What would it take to get you to intervene when a creep hassles another passenger, especially a female teenager?
Joanna Chiu, bureau chief for the Toronto Star, witnessed something quite dismaying on a recent late-night domestic flight in Canada. She shared about it on Twitter, as the events unfolded:
Thread about airplane creeps: I’m on a plane from a late-evening stopover from and was very tired and had a row to myself to sleep but couldn’t avoid noticing what was going on in the row behind me.
— Joanna Chiu (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
An older man struck up a conversation with a teenage girl:
A man appearing in his late thirties was obviously delighted to be seated next to a teenager separated from the rest of her family. He started off by asking about her career plans and laughed when she said she wanted to be CEO and kept giving her ridiculous advice.
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
She graciosuly engaged him:
She was friendly and he seemed to take that as a welcome cue to get very familiar and started teasing her and kept saying that he wanted to take her out to eat, which she was ignoring. At this point I had to stay awake in case anything went further than that.
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
But the conversation drifted south and he asked her for a “dirty” photo:
It did, and as soon as he asked for a “dirty” photo while leaning close to her I turned around and rage-whispered exactly what I thought of that and he didn’t say anything back and went off to use the washroom.
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
When the man excused himself to use the lavatory, two female bystanders quickly alerted flight attendants:
Another woman seated behind him was listening and monitoring too and while the man was gone she let the teen know that she had the right to change seats and that she was just behind her if she needed any help. I went to get a flight attendant and informed her of what was going on
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
When the man returned, he was asked to move. This agitated him and he began swearing:
They checked other witness accounts and the head of the flight service (a woman) asked the man to move. He resisted then started swearing at me and asked to talk to the boss and the head flight attendant said “I’m the boss, this is really serious and we could land the plane.”
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
Chiu was concerned that no men voluntary stepped up to help the young woman:
He moved. The attendants checked in with the young woman and wrote up a report. They handled the situation well as far as I could tell, and it’s good to know other adult women passengers on the plane were paying attention and taking action while trying not to embarrass the teen.
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
But none of the male passengers seemed to show they noticed what was going on. Maybe fellow women are more likely to pick up on warning signs early on in the conversation because we used to be teenage girls too?
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
She would not identify the airline, but included a photo of a thank you card FAs wrote her (and the victim):
I don’t want to say name of airline because journalists have to be careful not to make endorsements but just want to say that this Canadian airline crew handled the situation so well. Workplaces, schools, sports teams etc. can take note. They even gave me and other woman a card. pic.twitter.com/6irPimuRZb
— Joanna Chiu 趙淇欣 (@joannachiu) March 25, 2019
My Thoughts
This thing happens all the time. I’ve seen it, it has happened to my wife, and it is disgusting. I’m very thankful that Chiu and another female passenger were there to protect this passenger. I’ve witnessed this sort of thing in the past and just rolled my eyes. No more. If I can see that a woman is uncomfortable, I will make it a point to speak up. Even if I am wrong and end up embarrassing myself, better that than not speaking up. The man crossed a line and deserves precisely the scorn that he has roundly received.
CONCLUSION
There is no inherent problem with an older man talking to a younger woman (18+)…or flirting with her…or dating her…or marrying her. But we, as the traveling public, should look out for vulnerable passengers (male and female, but most often female) and be ready to help. There are too many creeps out there to do otherwise. To my male readers, we need to do a better job of being vigilant. And if we have daughters, we need to teach them that politeness is no longer necessary when someone acts like a pig.
I agree. Some time ago I felt literally harrased by an elderly lady, I assume she was a bit drunk. In the beginning she seemed just nice, than she started flirting. And even touching me, ok just on the should and legs but that was already to much. I am a young married muslim man and I would never flirt with another woman. I asked the FAs for help. I got another seat. I do not know how young that girl was, I assume she was under age, otherwise the neigbors would not have been so interested since she would have been able to handle this.
Gross. Thank goodness there were lots of women around and women crew to take it seriously. I can’t really get into why the men didn’t do anything because it never says explicitly that men were within earshot. Chiu was in the row ahead by herself and we know there was the woman behind. Maybe there was a man in that row too, but it’s unclear ftom the tweets.
Regardless,… yes. Men should step forward. Young women and men don’t have enough real life experience yet to get themselves out of threatening situations like this, or to keep them from happening and to he able to shut them down right from the start. Better speak up and be wrong by stepping in and saying something than to be wondering “what if.”
Since the topic is “see something, say something” a number of years ago I flew a major US airline’s 777 from the US to LHR. As a private pilot, I know enough to recognize a potential issue. I saw the exiting pilots at the top of the jetway and told them that the spoilers were in the deployed position. At first, they were confused since that is not standard operating procedure so they probably thought I was mistaken, if well-intentioned. Then they went around to get a view. The result was that one pilot literally jogged back to the plane. Hopefully, that missed checklist item was never missed again.
Very interesting!
https://www.hrw.org/news/2019/03/27/us-massachusetts-should-end-child-marriage-0
I will leave this here. And Massachusetts is a progressive state. What’s going on Alabama?
“There is no inherent problem with an older man talking to a younger girl”
Sorry, Matthew, but I have to call you out on this. “Girl” implies someone who is prepubescent, like “boy”. In this context you mean “woman”. I agree with the thrust of your post, but the casual use of diminutive language here shows how oblivious men can be to the use of language and the way that implies diminishment of women. I know that’s not your intent, quite the opposite, but we all have blind spots, myself included,
Someone is very imaginative with the word “talking”. See a physician….
Read the rest of the original sentence, containing the verbs flirting, dating and marrying. Sure, a man can talk to a girl. No harm. A man cannot flirt with, date or marry a girl. The point here was the article used the word “girl” where “woman” was more appropriate and doubtless intended.
Great article. Glad you raised attention on this.
I also agree that guys should do more in such situations, but I also have to admit that men are not really great in handling situations like that. I’ve witnessed similar incidents before, and every times when men stepped up, it almost always ended in a fight. In Chiu’s case, that man might be ashamed of escalating the situation further because he’s facing a woman (no diminutive view towards the ladies here, but the brains of men like that guy do work like that). Had Chiu be a man, that guy’s testosterone might propel him into engaging Chiu physically, and during a flight, they would probably cause an emergency landing.
Figures she blames other men on the plane for not noticing, when she has already indicated that only women were seated around that passenger. That should tell you what her bias is and where she is coming from with this post.
You missed this tweet, which Gary Leff linked to in his post about the incident:
https://twitter.com/joannachiu/status/1110093774271610885
The guy is an awful creep, but it seems Ms. Chiu stepped over the line from white knight (dame?) to #metoo vigilante.
Probably. Not a nice threat.