When news broke last week that CNN star Anthony Bourdain had taken his own life, I was saddened but not shocked. Not because I personally knew Bourdain was struggling, but because I know how hopeless life can feel sometimes.
I’m thankful that I have never struggled with suicidal thoughts. But a very dear friend has been struggling with such thoughts lately. This is a debilitating, debasing, and damaging struggle, for it spills into all areas of life, severely impacting personal, familial, romantic, and professional relationships.
Depression is a vicious cycle. It drains energy to the point in which days are spent in bed and allows lethargy to win out over vigor.
Travel becomes a way that some self-medicate. Perhaps that spurred some of the amazing trips that Bourdain took over the years. But travel is not the solution.
The issue of Bourdain (and Kate Spade) takes me to a central problem. Riches, fame, and wild success do not bring happiness. They never do. Travel doesn’t either.
All of humanity fights discontent to one degree or another. My contentment comes through my Christian faith, freeing me of the pressure of having to earn the approval of others. Yet every day is a new battle.
For those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, I gently implore you to seek professional help today. Do not put it off. No problem, no setback, and no disappointment is worth taking your life over. Reach out to a friend or loved one and talk the issue out. If you’re not near someone you trust, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You don’t have to fight your battle alone. Life is meant to be shared with others, both the good times and the bad times.
CONCLUSION
I’ll miss Bourdain’s wit and some of the food he introduced me to. I would wager a guess that many of us have friends or loved ones that are struggling or have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. Reach out to them today, even if just to quickly say “hello” or “I love you”. You won’t regret it.
image: Peabody Awards (used by permission)
Reminds me of a story I heard about the first billionaire Rockefeller. He had all kind of anxiety and eating disorders while building his fortune. When he started giving his fortune away to charity his health improved and lived to be in his 90’s.
Good post. It’s sad for sure but many of us have had struggles with depression even if for short periods. The worst thing is that it can sneak up on people and they don’t even know they are having an issue. Reach out to people who you think may be struggling. Encourage those around you, it won’t hurt anyone to care about others.
Agreed. But also reach out to those you don’t think are struggling.
The strongest people we know are often the best at hiding it. Think about it.
It truly doesn’t hurt to check on people. You just never know.
From someone who has three people in the NYC restaurant business, consider this. He was a misanthrope, an employee abuser, a wife dropper and a drug addict. An entertainer? You bet. A role model? Not so much.
Very bittersweet post. Thank you, Matthew.
We desperately need a better solution than that damn hotline. I know it helps some people, but the thought of calling a total stranger to talk about the most intimate feelings a person will ever have simply cannot be the best strategy.
I know I would never call it. We have to destigmatize this so the people closest to those struggling can see their illnesses. If we’re unwilling to tell our loved ones, it’s very unlikely we’ll call a stranger.
My two cents. Also, I disagree that travel cannot be a solution. It certainly was for me. Not the getting on a plane and flying luxuriously, but seeing different peoples and ways of life and gaining a new appreciation. That greatly helped me and some others I know.