my seat on that flight as it was kind of last minute. In my mind I saw them l leaning over me to talk. Also I ended up with the aisle seat.
If I say no though, don’t try to guilt me into changing I will double down, and if you push it I will ask for security probably start to cry quietly. I’m at the point of starting to buy two seats side by side to insure no one touches me.
Just because you SAY you are autistic does not mean you can do what you want. If you are so stressed o ut in flying DON’T FLY! YOUR problems are not MY problems!
I agree with you 100%. Or I would suggest they try switching seats with where the other person is sitting. My biggest peeve which happens more often is sitting next to big people whose arm and thigh “spill” over into my seat. The worst was sitting next to a person so wide, the arm of the chair could not be lowered but these types of stories are for another day …
Southwest does not allow people to buy only one seat if both armrests cannot be lowered. Although some muscular men have trouble fitting into airline seats as all airlines have made all seats smaller to maximize profits. It’s a gnarly question.
So this actually just happened to me yesterday. However, in my case the other customer did not ask us to move, the FA did. It was not framed as a request either. I had paid extra for a window and was going to “get” a middle seat. Mom and dad had bought Basic Economy and apparently missed all the information about how they would be assigned seats and they MAY not be together. Not my problem, until all the surrounding folks decided that this family were entitled to be together no matter who was affected. It was wrong on so many levels. I moved. Neither dad nor kids (8 or 9) ever acknowledged or said thanks. The entitlement was unbelievable, as was the attitude of airline personnel. Currently waiting for a response from the airline about being decompensated for the fee I paid for my seat.
That’s horrible. What airline?
NEVER should have happened. This is wrong. Those budget tickets ARE VERY CLEAR. You MUST accept the terms on the website. Do not WHINE.
Ask for a supervisor or gate agent to be brought in to explain why your seat is being changed. Be given the exact reason and have in pointed out in their carriage rules.
I have three invisible disabilities and they won’t accomodate me! Why does a couple or children trump TRUE need?
I would have said I have invisible disabilities and point out they were harassing me by making me declare it.
I would have been forceably removed, documented with video, sued, and raked the Airline over the coals in Social Media.
I ALWAYS “request” my seats way ahead of time(read:months). And “request” is about the best you can do. Come flight time, you are guaranteed nothing and, on occasion, I’ve gotten screwed out of my seat for different reasons like a computer glitch or the flight has changed equipment. I don’t get upset because things happen but if it’s a change in service from business to coach, then I get upset. Otherwise I’m ok. I travel with my husband of 53years and neither one of us would mind if we are in business class to change seats. But in coach, I want him as my seat mate. Sorry but no changees in that case.
Im confused. The article initially states the flyer prefers an aisle seat for frequent lavatory trips. Near the end of the article the flyer states a preference for a window seat. “Seat 8A” may mean window to most readers but the condradiction stated in the narrative makes that assumption rather questionable.
Just for perspective I am autistic and this article could have been about me as her rationale is 100% mine. Without planning meticulously in advance I can’t fly at all and I have no sympathy for those who fail due diligence and expect me to help. They certainly wouldn’t help me if I asked. I also don’t understand two people being so codependent they can’t sit apart for two hours. If you want me to move, you should expect to offer me compensation. Not everyone is an altruist. I pay for comfort because of my disabilities and you can pay me for yours if you want me to be unhappy during my flight.
My take is this; when you travel a lot, and you see everything imaginable under the sun, including the parents traveling with kids, too lazy, too cheap or everything else you hear them talk about (or see every week), then Jaci is not being unreasonable. I watched for 5 weeks in a row, the same parents and kids make people move for their seats and the same FA asked people to move. Clearly, they knew the game; they seats were not equal.
The best way to handle if you are separated on a flight is you chat up your seat mate (both of you) and eventually you get around to your separation. If they offer, that is one thing. If they don’t oh well.
Unless last minute travel bought the parents and kids to the flight without seats, a well-intentioned visit to the desk before the flight is the best way to handle. Of course, you could always drive to your destination, take the train, etc.
Today, too many people think their needs are more important than others, especially young parents but also adults. We purposely chose not to travel with our young kids, so as not to put others out. Today, no one seems to care about putting out their fellow man/woman.
Basics of air travel – plan ahead. If you can’t seat your family together, pay for the upgraded seats that can accommodate your family, take an alternate flight or accept that you’ll be apart for the duration of the flight. Don’t impose your issues on those that planned ahead and/or paid extra for the seat you want. The worst approach is to appropriate my seat without asking. No issues with politely asking but accept that the person may have a strong preference for that seat and may be unwilling to exchange seats. Getting angry because you didn’t get what you wanted rarely accomplishes anything. You’re not entitled to any seat except that which you were assigned to – regardless of family status. I have a child and have traveled extensively with her & my wife since she was 3mo old. Poor planning has predicable results. Consider it a “life lesson”.
I’m with Stephens…. there are absolutely no circumstances where you have to give up your assigned seat if you choose not to. Yes, its Ok for another passenger to ask nicely and its equally OK to refuse their request
I had the experience where my young daughter had broken the ball joint off her femur in Greece and I flew there to nurse her and get her home after the operation… The Dr finally consented for her to fly but I had to give her blood thinning injections at regular intervals… Being peak season we struggled to even score a couple of seats, but managed after a week or so, but alas, they were not together, so I asked the passenger beside me.. a lady if she would swap seats with my daughter who was in the row in front. She absolutely refused and I accepted her decision… the seat was hers, but she had to watch my daughter put her arm back through the seats, numerous times, whilst I injected her.
I’m sure she must of felt ashamed of herself.
Being a person who plans well ahead of time, even in a group situation, this includes booking seats for everyone together. I have been in the position of the airlines chamging flights and putting some of my group in other isles, not even close to each other. We all had the same booking number, but the computer simply put us where it figured we should be. I am sorry, a 3 year old should not be put by themselves, away from the parent, not even a 12 year old, which happened to us on a recent trip earlier this month. Yes, I called the airlines quickly to correct this issue, but it took almost 2 hours on customer service to do so causing much stress to all involved. Many people don’t do as I do, they just figure they will save themselves the stress, hoping that maybe someone will be understanding. Yes, I get have your seats booked together, there are changes that happen beyond your control. I undersrand having a specific seat, I myself, have to sit in the isle seat, but in no way should someone be expected to move, or be yelled at for not doing so. All should be understanding. It doesn’t hurt to take a little stress to call the airline for help, or consider the situation on seating was out of their control.
I agree. I used to give up or trade seats in the 1970s and often would get rewarded with an upgrade or even a champagne bottle once from the attendants. But lately it’s a scam by entitled couples or families. They sign up last minute or get wait listed seats that are cheaper. Then they try to get those of us who pay full fares to move. I want my economy plus, business, or extra leg room. The latest was a wait listed last monutevromantic couple who had the attendant ask if I would move. I simply said “No, I am happy here. I paid extra for this seat. Thank you but no.” The man could have moved into her cramped seat but no, he wanted his legroom without paying more for it, and me to gift it to him. He was snotty the whole trans-Atlantic trip but I made friends with the Africans on my other side and had a wonderful time with them. I am older, I buy and prefer leg room or aisle seats.
The boyfriend she shares! that was hilarious
The proper word is not “refuse”, it’s decline. She declined the offer to give up her seat. People who write for a living should choose their words more carefully
We were “asked” by the boarding agent (AerLingus) to give up the seats we prepaid for to a couple traveling with two middle-aged children. Being pressured to do so, we ended up with middle and aisle seats that did not recline. If you need to sit together, pay for assigned seats just as we did so we could sit together. Don’t expect other passengers to accommodate you.
I’ve been flying for 40 years and I too like an aisle seat, in front and forward facing. I think each case is different if I am requested to swap seats. First, I’ll assess the needs of the family like their age. Also important is where is the seat in exchange. Next of course is how they ask me – whether it’s more a request than a demand. But what I can’t stand is someone who comes late, can’t find space for his bag and starts rearranging my bag in the overhead compartment.
I totally agree with her “incompetency” statement. I have switched seats a few times when provided with a good reason but not just simply because of someone elses poor planning and/or feeling of entitlement. I sometimes pick certain seats 11 months out so don’t feel bad if I say no.
Thanks for the reminder about the bulkhead row and the inevitable infant bassinet.
It’s all situation dependent. As a father traveling with a child, there have been time where we’ve been re-booked on a flight that has no seats together, with gate agents or FAs not willing to ask the pax to switch seats, so I’ve had to take it upon myself. At a minimum, I at least want my child to be a row in front of me in case there’s any issues…that part to me is non-negotiable. But, as far as sitting together, if the answer is no from pax switching, then so be it…
Do you understand what the word “non-negotiable” means? If so, then if you cannot get seats together you should not take the flight. Just tell the airline you choose not to fly.
No need to patronize, James
I’m with James, take a different flight… better still, leave the kid at home.
“At a minimum, I at least want my child to be a row in front of me in case there’s any issue”.
I want your child directly behind you if he is kicking the seat in front of him. Lol
I was asked by a couple to switch my first class aisle seat for a middle seat in coach so they could sit together. I refused. My grumpy seat mate sat stunned for the entire flight. Hard to imagine why they thought it was a reasonable request.
On other occasions I have swapped seats with military personnel in uniform. A small way to offer my respect for what they do.
That is hilarious – how unreasonable. That’s why you suggest they ask the person in the middle seat in coach to switch the first class passenger…so they can sit next to each other.
I authored a Reddit comment a few weeks ago (maybe 5 or 6) to this same effect. In my sitch, a mom with a tour group wanted me to swap my window bulkhead for her middle seat one row back on a TPAC flight so she could sit next to her toddler. She asked nobody else on the plane and I declined because I liked that seat. She the proceeded to make a nuisance or herself for the whole flight as some sort of punishment. My Reddit comment was then picked up and essentially plagiarized for a “story” by some lazy British journalist at The Mirror, then that story was copied by some even lazier Peruvian newspaper. Bottom line from the various comments on Reddit and The Mirror being that people everywhere are getting fed up with cheapskates not wanting to pay for assigned seats then becoming completely unhinged when smarter/better people who paid/thought ahead don’t want to switch. The entitlement of these dipshits is awe-inspiring. So now I don’t switch for anybody. Full stop. Regardless of your reasons.
That’s getting to be my stance too simply because of the way I’m asked or more likely told and example of which is ‘you need to change seats with me’, no I don’t. I pick from what’s available when booking and sit in it, I don’t always get what I want because it’s not available when I book so I choose my preference from what’s left.
Everyone can book a seat, sometimes it is for a fee but please don’t make your meanness my problem.
Not my type of coffee. You won’t die if you can sometimes accomodate others requests especially if it is seldom.
I have travelled a lot and yes I always try to get my fav seat but if someone is honestly and kindly asking for a favour, why not. It feels great to make someone happy from time to time instead of pissing others oftenly just for the joy of it.
Yes, that’s fine, but people also need to learn the meaning of the word “No”, as well.
On Team Jaci. The presumption that someone should change something they proactively choose to fit the challenges of modern air travel is just silly. You can ask. If traveling by myself, I may agree. If I don’t, end discussion. If a member of the crew asks I’m much more inclined to agree. Don’t bother shaming. I do not know you. Or likely any of the other people on the plane. Beyond a generalized concern for your safety, I truly do not care about you or anything you think or say. So ask a member of the crew before going off with your parental/spousal privilege. If you are a teenager that wants to sit with your friend, don’t bother. Answer is ‘no’.
To me, sitting with a friend or sitting with a spouse is the exact same. Why should I treat the two differently?
I like the entitlement some people have, as if the seat is somehow their property. A crew member can ask you to move, and the question part is more being (as they should be) a courtesy. They can also tell you to move. Seats are not fixed, nor ever guaranteed.
Ok, Julian. Let me see you tell me to move from my Intl J window seat to a center aisle…because you can. Good luck.
Ok, you can remain in your seat, you are far too tough to be moved.
Short hop, yes. Intercontinental never. I once has a group of 19 Bavarians push past me to demand they sit together (at check-in). When my turn came, the Lufthansa clerk said with mischief thar I had to have a middle seat –in Business Class. That’s what should happen.
If I bought an specific seat, I’m flying on that seat. This woman is my hero, I never did, and never will, give up my seat.
I read a brilliant comment about this in the UK press yesterday, a guy who was a *AG on a *A flight in business was ordered to move by a BA gold who had been rebooked from a cancelled BA flight and was in the back row of economy but he was told the BA G always sat in business and he should move. BA G got nasty both with passenger and the purser and was off loaded!
All your abbreviations made this impossible for me to follow…
Ditto.
Hmm. Generally I don’t pick super special seats (bulkhead, exit row etc). So I have moved for some families, so generally no big deal for me if it’s the same type (aisle/window) and the new seat does not have a window.
I have also been asked to switch from an aisle to a middle seat, which I obviously flat out refuse. Stop being Basic Economy poors if you really want to sit together.
I will switch 100% of the time if asked by a married orthodox Jewish man traveling solo if he is seated next to a woman. If someone can point out another religion that has a view on marriage and gender-based seating, I will also switch. Seems like a niche situation but has come up for me on two occasions. All the planning in the world cannot predict the gender of your seat mate. Religion above FA. I know which one I want on my side in a flight emergency.
@Miamiorbust.. couldn’t they just identify as a different gender for the duration of the flight? 😉
Religion is a reason that can be abused just as often as the family excuse. As a woman (both biologically and one who self-identifies as such), I’ve had Muslim men in Islamic-majority countries tell me that I need to move from my window or aisle seat so that they can sit next to their fiancée, wife, sister, etc. for religious reasons. That’s “tell,” not “ask” me to move. No thanks. I’m with everyone else who won’t move for ANY reason.
Good point.
I’m an original seat assignment rights advocate, although the “they should have planned ahead” argument is thin.
Flight delays, cancellations, rebooks due to uncontrollable airline or life situations can land groups in challenging seat situations.
Go ahead and stand firm on your seat assignment, but don’t assume the request is because someone else didn’t plan.
And I agree if someone takes the seat before asking, the bar for a switch goes higher.
Is she related to Mr. Pillows?
Color me curious-who was the celebrity?
It’s in the DM story…a member of the Michael Jackson family, it seems.
I had a member of the MJ family on one my red eyes. They were super nice, very gracious. They were a handful as their entourage took up half of first class and they stayed up the entire flight and drank, so it was quite a bit more work than a usual red eye, but we had fun. And they even left a tip (not that we are allowed to accept them, but she insisted I not embarrass her by making her beg to take her money) which I thought showed class. Amazingly, MJ had somehow raised incredibly well balanced, sweet, thoughtful children.
This conversation has really taken a dark turn! Who would have thought people would be so vitriolic about moving from their seat on airplane. Aren’t they all so uncomfortable unless you’re sitting in the first several rows?
No wonder there are so many fights on planes these days.
As a flight attendant, I will not get involved in swapping seats. Either the gate agent has to do that, or the passengers have to work it out. If I ask someone to move, they may assume I’m telling them to move. That’s not fair play. Don’t ask the flight attendants to work out your seating issues, unless you have a duplicate seat, are ineligible for a certain seat (exit row) etc.
Definitely don’t expect someone to give up a row or aisle for a middle seat, unless the flight is under an hour.
For those wondering how ticket prices can be as low as they were 20 years ago, given inflation, there’s been tremendous pressure from ultra-low cost carriers to reduce prices. As a result, airlines don’t really make a profit off their flight operations. The big three are worth less than their loyalty programs. They are essentially banks with an aviation department.
Repeatedly I have had last second “equipment swaps” even to the exact same airplane type and the exact same cabin configuration, and the genius airline will scramble our seats and sit my kids far away from me. This happened last literally on the way to the airport on an airfrance flight. Getting people moved to sit next to my kids is the ONLY solution, and airlines often will not even do that. So EVEN IF YOU BOOKED YOUR SEATS TOGETHER months in advance, and checked every few weeks, families can and do get separated. Hell Airfrance even tried to move me away from my family without explanation AFTER I checked in and had a boarding pass while I was in their flagship lounge in CDG. No notice I just noticed my seat changed when checking if my slightly delayed flight was going to be delayed more. I got it switched back on the lounge, but it took doing.
@RabbMD… sounds familiar!
I invited my children to sit beside a man who refused to move from a seat I was ticked for and had a boarding pass that confirmed it. When my boys were seated by Mr. Right I turned and asked the attendant where she needed me to sit. He jumped up quickly at that point and asked where he should move!
@RabbMD Air France is notorious for this. Especially out of IAD where if you have any politician or diplomat on the flight who is not happy they will move everyone to give him/her the desired seat.
I often use the words “hell” and Air France” in the same sentence…..
An interesting take from the other side of the discussion.
My family of 5 were flying to HI. I managed to get all of us, my wife and 3 kids (10 and under) all in the same bulk head row. I watched to make sure our seats stayed the same for weeks.
Come time for the flight they switched equipment and now it was my wife and 3 kids together and me somewhere back several rows in an aisle seat. I was on the verge of becoming one of those kinds of people but a guy who was sitting next to to them said he’d swap his seat with me. What a relief. Bought him a view drinks for his kindness. (and maybe he didn’t want to get stuck sitting amongst all those kids anyway) so there can be times where there are reasons for needing to swap that have nothing to do with lack of planning.
And on a related note, due to the equipment change they were oversold by several seats so they were offering $1,200 (cash) to give up your seat. (and this was before the Dr. Dao incident) Only problem was the next flight you only had a standby seat with no way to know when you’d actually get on a flt. If it would have just been me I’d have taken a chance but not with 5 of us.
You’re a very smart man. Buying a couple of drinks for an accommodating passenger was definitely the way to go!!! And, yes, he probably did not want to sit by the kids, but, so what? You still did the right thing in showing your appreciation!
One of the reasons now that I always book an emergency exit row (more legroom too) on domestic flights is no kids or parents asking to change seats. I have changed seats for same seat in the past for desperate families but since I’m now in emergency exit row, that doesn’t happen anymore.
100 % support from me. I fly rarely and pay extra for my choice of seats based on several factors. I don’t care who you are, if you ask for my seat, you better come with an upgrade to first class or the answer is no.
I agree, nobody should feel forced to switch seats. I get especially annoyed when the airline gives in and changes a single person’s seat assignment to accommodate a couple’s request. That said, when asked nicely to move, I would move most of the time, especially for families with children.
Years ago I was in a 2-5-2 configuration plane from Atlanta to Paris in a window I had paid full fare economy for. The seat next to me was empty. A lady who had the middle in the five plus the seat next to it with her son who was like seven wanted me to move to the middle so her son could “look out the window” because it was his first flight ever. I said no because I paid for the seat and plus it’s a night flight.
And just like that I was responsible for crushing her son’s hopes and dreams.
Two seats in the two seat row for you and your kid is not an equal trade if I’m in the middle and have to crawl over two seats every time I get up. I only trade for equal or better.
The person who is asking for favor also has to consider the fact that we booked a certain seat for a reason. I need a window seat because I have mild claustrophobia and I need to look to the sky outside instead of flying in the dark as some people like to, by slamming down their window shades. But if I inadvertently had a middle seat, sure, I would gladly give it up! LOL.
If the airline requests I change, I will. Just provide me a business class seat.
Agreed!
Why can’t I reply to your article directly? The woman is absolutely right…she planned her trip, like I do…why should she have to change her seating because someone else can’t plan properly? Another example how single flyers get picked on…
I am with you…
I was upgraded to Business Class on LH and the Family of an elderly man also in Business Class wanted me sit with him! I agreed as he looked sane..lol. Poor guy was ill and going home…he never shut up on the 7.25 hr flight. When we deplaned I told the Son, its on him and I will never switch seats again. Lesson leaned.
Clearly a well meaning, kids-free adult. Empathy, it looks like, is priceless.
Usually those not seated together bought a ticket not directly from the airline but on expedia or travelocity etc and if they read the fine print they would understand that they may not be seated next to each other. Never feel bad for saying NO.
I’m reasonable and if you ask nicely, if there’s a legitimate reason, and if it’s an equitable seat, I have no problem switching. I consider a legitimate reason as a small child separated from family, health reason, or similar. A couple who just want to sit together? No, I’m not moving from my selected seat, it’s only a few hours, you can deal with the separation.
Once, I was waiting to board a flight in front of a couple who had just eloped. I only knew this because they were chatting with the guy behind them and explaining they bought tickets on this flight that morning. They could only get middle seats across the aisle from each other (last minute booking, so makes sense). The other guy kept saying what a shame they weren’t sitting together and surely someone will change a window or aisle seat for them. To their credit, it didn’t sound like they were planning to ask, but the guy kept suggesting they should. We board and I end up in the row in front of theirs. The chatty guy? Turns out, he ended up having the aisle seat next to the groom. And did he offer to switch with the bride? He did not.
I enjoy your articles. But need to proofread better.
Yes, people who write sentence fragments are the worst!
Definitely on team Jaci.
As a business woman who travels frequently I have seats I like and dislike. I do feel that as a woman I am asked more frequently than surrounding men to switch. In fact, I can’t remember the last I saw a man asked to switch. United stewardess recently asked me to change seats on a red eye so a couple could sit together. ‘ it’s the same seat’, she says. No. A window seat in 4 th row is not the same as an aisle in first row next to the galley and bathroom. ESP. When the whole reason for paying for lie flat first class was to sleep and arrive ready to go.
I usually don’t get bugged much on planes. Perhaps it’s my retractable adamtium claws…
But I digress…I like aisle seats because of my shoulders. Otherwise, though, I tend to be easygoing. I’m a Mensan Millionaire UCLA SOM Trained Boarded Psychiatrist who works with the most seriously mentally ill patients in a Southwestern State.
I try never to fly, but when I do, few things bother me. At 60, I’ve seen a lot of things.
Well, aren’t we special!
Actually he is!! Not for what he does or the $$, but because HE IS NICE…
I recently switched an aisle seat for a middle. It was only a 2 hour flight, and sitting next to an unaccompanied 2 year old while mom was in the seat in front of him seemed far less comfortable thsn swapping seats for a middle.
Kind gesture. I salute you.
Good for you, lady!
What a grumpy group of flyers you are.
If I’m asked to switch a seat, unless it’s putting me in a middle seat, I’m pretty much inclined to agree and move on with more important things in my life. The small, petty and petulant response as offered by many commenters here is really unfortunate.
Yeah, stand up for your freedumb! Nobody is gonna make YOU move! You showed them!
Sheesh.
Who’s the grumpy one? Lol.
There!! Finally a decent person…
I generally say yes, when asked, which is relatively uncommon. Often I’m flying alone and I don’t mind most seating situations. The exceptions– I’ll admit it– is when the person in the adjacent seat is so big that they’re encroaching into the seat that I’m asked to move into, or if the adjacent traveller looks like they smell bad.
When it’s me asking, the only point in asking is to sit next to a young child, I have only been turned down once– perhaps it’s related to asking nicely, offering as close as I can to a comparable trade in seats, and explaining the situation. We plan way ahead too, and buy very good seats.
The one time I was turned down, I did think ill of the people. I still do. My wife and I were traveling with a child barely over 2. Required by law, we bought a ticket for the kid. Due to a hurricane our flight was cancelled, and then on the re-booked flight there was a last minute equipment change, going from a 3-3 cabin to a 2-2. So, seat assignments were a crash and grab type of thing.
When we got on the plane, a married couple were sitting in aisle seats, one in front of the other. We had the windows, and a nearby aisle seat too. The 2 year old was supposed to be in a window next to a stranger. These were not obviously physically disabled or tall people. They were married, but wouldn’t sit next to each other. Neither would move to the other aisle seat that we had. They just flat out weren’t going to move, no matter what. It was a 90 minute flight.
My wife flew with the baby in her lap next to one of the non-movers. Which we were lucky to get away with, but did. Our aisle seat went unused.
I’m sure plenty of you relate to the non-movers– never move, no matter the scenario. That’s how you are. I will think of you as an a–hole, and treat you as such. That’s how I am.
Why do you assume that your need of that seat is greater than the person who booked it?
Maybe they have reasons that are every bit as valid as yours for needing that seat.
You say that you think of non-movers as a-holes, but it seems to me that an a-hole is the one like you who assumes their need is greatest and everyone else needs to accommodate them.
For example, even though I appear to be a perfectly healthy middle aged man, I have two very legitimate reasons for selecting the seats that I do.
One, I have had multiple surgeries on my left knee. I don’t usually walk with a limp, but since there is no cartilage left in my knee the arthritis on the bones is terrible so if I sit more than a few minutes with my knee bent my knee will swell and I will have obvious pain and discomfort for the next few days (and will definitely have a limp). As a result, I always book an aisle seat on the right side of the plane so I can occasionally extend and stretch my left leg into the aisle when no one is walking by. If I had to sit in a seat where I could not do this, even for a short 45 minute flight, I would be in pain and be unable to walk for any distance for the next two days. So I should have to give up the next two days of my vacation because you have to sit next to your kid?
The second legitimate reason is that I have minor claustrophobia. I don’t like being in tight enclosed spaces and I especially do not like being in tight, enclosed spaces blocked in by people. I need the extra space of the aisle beside me. If I am in a window or middle seat, my heart rate increases, my blood pressure rises, I start to sweat. Visually I look very stressed (because I am). If I sit in a non-aisle seat I will get off the plane literally drenched in sweat and be exhausted like I had just run a marathon (because my heart has just been beating so fast for the entire flight). Sure, I can handle it, but why should I have to go through with that just so you can sit next to your kid?
Despite looking like a perfectly healthy middle aged (40 something) male who isn’t exceptionally tall or overweight, but I have perfectly legitimate physical reasons for not wanting to give up my seat. If that makes me an a-hole in your eyes, I think that says more about you than me.
As a single flyer my seat has been changed without my knowledge to accommodate others .
Would be nice to have a choice
Yes, indeed.
This happened to me recently. I research my seat selections as soon as I book and try to get an empty middle seat next to me on flights that aren’t full. I picked out an aisle seat next to an empty middle seat. The middle seat was still empty up to an hour before the flight. Suddenly I noticed I’m assigned a different aisle seat with a full middle seat. I go to the gate agent and he admits he made the change to accommodate a party of 3 so that 1 of them could sit on the aisle next to the others across from aisle. Of course I now was seated next to an overweight passenger in the middle seat. Meanwhile someone else enjoyed the aisle seat I had selected next to an empty middle seat. He had headphones on and I didn’t see him interact with his party at all. They should be required to ask first if they intend to move you for someone else’s convenience.
You’re just a dumb selfish fool
You ALL sound like a NUNCH of SELF CENTERED PRIVILEDGED “Karens” to ME!
Is a “nunch ” a group of Karens? Kinda like a murder of crows or a school of fish?
Same thing as a “gaggle” of attorneys (as in “Class Action Lawsuit’)
No, no, nope and no. I booked my flight well in advance and I paid extra for those upgrades that I chose. I was on a flight yesterday with my husband.
We both had aisle seats. We didn’t “need ” to sit next to each other. We were comfortable and happy 0n our 4 hour flight.
Even if you purchased economy seats, you can still upgrade and choose your own seats. I will NOT give up the seat I paid extra for and I would be very upset if someone else who didn’t pay waltzed up and took a similar seat without paying for it. Unless it is a real emergency….and CRYING is not an emergency,
I’m NOT going anywhere. 15C, thank you very much.
If you want a seat next to your partner, children, grandmother then pay for it beforehand. If you have a medieval view of the relations between men and women then travel by donkey.
I organise the seat I want well in advance if you can’t be bothered to do the same tough! You are not getting my seat.
And for last-minute bookings?
If you have to make a last-minute booking, you get what you get. Plain and simple. Take it or leave it. Sometimes life just sucks! And sometimes, you are fortunate enough to be able to find a person amiable enough to switch seats.
If I can choose my seat ahead of time You can choose yours as well. If you don’t or didn’t Not my problem. Move on. Especially that it’s only a temporary thing. Deal with It.
Is this any different than open seating on Southwest.
Was among the first 20 PAX onboard, and was told that the entire 4th row (3 + 3) “was reserved” by one woman standing guard. She spent the entire boarding process deflecting others. As the cabin filled, frustration was in the air. Based on announcements to take the first available seat, one gentleman sat on the 4th row and was joined by others.
The remaining party of 5 ended up with random positions.
I was upgraded to first class aisle for the short trip of PDX-SFO. It was 7am and the guy who sat next to me was already completely smashed. And I could tell he was the handsy kind of drunk, very happy to be next to a “pretty girl,” etc. So his friend boards and is equally drunk, pulls out a massive wad of cash and says will I trade seats with him. Happily. When I get to the aisle seat in row 10 I count the cash. $250. Way more than I paid for the flight in the first place. Best. Trade. Ever.
Now that is a trade I’d make any day! Cool.
I almost always fly First or Business. This has only happened to me twice to which I politely smiled and said “no thank you. I’m going to enjoy my window seat.” That was the end of the discussion.
This exact thing happened to my husband and I. We are married with different last names. I boarded ahead of him unbeknownst to me they stopped him and informed him that they reassigned his seat to accommodate a family. I had no idea it was a ( 3 -3 configuration) i was seated waiting for my husband because the had pulled him out of line to explain the situation. 2 children ages 9 and 10 sit down in the two seats next to me, i had a window seat husband had an isle seat knowing that i would give up my window seat if plan was full & if I wanted to sit next to him. I told them my husband was sitting there they had the wrong row. The flight attendant came forward and told me I didnt have a husband and that that seat was reassigned to accommodate a family. I am like WHAT? my husband then comes down the isle and is assigned 5 rows up and clearly unhappy of how this was handled. When he asked the flight attendants why he was given a choice. She wasnt happy that he questioned her. Told the captn of the airplane that my husband was being difficult and had him removed from the plane. This was an Alaska Airline flight from LAX to Seattle it was a horrible experience and i now do everything in my power to not fly Alaska.
I will accommodate if it’s not a downgrade. The time some woman tried to guilt me into swapping my aisle exit row in comfort plus for a middle seat non exit row? No. The time a husband took his first class upgrade and assumed someone would trade with his main cabin wife so they could be together? Gtfo
I’m always happy to swap for an equivalent seat and I agree with the reminder that separated families may have been involuntarily separated by the airline due to equipment swap or irrops. This has happened to my family of 4 multiple times. I assure you, I have put as much thought, effort and money into my family travel as you have. It’s fine to say no, but don’t assume you were smarter or better than the exhausted parent who has been checking seat maps 3-4/day for a month trying to avoid this very conversation after the airline canceled their flight and scattered their toddlers throughout the plane.
Why is a celebrity anymore entitled than anyone else? I wouldn’t change seats for Jesus.
Now talk about the couples who book seats with an “empty” seat in between and squeeze the poor bugger who ends up there, rather than swapping to take adjacent seats and leave a stranger to travel in peace. Happened to me more than once and the sense of entitlement, as they pretend there is no one sitting there is amazing.
I once worked overseas in Tbilisi in the Republic of Georgia. Trips home to Alaska were rare and long. Tbilisi to Amsterdam on a red-eye, then to Minneapolis, and finally to Anchorage. Seating was important, especially on the Amsterdam to Minneapolis leg. Aisle seats were important.
I flew KLM to Amsterdam. The red-eye was uncomfortable but the best routing. When I was boarding in Amsterdam for the Minneapolis leg, I was denied boarding, pulled out of line and assigned a new seat so a family could sit together.
My new seat was a middle seat in the last row. The seat did not recline. That was 17 years ago. I have never flown KLM again.
I’ve switched once or twice. Last time I sat next to cute dog and FA gave me some miles. Recently a Karen wouldn’t let a woman with a cane sit down bc there are plenty of other aisle seats further back. Her son has middle but seat wanted an empty middle. It was a mess. Poor lady with cane was standing there. She was seconds from being filmed for Karen YouTube videos. You get the seat assigned. Period. I’ll move if it’s kids. That’s tough on parents. But won’t move to crummier seat. Sorry. Just so two adults can be together. Sorry. Doing rest of plane a favor to not hear their chatting. Lol.
We need a website for ppl who talk non stop in concerts. I want Ticketmaster to have a quiet section like Amtrak
First of all, I agree with those who reported that the airline switched seats around, without consulting them, so families could be together. They have no right to do that, and they deserve appropriate compensation if that happens. I am a former flight attendant, and I was the ONLY F/A on my small puddle-jumper flights. I made every effort to find ways to accommodate everyone. If a person who was capable of bing in the emergency exit row, I would switch them to those seats, if it would assist families. Sometimes, I moved multiple people to accommodate them, and assist families. If a young child is going to be left alone, without a child, an adult should always be willing to switch, unless you are talking about NYC to Tokyo, nonstop, which is about 14 hours of flight time, so more like 18 hours of travel time. Then, no way, unless it is an emergency situation. Bottom line is, don’t expect others to be inconvenienced just so you and your friend can sit together – get over it!!! Also, don’t travel with multiple kids, unless you can seat at least one parent with the kids, even if you’re split Mom to 2 kids, Dad to 2 kids, etc…..
Totally understandable. It’s not her problem other people didn’t plan ahead. At the same time though, be a decent human being. Traveling “all the time” doesn’t make you special. It’s not your personal plane and you are not any more important than amyone else just because you travel a lot for work. If moving over a seat is going to prevent a child from screaming the whole flight, do yourself and everyone else on the plane a favor and move over. It’s the nice, not self centered way to be, traveling or otherwise.
I always firmly and loudly assert, “No!”
Some flyers are confused, to which I often assert my seat number and letter assignment and clarify where the other person seat is.
I then call to a flight attendant if further help is needed.
Any staff request to move must be accompanied by an upgrade.
The religious scenarios here shock me. I never have experienced them. I would not alter my response.
Haha. You seem like Dwight Schrute! You and the commenter, Stuart, should travel together.
I don’t travel that much by plane, and, when I do, I often fly Southwest. I’m almost always in the last class to board, so I accept that I’ll end up in a middle seat and pick the first one I see that’s between two thin and clean-looking people. I’ve come to realize that I don’t mind the middle seat under those circumstances.
My wife and I love to fly, and have each flown more than 1.5 million miles during our many travels. Since our first flight to Europe in 1972, we have judiciously picked our seats. In recent years, that sometimes costs more to do. But it’s an opportunity open to all. We like bulkhead seats, with no one in front of us. We like two across. We love business seats that become sleepers. Don’t even think of asking us to move our seats (although we did in 2002, returning from London, to accommodate two sky marshalls). It seemed there was a credible threat at that time that four transatlantic flights would be bombed. So to every rule, there’s an exception. Absent the bomb threat, we don’t care that you’re not sitting with granny or your five year old. You could have, but chose not to. Don’t guilt us, and don’t even think of becoming obscene. That SNAFU is on you.
8A is a window seat not an aisle seat.
It’s both a window and aisle on Virgin Atlantic. But that wasn’t the seat in question for this story.
“Jaci Stephen likes to flies Virgim Atlantic.”
The very first sentence of this article, and the author makes a glaring grammatical error that would have been circled in red by my Fourth Grade teacher (in the 1970s)? Are there no editors? Either drop the “likes to” or substitute “fly” for “flies”. There are other obvious errors in this article . . . I lost count.
I am not a professional writer, nor a teacher. Did we stop teaching grammar in K-12 schools?
Yess. Huked on fonics reely werked fore mee.
Maybe your humor, or attempt at humor, would be acceptable if it were not for so many other people commenting on all the errors.
Don’t worry, we’ll issue you a full refund for this story.
And on a serious note, I recognize it is a probelm…but I’m a one-man shop and it is what it is. Hopefully I improve over time…
Many aren’t going to care, but it’s not always the parents’ fault they’re not sitting next to their infants or toddlers. As one example, I know many people who are posted overseas for the USG, they don’t get to book their flights, it’s done for them. The ticketing offices don’t always care if the family is put together, or sometimes the seats just aren’t available at the 7-8 day window when many of these tickets are purchased. Or, in the case of flying to a family emergency, the seats aren’t always available together. Now, for the entitled folks who demand accommodation, or try to trade a middle coach for business aisle, yeah, they need to pack sand. But let’s have a little compassion folks, not every one is a clueless loser who isn’t smart enough to book tickets together when they come asking for help.
I take exception to “the UK Daily Mail (world’s best tabloid…)” which appears to be the basis of this article.
Capt’n speaking. Please understand that booking a seat does not entitle you to the seat being real estate and thus untouchable. The seat might be unserviceable, needed for crew, deportees, police, and a multitude of other reasons. In such cases I will not discuss with you and you are free to leave the aircraft if you don’t like it. Just don’t let me make the arrangements for you.
There might also be a change of aircraft and the attributes that made your seat “untouchable” is now not satisfying the multitude of reasons you might have to choose said seat.
We are all sharing space be it on a plane or outside. If you are asked nicely and politely if you would swap a seat for a family or couple, you might make the couple very happy or maybe the partner might know of a condition, such as far of flying of the other half that they would not like to share with you. Separating them would create a lot of anxiety. Minors HAVE to sit next to a member of the family by regulation in my part of the world and I guess in the US too.
The OP ed stated that lady have to her seats for a celebrity, this says a lot about her and social skills.
Most seats are identical when considering the reasons cited in the article. Especially the other side of the same row.
As I said before, we are all sharing space and being kind and considerate to others would make the world such a better place.
As captains, we are not informed of pretty issues such as these but if an uncooperative person becomes unruly, then things might turn up differently.
Flying is a beautiful means of transport, joining cultures and continents, taking people on a well deserved vacation or to their loved ones etc.
Trivialities like these make me wonder what kind of person you are outside the aircraft.
I just hope such a person doesn’t meet someone as inconsiderate as herself. No (wo)man is an island.
Happy landings!
You can F right off, captain.
If I book and paid for the seat, and YOU need to change it, then upgrade me. Cause God knows I’m never getting that seat fee for economy+ fee back from your godforsaken airline.
Your post reeks of a god complex. You’re a fancy bus driver, man….
Hahahaha, with THAT attitude YOU will be the one to be “f’d off”!! They’re the boss, NOT you!
I appreciate your remarks, it puts a good light on the whole situation!! Thank-you… now, if the others you are referring to, the “jerks” in this comment section would mature a little and understand the situation, especially those with littles ones, realize that THINGS happen!! What a nice flight it would be…
Wish we could edit.
Blah
If the airline assigned the seats and the parent is separated from the child, and asks someone to switch so they can sit next to their child, and the person won’t switch – hopefully they are prepared to listen to the toddler or child talk/whine nonstop, wipe their snotty nose, clean up the spilled soda on their tray table, and tell them to sit still while they’re fidgeting and moving around in their seat the entire flight. No thanks, I’ll gladly switch seats!
This is very simple, you can ask me to move from MY seat. It is my option, that is why you are asking. If my answer is no then go ask someone else. Don’t cry about it or throw a temper tantrum like a 8 year old. Your travel issues are yours not mine. I do not like to fly, I pay extra to sit along the aisle and up front. I’m not moving.
If seats have to be changed to accommodate the problem the airlines is facing then the airline has to pay back the people for the extra money they spent securing that seat and no excuses from the airlines either
You pick your seats in advance. Book in advance, Dont expect people to change because you were lazy or late. I agree with the lady.
Frank, we recently flew on a 50 seat hopper to Panama City from Texas. We always get the bulkhead because my husband has multiple cancers often requiring the use of the restroom. We entered the plane last week and there was a woman with a service dog. She was in our seat my husband politely said you are in our seat. She said no I am entitled to the seat I have a service dog. To make a long story short we did not move she held up the plane for at least 10 minutes. Moving from sea to sea to see if her dog would fit. The plane was already an hour late due to weather the pilot was not thrilled. I felt all eyes were on us this poor woman Who had on Birkenstocks a backpack that she should’ve fallen over with and proceeded to put her feet up over her head on the wall in front of her when she wiggled her way into the first class first seat on the plane. I felt that all lies were on us because we were not going to move. I’m not sure what she needed this ““ service dog for and it was none of my business. But I do know why we would fly in the bulkhead. And like other people if we can’t get the seats that we need we wait for another flight or different plane Pick your seat ahead particularly if you have a disability. It ruined my entire flight.
I have vertigo really bad hi always pick specific seats based on being close to the bathroom, on a certain side, being on the aisle or window and other factors depending on how long the flight is. I had someone recently asked me if I would switch with his girlfriend and I said no she’s too far back and I’ll get motion sickness if I sit back there. I ended up asking other neighbors if they would switch and they did. Also you usually have to pay extra to be off that close to the front. Finally, everyone’s been missing their connections lately. I’m not going to risk missing mine or be unable to get to mine in time because you wanted me to sit closer to the back.
Absolutely. Everyone wants to take a stance about not understanding to switch seats, especially when it comes to kids. Of course, no one wants to consider that maybe medically, physically or even mentally it is difficult to change seats. The outrage that is a little funny is the people who suggested alternate means for those who feel privilege to assuage someone of something they paid for, have little consideration for anyone else who might have valid reasons for saying no. it is not always about the person “seemingly” in need.
Point well taken!
I’ll throw in my two cents.
I would probably change seats so people can sit together…IF it was a comparable (or better) seat, but here’s my issue, learned the hard way: I will only trade a window for another window IF the seat I’m being asked to move *to is not a spot where I end up with *fill in the blank with whatever annoys you most* sitting near me.
Scope it out before saying yes, or you may regret that nice gesture for the rest of the flight.
That’s ok you can sit with my screaming child lol
If you never move for anyone, then why do it for a “celebrity”? The “celebrity” is no better than an underage child with a parent who has to sit separately. The “celebrity” could’ve did the same as the rest right? Purchased a seat like you did.
100% in agreement. Status should not equate to exceptions to the rule or boundaries you set for yourself.
I normally don’t mind trading seats with someone but this one time I did. I had a lot of discomfort in my leg and I agreed to trade seats with this woman so she could sit with her husband and I had forgotten how much smaller it is by the window and it was an extremely painful trip to where we were going and on top of that we had to sit on the tarmac for over an hour due to severe storms before the plane took off and then what does she do she nags her husband the entire flight. I was so tempted to tell her if I’d known you were going to do that I never would have switched seats with you!
I am perfectly OK with her decision! I fly often as well, I do prefer specific seats, depending on the airline. Overall as a rule, if I can’t sit row 5 or forward, I’ll get a different flight. I have been in a position that I’ve been asked to give up a seat for a family to sit together. The frustrating thing about it to me is that, the seats that I sit in are upgraded, higher priced. So when someone wants to sit with a family member and bring them from row 26 to row 3, that’s not OK. I paid for my seat and everyone else has the same opportunity. People can’t be cheap. Buy the seat you want or fly a different flight or airline.
I did it once for a family but NEVER again. We arrive 2 hrs prior and had seats together. Family of 5 are the last to board and of course are not sitting together. Flight attendant of course scramble around trying to find people to switch because the children are too young to themselves. Long story, my husband and I move to accommodate them. Find out later they lived 15 minutes from the airport and never arrived more than 15 minutes before gate closed. This was just after airlines started to charge for seats, which I swore I’d never do. Guess what? I pay for a seat now and wouldn’t switch no matter what the reason!!
We always book seats together; however, on numerous occasions thr airlines have changed our seats so we are not together. Not a big deal to me in general except when the children were young. To me it is the airlines responsibility if they change my seats. We always ask at the gate tp put us together and they usually are able. If they can’t they tell the flight attendants. I always told them “Goodluck letting this 3 year old scream without a parent by them.” It’s nice when the airlines move you up a class when someone wants to sit next to each other at thr back. I don’t understand a mindset of people who expect others to move because they wanted to buy cheaper seats.
I don’t understand someone who says they won’t switch so families can sit together but will switch for celebrities. Explain that logic.
I’ll generally switch as long as the switch is somewhat equivalent. But I have had some really ridiculous requests made.
One example- I had an aisle seat. The woman next to me (in a middle seat) asked me to switch so she could sit next to her husband across the aisle. I politely declined but offered to switch with him. She angrily declined because as she said they liked to both have aisle seats. I said me too, that’s why I booked it, and offered again. She refused, so I settled in. She then summoned a flight attendant to try and force me to switch with her. I again offered to switch with the husband (who was completely ignoring the entire transaction) which the attendant assumed would resolve the situation and was surprised to find out that wasn’t good enough. It got to the point that she had to be threatened with removal before she would stop.
I have flown over a 1 million miles on many airlines. The airline moves the seating arrangement all the time. You can buy seat together but if you have a connecting flight you are not guaranteed those seats. I have flown with my small children many times and had inconsiderate people refuse to trade seats. I had 3 small children in different parts of the plane from me once. A 2 year old was expected to sit on a six hour flight 9 rows back from anyone else in the family. People should be more considerate of these situations which show up on almost every flight now a days. The best part of this article is that a celebrity is the last person you should move seats for.
I don’t get the scenario you described. How would switching from a window seat to a middle seat help someone sit together?
Different rows.
Not everyone can afford to book months in advance and even when you do you can still end up with widely scattered seats. I have anxiety disorder and fibro and it is best for me to travel with a family member and in an aisle seat. Usually we are good but in a few occasions we have politely asked for seat swaps and people are generally very nice. We don’t ask for upgrades or window seats and I have even offered to pay for a womans.drink who switched.tongjve me an aisle seat. Rjjsnwasnon southwest where there are no assigned seats. The airline paid for her drink because one of the flight attendants saw what she did. We have also helped others in this way when we could . Not everyone is a scam artist and I believe in karma
You make a reasonable point.
Its all in the approach…demanding it is not the way to do it…
People are petty and pathetic. I’m sure this woman and her cats have a wonderful life together, full of wine and Portlandia
And I imagine in doing so, she leads a thoughtful, satisfying life with little chaos and flailing around.
I’m happy to move seats as long it’s not a downgrade (though I’m rarely if ever been asked). Often times I pay for preferred aisle seats because nearly all my flights are 3+ hours, I drink a lot of water to stay hydrated, don’t want to inconvenience people when I get up every 30 mins to go to the toilets, need that extra six inches to avoid foot/leg pain and want to be able to get off ASAP when flying with just carry-ons.
Back in the Virgin America days I had a coast to coast, paid for main cabin extra aisle for the legroom and aforementioned reason. Guy asks me to switch to his middle 5 rows back to sit next to his middle seat girlfriend. I say “$150”. He and the gf give me a stare and goes back to his seat. I’m sorry, but I paid extra to reserve that seat barring some existential circumstance (to which I’d ask the airline to compensate in-flight or post-flight). By asking you are inconveniencing me, not you, and I guess your gf isn’t worth $150.
Now, to the question of minors/family/medical needs. I am willing to switch but again no true downgrade if possible. Swap an aisle a couple rows back? Totally fine. Want me to take your window? Depends on my mood and sense of entitlement. Asking for the middle? Sorry but that’s not a free lunch.
I often say it is rude and disrespectful to approach someone you don’t know first of all and ask, request, suggest, or take their seat on the plane. Yes I understand if your offering a better seat. But mostly all have the option to make seat selection upon purchase and before boarding. One problem is some people don’t treat themselves with the priority that they feel they are entitled to. If you want to be together, purchase together and pay the cost to floss and be the boss. There’s so many scammers out here, some will buy first class seats for 1 and economy for the other hoping to scam their way forward. That’s not fair is actually theft. No one is mandated to give up their confirmed seat to accommodate someone else’s slickery. Even when they purchase it states you may not be seated together, you agreed. Why would I give up my window or aisle for a downgrade inconvenience when I received my preference. A rear faced for my forward faced, No….. So I should get motion sickness because you don’t want to pay the extra and plan accordingly, I don’t think so. Then to just sit in someone’s seat and point them in a different direction??? No…. who made you reservations, or the gate agent??? Then to be swapping seats not only once the plane has been cleaned and sanitized you switch seats and now Mary is at a greater risk of catching Jimbo’s covid and monkey pox’s from sitting in his contaminated seat. Keep playing people, if and/or when the plane crashes (yes I said it) when the teeth in the seat don’t match the manifest and they can’t find you….. Your family would wish you’d paid forward and spent the extra money instead of them dishing out thousands later. That won’t be the airlines fault. Safe travels to ALL.
Karen, you don’t catch COVID from an airplane seat….
I had this happen to me recently. Was flying to Jamaica on Southwest, Pais for business class just because I knew it was a packed flight and wanted to sit where I wanted to sit…..of all the people the stewardess asked me to move. I didn’t thought it’s what I paid for.
I totally understand not wanting to be inconvenienced because travel is already stressful enough. I understand feeling frustrated in being asked to be displaced for a kid to be near a parent. However, none of you people saying that family’s should plan ahead know what you’re talking about. When I flew with my family of 4 recently the airline cancelled our original flight and shoved us on another one. We called ahead of time to explain we had young children that absolutely had to be seated near at least one parent. The service agent said we would be seated together but that the gate agent would assign seats the day of our flight upon check in. But guess what they didn’t do? We planned ahead we called to verify, we showed up at the airport super early, and they still tried to put my 1 and 5 year old next to strangers. So instead of assuming parents are incompetent and poor planners, maybe realize that crap happens, and that you don’t actually know why a family is in this situation. I promise you that most parent to not feel entitled to what you planned and paid for. But if we get screwed by the airline I absolutely need to sit my my small child, and that is for the benefit of everyone on the aircraft.
Ps
If you think people with kids shouldn’t travel you are ridiculous. I’ve seen SO MANY adults while traveling that have worse behavior than my kids ever have.
Life happens yet to think that every parent takes the steps you took on one occasion is somewhat nonsensible. Yes, in today’s environment of cancel flights, it is app to happen more yet thinking parents are entitled to travel with their kids is the same logic that everyone should pay for someone poor decision around school loans they can’t pay back.
Because adults act poorly doesn’t mean that parents should travel with kids who act badly. Let’s be real! Because people are looting in LA, should you loot in Tulsa? That is what you are saying.
Until recently with all of the cancellations, your example is not why most parents were not seated with their kids and also why Spirit and the cheap airlines like Southwest emerged. People did not want to pay so get real and be honest about why most situations happen and stop using the special cause to justify ridiculous reasoning
You’re a jerk!! He gave a VERY reasonable and VERY logical response, yet you still choose to be a jerk!!! That’s ok, you can take care of the little ones, while the parent enjoys some time off..
This is why this thread is even a thing; just because you don’t agree and have limited vocabulary, you should not attempt to converse with folks out of your league.
Everyone has a story; no one story Trumps another. That is where we get it wrong; your rights CanNOT override mine. Society has forgotten this lesson and ignorant ones apparently never understood it!
I do pay extra for special seating on occasion. I make reservations for myself and others as soon as I can but there is no reason to be rude in a request. Sometimes, I do move but only to a seat that meets my needs. I am not sitting in a middle seat if I did not choose it. I also had a rude person ask me to change and was really personal and I told him it would cost him $100- cash. He left.
I book my flights as early as possible and I book according to seat availability. I have vertigo, rheumatoid arthritis and I’m claustrophobic, a rear facing seat or a middle or window seat can give me motion sickness or a panic attack and because of my RA I have to get up and move frequently, thus the need for an aisle seat toward the front. I will always pay extra to have these issues accommodated. I am asked often to trade seats on flights, if there is a comparable seat I have no problem moving but I have now learned, because it does happen so frequently, to politely decline. It is a very uncomfortable situation for the entire flight after that and I really feel that it is unfair to put people in that position, you don’t know the reasons for someone not wanting to move and if they turn down your request, you should graciously accept that!
As for the previous comment made by a pilot saying no one has the right to any particular seat or piece of real estate on I plane, I disagree when you pay A lot for certain seats!
I’ve got to support the woman on this one. Some said she was “obsessive” but we’ve all got our quirks and peeves. Personally, I would likely cave to a polite request to switch, but that’s because I tend to be a people-pleaser- not because the other passenger is entitled to it.
You do not have to switch your seat unless a flight attendant requires you to do so. That’s it, that’s the only rule. You do not need a reason or excuse to stay where you are.
I have flown many millions of miles over several decades, so this is a situation I have been on both sides of.
I will sometimes agree to switch, for an equivalent or better seat, but it all depends on how I’m asked and whether the person acts as if I’m obligated to make the switch. That’s an automatic no. If I arrive to find someone already in my seat, it’s an automatic no too.
More commonly, someone wants you to switch to an inferior seat. I like to confuse them by thanking them and then apologizing profusely. “Thank you so much for asking, but I’m very very sorry, I can’t do that.” It usually confuses them enough that they don’t push further.
On the other side of things, I have asked others to move so that my partner and I can sit together. I always offer an equal or better seat (I’m usually asking someone who is in a middle seat if they’ll take my window or aisle) and I start the conversation by saying, “You can absolutely say no if you’re not comfortable switching” to try to remove any pressure. I don’t want someone to change if they aren’t comfortable doing so. To me, that’s just being respectful of others.
I do not look kindly on those who have failed to plan or have purchased Basic Economy tickets are are now hoping to find some sucker to give them an upgrade. That sucker will never be me.
I just find it interesting that she’s willing to move seats at the request of a celebrity via the airplane attendant, but not a human being without celebrity status wanting the same request. If your standard is your standard, then it is no respector of persons. Sounds to me that she is a respector of person, and that in flying situations it’s tied to fame/celebrity connection; which then sounds like a rule that can be broken. She just simply chooses when to apply the breaking. Simply put, a power trip.
OR, she really does NOT want to switch seats at all. But pushed into answering some stupid question like “Well, who WOULD you switch with?” She just happened to come up with that answer. Hm so clever.
The think the f/a wanted her to move for the celebrity because other passengers would bother him/her and her seat was more isolated and easier to keep order in the cabin, not to cater to the celebrity’s whim.
I have switched seats a few times & have been worse off each time. I book & plan ahead & now refuse to move unless I feel its really necessary. This reminds me of a short flight once where the husband was near the front of economy & his wife was quite a long way back. She refused to sit & carried on to the point that no- one would have helped her. Finally a guy in the front stood up, removed his cowboy hat & said “hey lady sit down – its only a 20 minute flight, give the old man a break & lets get this show on the road”. She sat down, we all laughed & we took off! Loved it!
I have no problem being accommodating if the request is reasonable and I’m getting a broadly similar seat. What I despise is when offered something I’m not interested in taking and someone acting like I’m the one being a problem. A UA FA was a total jerk to me after he came up to me and presumptuously said “oh, I have such an upgrade for you. I have a forward facing aisle you get to move to.” Except I preferred a rear facing window. If it was a forward window, I’d have switched – but I hate aisle seats. I ended up having to get the purser involved, because he was being super aggressive with me. The upgrader guy sitting next to me who didn’t get to sit with his also upgraded wife was super nice.
What parent books seats far apart for small children? You know some people are not welling to change ,then you have to live with it.
Haha follow the pilot out. She won’t be going far, fast. He stays until everyone is out and he may not be going out the front. This is just silly. I would give up my seat without thinking for a family with kids to sit together.
People act like the airline just gives out random seats… every flight I’ve flown (plenty) I’ve gotten to pick. I pay extra to have my spouse or child sit with me sometimes. Folks are just too entitled. One things for sure if I say no you are not entitled to an explanation as to why.
As an airline employee I stand by the passenger not wanting to switch seats after she paid for seat 8A. She’s not obligated to make other passengers feel more comfortable.
I like window seats most of the time. And yes, me and my partner book well in advance and choose our seats during the booking process. It is well-thought out and planned, sometimes, we even paid to choose the seats; so don’t even ask to change. I don’t care if you are families or couples that need to sit together. I won’t change for a celebrity either. You should have booked them in advance, too. I book for a comfortable travel, so if the airline employee asks me to change seats, I will ask to give me another same window seat or a higher class, then I will change. If you ask and the person said no, just accept it and move on.
Another thing I noticed is that some families will book some higher class seats and book one economy. What is the motivation there? You are family, why didn’t you book all higher class seats? Did you expect that someone from the higher class seat will willingly give up their more expensive seat for economy just so your family can sit together?
Equivalent seat? Insufficient.
Unless you are giving me an upgraded seat in biz or first, I am not swapping.
I don’t care about your partner, your children or your psychological hang ups. I don’t care if you were lazy, cheap, ignorant or simply suffering bad luck. It’s not my problem to solve or inherit.
The only time I’ll give up a seat is if I’m receiving an upgrade, or at least a better one (for example, an aisle).
The Arab world pretty much has zero respect for the boarding card. On virtually every flight through Qatar, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, or UAE, it’s an absolute nightmare. Either someone’s in your seat, or someone will be pestering you to swap.