I write about a lot of bad behavior onboard and sometimes I even experience it myself. Like on a recent American Airlines flight where a woman repatedly conducted FaceTime video calls and doomscrolled Instagram with the sound at full volume. When the flight attendants failed to shut her up, I did.
She Didn’t Like It When I Confronted Her For Blaring Mobile Phone Mid-Flight
This was on my recent Chicago to LA flight. A Russian lady (and I say that in a descriptive sense, not in any sort of derisive sense) was traveling solo and seated in front of me.
She loudly conducted a FaceTime conversation during boarding and up until the safety screening when a flight attendant told her to end the call. Side note: She put her feet up on the tray table immediately and left them there for most of the flight. Notice her socks…they look like the ones United Airlines places in its amenity kit.
Once we were in the air, she connected to the internet and resumed her call.
The flight attendant working our side of the aisle was a sweet young girl (and again, I don’t mean this in a patronizing sense, because she was very attentive). But she wasn’t firm or direct with the woman. To her credit, she “suggested” she end her phone call (“Technically, phone calls are not allowed onboard”), but then quickly walked away and my seatmate just continued her phone call.
It was loud enough to hear over the engine roaring…
Dinner was served. After dinner, she decided to start doomscorlling on Instagram.
You know how that goes…loud and obnoxious music in 4-5 second blurbs.
I gave it about five minutes and then got up and told her, “Please use headphones. Nobody wants to hear your Instagram stories.”
The noise stopped.
All good, right?
Five minutes later (she must have been stewing about it for a few minutes), she turned her head and looked over into my seat.
Woman: “Was that you who told me to use headphones?”
Me: “Yes”
Woman: “Mind your own business. I’ll do what I want. F*ck you!”
Me: “Turn around and stop bothering me.”
Woman: “F*ck you!”
I then made the “sashay away” sign with my hands and she turned around.
It was quiet for the rest of the flight.
I expected there might be some confrontation when we landed, but she got up, grabbed her bag, and said nothing to me.
CONCLUSION
While a flight attendant should handle rude passengers who do not use headphones, sometimes you have to do it yourself. In the past, I would have just complained about it on the blog. Not anymore, though. I won’t tolerate rude people who cannot be bothered to use headphones. If we all did not tolerate it, it would not happen.
Honestly, you should have just gotten a FA involved. Nothing good can come from you scolding her. That’s what the FA’s are for.
I’m not saying you were wrong, fwiw. Just saying that escalations usually result from situations like this.
He DID ask the FA but the FA didn’t do much. So what else is he going to do? Sometimes if the FA doesn’t do anything you have to take it upon yourself to do something.
It’s better to press it with the FA than escalate and end up on a NFL.
Yeah I think Brandon’s right. I’m not in a position to police passengers, rude as the lady may be. If she doesn’t respond to a polite request from me I don’t have the ability to escalate that, the FA does. If I screw up, or the lady claims I did something I didn’t, I’m hosed and at the mercy of witnesses. My best options if she doesn’t respond are either escalate with a FA or choose to ignore.
How can you write “nothing good can come” when something good clearly came -she got quiet.
Could have gone worse of course, but worked well this ti.e
You’re right. It did. However, many times it won’t. Then, what happens when they make a scene and they end up diverting because of the scene. Heck, half the blog is people creating a scene. But you are correct. I did chose the wrong words.
Brandon- you don’t accept rude behavior because of fear of escalation. That is exactly the point. So many try to appease which is why people become more bold and act in inappropriate ways
Plus as a fellow passenger you can be direct and honest without fear of repercussions from an employer. The employee has to be much more delicate when it comes to their approach.
But..but..he got to write about it!?
Good for you! The number of idiots who refuse to use headphones in public spaces – particularly in airlne clubs and on board planes – is simply astounding. I experienced several idiot passengers not using headphones in the last week.
Gotta love the Russian mastery of charm and social graces.
Russia: A nation of liars, cheats, mafia thugs, and complete scumbags. It seems to be in their DNA. No wonder they get along so well with Trump. Fascists every one of them.
The world will be a much better place when every Russian city is reduced to a smoking crater. I look forward to that day.
Sounds like you are describing the current administration in the USA.
Rafael, why do you lust for Vladimir Putin’s penis?
“The world will be a much better place when every Russian city is reduced to a smoking crater. I look forward to that day.”
THE FACT THAT YOU ALLOW A COMMENT LIKE THIS TO STAND, ENCOURAGING WWIII AND SPEAKING ABOUT IT OPENLY, WHILE NOT ALLOWING LEGITIMATE COMMENTS SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE. MATTHEW, GO F*CK YOURSELF YOU IGNORANT, LITTLE PR*CK. I HAD YOU PEGGED A LONG, LONG, TIME AGO. GO F*CK YOURSELF.
What are you talking about? He’s free to express what he wants and you are free to disagree. For the record, I like Russia (not its leaders) and hope to return. I certianly don’t want war…
Russia: So very famous for its freedom of expression and tolerance for dissent – a beacon to the world!
Stay away from open windows, comrade! Also watch out for umbrellas and doorknobs smeared with chemical weapons, and teacups laced with polonium-210.
List of Recent Russian Assassinations:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Russian_assassinations
Hey, where’s Prigozhin? Such amazingly bad luck with aircraft!
Blahahahahaha….you’re an idiot. You seem to have forgotten that the US government (read: the alphabet agencies) is wayyyy up on the leader board for assassination’s…both domestic and international. Probably edging out Russia by a quite a bit.
Sounds like someone needs a pegging! Maybe it’ll relax you a little.
Truth hurts? The world WILL be better without any single ruSSian left in it. Preferably when they’re k*lled in a very painful and humiliating way. F*ck every single one of them, from 1 hour old toddlers to WWII vets.
@Bobo- I admit, you got me wasting my time responding to your ignorance. Since you think every Russian has the same beliefs, why does Russia have political prisoners. I suggest you read a book, How to be a dictator? It may shed some light on reality for you. Spoiler alert: dictators are often most fearful of their own people because countries actually don’t all have the same beliefs.
Take a deep breath and relax
Anyway, Jesus loves you!
…aaaannnd cue the politard comments. People like you are so warped with politics that you’d inject it into a thread about cooking sausages. Get a life.
I’ve done this more times than I can count. One time, a woman was having a really loud conversation seated in 1A (I was in 1B). She was discussing what different people should bring to a party for food. I kept chiming in and confusing the woman she was talking to…
Her: “Mary is bringing an apple pie.”
My comment: “Tell Mary to bring a cheesecake.”
Her: “Huh, you said apple.”
Me: “I changed my mind…tell her to bring a chocolate cake.”
The woman in 1A asked me if I minded butting out. I told her to take her call off of speaker phone. She refused, so I kept answering every question the other woman posed until she hung up.
Ok, this is hilarious.
Haha, Perfect!!
Nice one, Anthony!
Priceless, I’ve thought of this for years but never had the opportunity….Who said it -” if you can’t join them, confuse them “. (I think it was Harry Truman).
That’s what I do. It’s very effective.
There have been few very few times when I’ve had to make a polite request to such a jerk to please use their headphones in public. They usually apologize and comply. But in those situations where they seem offended that I was even present, I’ve refined a very effective tactic: I either join in the conversation and start cheerfully talking to the person on the other end of the call, or I run a continuing verbal commentary to the offending person about the subject of the conversation and my reactions to it, even to the point of giving them advice about what they should say next to the other person. The only way they can get me out of “their” space is to move, end the call, or switch to headphones. The beauty of this tactic is that you are “acting” in a supportive, friendly, and cooperative manner instead of being negative and confrontational. Overly friendly strangers can be almost as irritating as jerks.
I carry a couple of those extra freebie headphones/earbuds that Delta and United hand out. I drop one in their lap and say clearly you forgot yours so here’s some for free.
You just triggered a rant from me about how Apple killed the headphone jack after the iPhone 6 and Android soon followed suit for this “progress”. It’s as useful and essential as the power jack (and that’s gone away too for some phones). I get it that it makes the phone more waterproof but now most phones won’t work with standard “free” headsets passed out by the airlines. The standard headphone jack is like my wife: old but classic.
And I think that’s why some of this rudeness about using phones in speaker mode is becoming ubiquitous: Because they don’t have bluetooth headsets on hand or available so they just run in speaker mode.
That said, here’s another tactic that may defeat the speaker beasts:
For the Russian woman, Matt, ahem, I suggest you blast the following that are GUARANTEED to drive Russians insane (on youtube)
Baby Shark (Russian version). Blast it OVER and OVER and OVER again, in Russian. She will be begging for you to give her a mercy coup-de-gras in 5 minutes.
Teremok TV Traktor. One of my favorite songs, I use it to wake my daughter in the morning because she can’t stand it and will have to wake up to turn it off.
Kolobok (song compilation). over and over again. I love it. Again, my child will do ANYTHING to make me make it stop.
Interesting how people are removed from flights for way less than this. FaceTime call while in the air is forbidden so she should have been reprimanded by the FA immediately. As for her attitude, well she was lucky it happened in America. That language would not go well in other places.
I will be blunt, you should have minded your own business!
Ah I was waiting for someone to say this. Obviously a U.S. person who thinks everyone can do whatever they want regardless of others. You, my friend are the reason most of the world hates us. You should act as part of society, not an entitled jerk.
Well said, thank you.
The “Freedom Caucus” in action.
It is my business when I can hear it…
Gene has AIDS.
It’s become rampant. While on a treadmill recently in Chicago an Indian guest was also running and blaring Bollywood whatever it is. I asked her to please use headphones and she went off on me. I explained politely that if 10 people all come in a small gym and use their phones to watch whatever can you imagine the chaos? She stormed out cursing me. The non headphone crowd is rather angry. Nevertheless, problem solved.
Should have done what I do to telemarketing callers that are probably from India. I tell them Mother Theresa was a whore, Gandhi was a child molester and Union Carbide did a public service in Bhopal.
If they still don’t hang up I ask them why they bathe their children in rivers where they sh#t. That usually does it.
Damn you really have no soul.
Compared to people who would steal you credit card number under false pretenses? Yea, I’m the good guy.
Sad you can’t see that. Good vs evil.
Ignorance ain’t bliss, dude.
Mother Theresa was European. She was a European immigrant to India.
Teresa.
LMAO
Haha! The non headphone crowds usually become less angry after being checked and start wearing them.
They thought the world revolved around them
She was right.
@AndyS and if I said she was a Jew or Ukranian you should have said, “Burn her at the stake.”
Pathetic.
People using their phones on speaker with no regard for the impact they’re having on those around them is out of control. I’m glad you said something to her and that it worked. I use noise cancelling headphones doing my part to prevent the personal annoyance I feel from it, but that doesn’t always work. I wish the FA’s would take a harder line to ensure that other passengers are not disturbed by rule breakers. Passengers doing it for themselves with each other is risky business.
Good for you. She sounds extremely rude.
I applaud you for speaking up, also want to warn you that all that women had to say is “that man threatened me” or I feel unsafe with that man near me” and you could have the police waiting for you when you land or even be banned from flying on that airline in the future. I have personally found that a dispute between a man and I woman in public or private can become quite bad for the man if the woman escalates the conflict and pretends she has been victimized. It is so much easier for a women to pretend to be a victim and be believed than it is for a man. I never respond to a dispute with an unknown woman and remove myself from the situation, but I know it is difficult to do on an airplane. I always carry earplugs with me when flying. For anyone who might be critical of my comments, this is not an attack on all women, but advice from my experiences with unethical women.
Maybe the FA was correct.
Maybe AlyssaH is a retard? Think so
The Russian escort needed the zip-tie/duct tape on the mouth response. Nobody should be forced to listen to the oligarch’s little slots.
The woman sounds obnoxious regardless of her background. Also, it’s not necessarily the case that the woman is even Russian nor even necessarily a partner to a Russian oligarch. Of the native-level Russian-speakers whom I’ve encountered at ORD, DCA/IAD and in California, many are not even Russian.
There are plenty of Russian-speakers around various major US cities who have been high-achievers in American educational institutions and in our financial services and tech industries. That many can fly in premium cabins on American Airlines is whatever it is — just as it is when anyone here is flying in the premium cabins on American Airlines.
It’s sort of amusing to hear that people think of Russians far from Russia as being obnoxiously loud when that is often also the perception of Americans, Brits, Italians, Indians and others in various parts of the world. Travelers the world over tend to be generally less considerate toward others than they used to be before the Crackberry addiction got even more out of hand with a democratization that has come with ubiquitous smartphone devices from kindergarten to the funeral homes.
Why is it always the Russians that have no manners. You can always tell them. They dress in laughable attire and think they are stylish. They are loud, rude, unfriendly and arrogant. And whenever they talk to each other, it sounds like they are always upset and angry. Maybe it’s just the sound of their language. I say deport everyone of them back home. They will always tell you that Mother Russia is much much better than anything in the western world yet they all want to love in the West.
P.s. I am sure there are nice Russians too, you just don’t ever encounter them in the Western world.
I don’t blame you for asking her to stop her obnoxious behavior. Why do people think everyone wants to hear their conversations or the audio from scrolling social media? I have two friends that consistently do this and I ask them to take it off speaker when they’re in my car, my home or in a place of business with me. Perhaps talking to the purser would have been the next step when the FA did nothing?
Look up Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where David does a fake phone call because the guy at the next table over in the restaurant is on the phone really loud even though on head phones. Hilarious.
I confronted this Indian guy in AC LAX to YYZ also blasting bhangra full blast as none of the AC Flight attendants had cojones to do it. I used the same lingo as you Matt.
Guy looked at me and said typical white Canadian racist “eh”? (Even though am half white)
So because I ask him to put headphones on he spins it into some racial thing?
He then blurbed about indians taking over Canada blablabla and how him and his buddies rule real estate.
Seriously bro IDGAF at this point just shut the F up.
It quieted down right after.
I wouldn’t have confronted her at all. I would have asked for the purser or lead flight attendant. I had to do that recently when a passenger violated Delta’s dog policy by taking the dog out of the carrier and putting it on the empty seat next to her.
The problem is that Delta won’t publish a rule that says headphones are required for use of any electronic device because they say we have to be sensitive to hidden disabilities which may make it difficult to use headphones. You as a special metal would be able to get away with reprimanding a passenger. We on the other hand could have to address an ADA complaint that ends up in our record forever because we don’t have a union and our records are never wiped. Complain to corporate and tell them we need a published rule we can refer passengers to. The company doesn’t listen to us.
There should definitely be a company airline PA flight attendants can play saying the use of headphones are required. There should also be a note in the movie/media/wifi insert that are in the seat back pockets that headphones are required in bold lettering .
This
Unfortunately that’s what we have to deal with when we fly, Other people. And flight attendants are not psychologists. And some airlines are trying to ban the private airline JSX which will make our flying even more miserable.
Matthew, we strongly disagree on politics, but on this you have my 10000% support. I cannot stand when people watch things or speak on the phone without headphones in public spaces (particularly trains and cars). It is unbelievably rude. Well done for standing your ground.
I’m curious what you think we disagree on. I am very openly Christian, but while I do delve into politics, I’m not exactly transparent on my own political views.
The light attendants need to address it, if they don’t they are not doing their jobs. Although it is tempting to confront the passenger who is doing this (or the parent of the child who absolutely must have their tablet blaring) the point of the matter is that you are already dealing with someone who has a flagrant disregard for the rules and their fellow passengers. Airlines need to make sure their flight attendants deal with these sorts of things and there needs to be a way to escalate it if they don’t. This also happens in lounges in the airports.
I’m glad that situation ended favorably for your fellow passengers and you, despite the profane Facetimer’s rudeness, the flight attendant’s ineffectuality, and your risky gambit which – as others noted – could have ended badly for you had “Мисс Facetime” reacted differently.
BTW, the woman speaking Russian is no “lady,” and the flight attendant is not a “girl.”
The sense of entitlement people have when it comes to phone calls on speaker or facetime on speaker is just crazy! I was at the gym, on the treadmill with my earbuds in. A young female comes up next to me and places her phone on the stand and starts music playing. Before I could ask that she use earbuds she goes off and uses F-bombs at me and turns up the music louder and points the speakers right at me. Continued to talk (yell) at me about doing what she wanted to and that I should also mind my own business and not bother her. The people around us stopped what they were doing and looked at us. I decided not to give her any more airtime and left. I then quit that gym.
Is this what our society has become? What happened to being polite and considerate?
Kudos to you for reamaning patient. I would have been so tempted to take her phone and smash it.
Oh – I considered throwing that phone across the gym and then smashing it with a weight. It was really tempting!
WELL DONE Matthew. Shame on the flight attendants for not doing anything about this behaviour.
I’m always sorry when I accidentally spill my drink in an appropriate place when something like this occurs, oops. Tactic works every time.