There’s a debate raging in our home about whether or not it’s ok to book ourselves (parents) in business class, but children in coach with an adult family member.
Are Different Cabins Problematic?
For the first time, we are having a debate in our house about whether it’s ok to book ourselves in business class and the kids in coach. In the past, we have always flown with our children in the same cabin with us and haven’t considered doing it any other way. It reminds me of a line in Home Alone:
“Don’t you feel like a heel flying first class with all the kids back in coach?” – Catherine O’Hara
“No, the kids are fine. The only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon and it wasn’t to France.” – John Heard
For the avoidance of doubt, the trip in question would include bringing along an adult family member to look after the children. We have moved to this method for business trips and it would be hard to go without bringing some support along with us.
It’s not for every trip, just one in specific. In fact, later this month we are traveling with everyone, including a relative, in the front of the plane for a trip to Europe.
We would never fly in a different cabin without the kids supervised and supported. We are too worried about what could happen with them out of our site for that duration of time. Maybe that makes us overly cautious, so be it. But if there is someone we trust with them, they have the supervision and support but it also feels a bit classless.
Then again, they don’t really need business class, especially our two-year-old son. We will struggle to keep him in his own seat on our upcoming flights as it is (he will prefer to crawl in with one of us.) And is there really a problem with us flying in the front and the kids in coach?
It’s Impossible To Find Award Space For Five
We have the points to pay for the flights and we have enough upgrades to clear us all from coach. We can’t find space in any coach cabin at the moment that will clear using upgrades at the time of booking. That leaves it up in the air and at risk that we don’t clear any or all of us, something we’d rather not do. If we don’t clear and we fly coach anyway, we might as well have used points to do so rather than cash so our upgrades in this instance are more or less useless.
The problem is that we can’t seem to find routes with guaranteed space for five seats, not even four seats in business class. Our route is to Asia, and we have found plenty of opportunity for us all to fly via Air India, but we’ve had that experience and choose not to repeat it.
We have tried every trick in the book (and some that aren’t in the book), using points from three of the major credit card currencies, and another two airlines with which we have a significant balance. I understand why we can’t find the space – though the rumors of reduced business, governmental, and leisure travel seem to be exaggerated based on the load factors we are finding.
Still, I have conducted no less than 500 searches with a variety of departure points including outside the United States, a number of destinations in Asia (from which we can position to our destination with myriad options), across every week for an entire quarter of the year. There’s nothing for all of us (outside of Air India) but there are options if we split the cabin selection amongst our party.
Not Exactly Slumming It
To be clear, we would still put the kids and our accompanying traveler in Premium Economy which isn’t exactly slumming it. For that, we can find the arrangement that works. To my daughter’s credit, who has been flying in the front of the plane her entire life and just twice has flown trans-continental flights (out of dozens) in coach – she was more than willing to fly in the back of the plane if it meant that we would get back to Asia.
It’s us and our consciences that are struggling. It feels wrong yet it probably isn’t. I wouldn’t have thought twice about my parents flying in business or first class while my brother and I were in the back of the plane. We would have just been happy to be flying somewhere, much like John Heard in Home Alone.
Conclusion
Perhaps other families struggle with the same decision we are making. We lived in Asia for a time and though we used to return at least once if not twice a year, since the pandemic we haven’t been back. We would love to go but it doesn’t look like an award for five is in the cards. We remain torn on whether a split cabin option is the right decision.
What do you think?
Kids don’t need the legroom. They can absolutely sit in coach. And if they are big enough to behave themselves, then they don’t need a babysitter. You can just go back and check on them a couple of times. Don’t feel guilty.
This is the way. Any kid over age 10 doesn’t need an adult next to them, they can independently sit in back. People overthink this… enjoy the upgrade, the kids are fine.
Delta won’t let kids under 15 fly in a different cabin from parents. I tried.
(Although the writer is planning to have an adult family member with his kids in economy.)
Yeah this is simple. split cabin, just rotate who is with the kids in back. There should be enough legs and a return trip that a rotation is easy too.
Doesn’t have to be completely fair, i.e. you are paying for additional adult to watch kid in back so maybe they only get the short connection. Still right thing to do and kids will appreciate that you went back there for part of the journey.
Only a total selfish a##hole would do this. I can’t imagine it’s even a consideration unless there is a major handicap involved that required it.
I would say 99%+ of the public would general public would agree with me, but the other 1% definitely hangs out here so differing opinions are upcoming.
Kids have different needs from adults and having a family member as a sitter is a blessing you can have faith in. At home would you refuse to attend an event knowing you have a capable sitter watching your children? Family life doesn’t mean being joined at the hip at every moment. It can be a normalizing experience for the children to navigate economy no matter who you are.
I grew up in both sides of the Atlantic and this is how I traveled with my parents. Totally fine.
Nothing would happen to the kids.
This is like worrying about kids playing outside
As for them flying business class, make them earn it. If they get straight As, then fly then in J
That “making them earn it” is a possible way people become sex workers!
If the kid is mature enough to be an UM, then maybe.
We approach these situations differently and maybe one of our options works for you too:
1) If there are not enough award seats, we buy the additional tickets (if the price is right). For example on an upcoming trip my wife and I are on award tickets. The kid and the grand parents on revenue tickets. We try to organize it in a way that those who need the status miles, will be on the revenue tickets – I am lucky that most of our extended family is now into our „hobby“.
2) My wife and I sometimes used to simply use different flights when availability was poor (especially when it‘s red eyes where sleep is the main priority), i.e. one of us would fly TPE-AMS-NUE and one TPE-CDG-NUE. We plan to return to doing this when our kid is a little bit older and availability makes it necessary. In your case, maybe one flight with 3 award seats and another one with 2 award seats?
In countries where domestic help is more affordable, its quite common for the parents to sit in J while their full-time helper/nanny joins the vacation and minds the kids in Y.
It’s certainly not alright for parents to inflict their children on other economy passengers and sit in a different cabin on the aircraft, it’s bad enough having children mixed in with economy passengers anyway.
I would do what used to be done with smokers, star filling the cabin from the front with adults travelling without and from the rear for adults travelling with children. In these days of easily moveable cabin dividers, I would add a curtin between adults without and adults with children then adults without could enjoy travel in peace and quiet and those with children could inflict their offspring on others of like mind.
What could be better?
When Matthew was talking about fear of an AA devaluation the other day, the reality is, what you’re facing is the stealth devaluation of all major loyalty programs – the fact that it’s impossible to find the number of award seats you need when you need them without having to fork over SkyPesos-level miles to do so. Sadly, you probably just need to give up on trying to get 5 J seats together.
The three of us recently flew to India and back, and we basically did what Max did. We used a combination of points and revenue tickets to buy down the cost of J for the entire trip down to a little more than we would have paid in cash for Y. It took more points than I would have preferred, even for three, but still, I thought it was a reasonable compromise. If even that doesn’t work, no, I don’t think you need to feel guilty about sitting up front while the kids sit in PE. I would, however, offer to take turns with the chaperone you’re bringing along.
I don’t see the issue with it. They’ll be supervised and cared for, and you’ll still be accessible if truly needed. Parents and kids consume different products and experiences all the time, this is just one more example, and a harmless one at that
Not for nothing, your daughter is old enough to voice her needs and weigh in on this, and she told you she’s fine with the arrangement. I’d take her judgment at face value
If you are just going to sit there and feel guilty about it, why even entertain the question (other than it makes good comment fodder). Your personal description literally says “He focuses on using miles and points to provide a premium experience for his wife and daughter.” Do I think the kids will care? No. Does the adult relative care? Probably not. But if you do, then just suck it up in economy and enjoy your time in Asia.
I always booked my daughter in the same cabin as me, business or first for overseas flights, but things were easier back then. Now she’s an adult and she will book herself in economy to get where she wants to go, including Asia, in order to save money or points which leads me to believe that she would have been fine traveling in economy on long haul flights when younger so long as there was an adult with her. Based on my experience, I would try to get business for everyone, but it not immediately possible, booking the kids and chaperone in premium economy should not be a problem. I would set alerts and look to move them to business if possible, but if not, they’ll be fine in PE so long as they are old enough to not throw tantrums.
We do what others have suggested– blend revenue and awards.
If I were to break us up in terms of cabins, I would sit in economy and put my wife and kids in J. I’m used to going without much sleep and food, and I’m not a picky eater, but they are not. My kids sleep very well in J. This can make a huge difference in being able to enjoy our first day on a vacation.
I have discovered some tricks that don’t get much press in order to get award flights for our family of four, but it does require planning a long time in advance- and even then it only sometimes works.
For international travel to far off lands, I carefully plan out the routing to try to avoid situations where our party might get broken up, and set up the ticketing so that if we do get broken up there will still be a reasonable situation in terms of children and adults.
We haven’t been burned yet with a bad experience, but the possibility exists. I use tools like expertflyer to plan out backup itineraries in the week or two leading up to the trip.
I’d not hesitate doing it. Kids don’t need better than PE.
Why would you even have to “ask permission” of your readers when you’ve already got everything under control with another adult sitting with the children in coach ? This is what happens when parents are enslaved to pleasing only their children, allowing them (the children) to be in control of a situation. Good grief, can you detach for a few hours instead of this hovering, smothering and worrying that your kids will somehow come out social misfits if you all don’t sit together clinging to one another ???
Short answer, yea.
Long answer, yes this is absolutely fine. They’ll survive. You’re on the same aircraft. Kids fly unaccompanied all the time. No harm will come to them.
I probably would not book in separate cabins. I think of it along the lines of food, I would not give my child a hot dog while I ate steak.
However, we have had this discussion as it relates to our son taking a friend along. We told him if a friend is invited, they (son and friend, late teens)would fly economy because there is limits to our hospitality budget.
I’d eat steak while my kids ate hot dogs. Because my kids (well actually grandkids) would rather have hot dogs than steak.
Do unto others should mean taking the others’ preferences into account.
If the kids don’t care about being in economy you shouldn’t sweat them being in economy either.
When I was about 12, my folks started sitting in First and my older brother and I were in Coach and LOVED it !. To be on our own for several hours drinking 7-Up and just being trusted and “independent ” YES ! My parents enjoyed time by themselves as well (and a couple of smart Martinis LOL ).
Go for it only when you are comfortable that your kids are going to be comfortable.
Once our kids were old enough to be by themselves in a separate cabin (for us that was 13yo) we have been doing this all the time. I usually book a paid business class for me and my wife and the two kids fly on coach using miles. We actually just finished a summer vacation in Europe and did just that. Kids like to watch movies, don’t care about the food (not that I care either) and they don’t mind the lack of legroom. In my case, flying business class is about a lie flat seat where I can better manage my lower back and knees pain. I could not care less about the food, drinks, etc…
Personally I would not do it. If anything scary happened on the plane I’d want to be right next to my kids. I can’t imagine how terrified they’d be and to be without me, I just could not risk it.
When I was a kid my parents took separate planes every where they went. Just to make sure we’d have 1 parent.
This is beyond ridiculous. Did your parents always take separate cars too? Death via car accident is actually a significant risk.
Honestly, I don’t think you need anyone’s affirmation, it what you guys feel in your hearts. Our personal concern would be when something goes wrong in the flight….seems like more than normal number of reports of turbulence from climate change and other aircraft incidents–if something out of the ordinary does happen, are you guys going to feel comfortable being in a different cabin without direct ability to talk with or console your kids? That would be the determining factor for us.
Just fly economy or premium economy as a group. You’re talking about half a day of pain that you’ve already invested 19s of hours of time jn. If your kids are older fine. But you’re talking about a 2yo overnight who really needs a parent with them. Almost the worst age for flying. Or leave 2yo at home with the extra adult. Will enjoy trip much more.
IMO you are way overthinking this. What purpose is there for flying children in Business Class? As long as they are mature enough to be on their own and they are being supervised by an adult you trust. It’s called Business Class for a reason, and I don’t believe having children in it should enter the equation unless it must.
I just returned from a cross country trip and was surrounded by kids in Business Class and it drove me crazy. They were up and down every few minutes and they were constantly going to see their parents (one in BC and one in coach). I’m not paying a premium to sit around a bunch of children, I’m paying to get away from that chaos.
Quit being so selfish, sit with your kids. Interestingly, as a previous commenter mentioned, my family split up onto 2 aircraft, my mom and I on one and my 2 sisters and my dad on another. Our family business since 1956, still going strong, is in aircraft charter. We average over 70 aircraft on the certificate, we know only too well what can happen when flying! Might as well keep half the family alive, unless of course we ran into each other! We normally landed at our destination about 20 minutes apart.
If they can behave? It’s fine. But we all know that a 2 year old can’t.
For us, it’s family all together. We could never fly business and leave the kids in coach. We will travel in coach if we cannot afford business class. We have used points and upgraded to economy plus on some flights. Since flying on United alone, I have gold status, so all our economy tickets are automatically upgraded to economy plus at booking.
The question is how old the kids need to be to fly in a separate cabin …. people treat the 30 something living with them still as a kid and would probably never sit them into a separate cabin.
One answer is practical (your 2yo needs supervision) vs perceived guilt (putting the 16yo in the back of the bus)