There was no ethical dilemma: a man was fully justified in not giving up his exit row seat on a 14-hour flight from Asia so a pregnant woman could sit next to her husband.
Cardinal Rule On An Airplane: Don’t Ask People To Move To An Inferior Seat. Ever.
On reddit, a man wonders whether he was reasonable in refusing to give up his exit row window seat so a man could sit next to his wife on a 14-hour transpacific flight. After boarding, a flight attendant invited him to move up to an open window exit row seat, which he happily accepted.
I moved there, window seat with a 20-ish dude already settled. I just quickly settled down also, just the moment I picked up my headphone for some iPad entertainment, window seat guy suddenly smiled to me, “Hi excuse me, my wife sitting far behind is pregnant now, she’s not very comfortable with the narrow seat, do you mind switch seat with her ?”
It is not clear why this man was moved up instead of the man’s wife…but I liked the man’s response:
Maybe I should check her seat behind but my brain just instantly responded ” oh but you have a bigger seat, why don’t you switch with hers ?” I swear that’s my pure curiosity as just why, dude, you only paid yourself for a premium seat and not wife together?!!
That’s precisely the question I would ask. Why don’t you move if you want your wife to have a better seat? Why are you separated in the first place?
Of course I get it, though. You grab one seat and then try to grab another. It never hurts to ask, right? And best-case scenario at least one of you gets to enjoy more legroom on a 14-hour flight.
But I don’t like that approach. To even ask someone to accept an inferior seat for a better one is unreasonable pressure. Notice that this man did not go back to where his wife was sitting and ask the person next to her to switch seats. It rarely works that way…
But the husband did the right thing:
Anyway his face instantly sunk after I said that, and for fact check I slept only 3 or 4 hours the night of flight or even the whole week in Asia there, so ended up instantly asleep with my headphones on. I woke up 3 or 4 hours later found out pregnant wife was next to me, but there was no story after, we just had 0 communication which was perfect.
I have no idea if this story is real or written by an AI bot. But the reality of this story does not undermine the notion that it is rude to ask a seatmate to switch from a superior seat to an inferior seat. Period.
As View From The Wing wonders, if being pregnant imposes a duty on anyone, surely it imposes a duty on the husband before other passengers. As Gary Leff suggests, perhaps the smartest strategy of all is to offer money if the seat swap is from a superior to an inferior seat.
And of course not all pregnant woman are about to burst. How pregnant was she? Third trimester or so recently pregnant that she could still get an abortion in Texas?
CONCLUSION
Once again, there was no ethical dilemma: a man should not have even been asked to give up his exit row seat on a 14-hour flight from Asia so a pregnant woman could sit next to her husband. Instead, the husband should have offered his superior seat to the passenger next to his wife if the two had to sit together. In the end, the husband gave up his seat so his wife could sit there. Good for him. But the seatmate should never have been asked in the first place.
Classic expecting another passenger to make up for your own lack of planning. Perhaps the gentleman in the exit row could have simply traded seats with his wife? Many times, I have been upgraded, but my wife has not. I always give her the upgrade and take her seat in the back.
Can a pregnant woman even be eligible to sit in an exit row? I mean, depending on her condition she might not be fit to operate an exit door under emergency. Just curious.
She might even be unable to get out of the opening… lol.
Regarding your question: That’s why the cabin crew is supposed to ask wheter you are able to and comfortable to sit at an exit.
But also depends on the type of exit, e.g. whether it’s an actual emergency exist (like over wing) or a usual exit door.
Look I have asked the question many times whilst briefing exit row customers. They say yes even though I know darned well they couldn’t physically lift that 30 pound plus door…
If real, the seat wouldn’t necessarily be wider as suggested. On a 14 hour flight no one should expect you to move. It is not the crosstown bus where someone may make a short accommodation for a pregnant wife.
@Maryland … Yep … I assume it was a non-stop to Singapore , and seats can definitely be pre-selected on SQ .
On a flight from Switzerland to Chicago my husband was upgraded to first class and I was not . My husband politely told the flight attendant that he would like to sit with me so he truly appreciated the upgrade but please offer this upgrade to another passenger. 10 minutes later she came back and said she had upgraded us both to first class in seats next to each other. My husband is very much a gentleman. We were shocked and thrilled .
@GailB … +1 .
Good for you! If this had happened to me, however, my wife would have said (I can hear this in her voice) “What?!?! Are you stupid? I can live without you for 10 hours. Don’t waste a first class seat!”
Exit row seats are often narrower because the tray table is in the armrest…
I wonder if the pregnant women could help others in case of an emergency. Wouldn’t those exit row seats only be allowed to those who can help in an emergency situation?
Yes, something about this seems a little “off” and it’s probably the seating of a pregnant woman in an exit row. The airlines are so conscious of safety these days – and thanks god for that – that allowing a pregnant woman to theoretically control access to an exit is a red flag to me.
The person who posted the story on reddit is a woman (if human), and apparently not a native English speaker. The language barrier may explain why some of the details seem off, though I think everyone is skeptical of any post on AITAH.
I think it’s okay to ask. I usually don’t mind and I don’t -need- extra space. But if I say no then my wishes should be respected.
That guy is not going to be married very long…
I was on a flight and a lady and child had tickets for the seats next to me. As she approached she smiled and asked if I would like to switch with her husband in 1st class. He was a business flyer and automatically got the upgrade. You bet I did! And I can understand that he wanted to sit with family. Best seat ever!