We know that middle seat passengers have a claim to both armrests, but would you actually fight for them?
Earlier this week I booked a very last-minute ticket to fly from Los Angeles to Houston. I ended up with a middle seat in the exit row. It is rare that I find myself in a middle seat and I could tell the two men sitting in the window and aisle seats of my row were not happy to have an “intruder” in the middle.
I think of myself as a fairly assertive person when it comes to exercising rights and privileges, but when both seatmates laid claim to “my” center armrests, I did nothing.
It’s not like I’m timid…a guy in the row in front of me was playing music on his mobile phone without headphones and I quickly tapped him on the shoulder and instructed him (not requested) to use headphones.
So what kept me from claiming the armrests?
It wasn’t a desire to avoid confrontation…both seatmates were actually nice guys. It also wasn’t because the flight was less than three hours…I really could have used the armrest since I was working the entire flight.
What it comes down to is that I really don’t believe the passenger in the middle is entitled to both armrests.
It’s like the whole seat recline debate. Some insist that it is rude for a passenger to recline her seat, especially during meal service. While I agree that it is nice etiquette to leave the seat up during meals, I wholeheartedly reject that a customer can be barred from reclining her seat at any point in the flight other than takeoff and landing. Sometimes, you just want to go right to sleep after takeoff and skip food and drink. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Similarly, I believe that middle seat armrests are claimed on a first-come, first-served basis. They do straddle both seat after all…
CONCLUSION
When I fly in an aisle or window seat, I do always leave the center armrest for a middle seat passenger. I think it is a nice thing to do. But I just don’t see a right to armrests, no matter what etiquette experts may say.
Am I off base here?
Not off base. It’s usually an awkward situation no matter what. Should the middle-seater get both armrests just because they have a terrible middle seat? Should I get to use the armrest if they are not using it? Can I use the back part of the armrest if my elbows fit there and we can share it? Wow this is a full flight and I wish this person sat in that other row where the middle seat is open (hah!). To set the tone for the flight if I have a middle-seater next to me, after a greeting, I simply tell him/her to feel free to use the armrest between us, as I have this other one here. There is usually an immediate brightness and appreciation response to that and the awkwardness disappears (and a more friendly atmosphere is created which helps if I want to get up and out from the window seat later). If I am the middle-seater, I try to suss out whether my neighbors mind if I use the armrest or whether it becomes shared territory back and forth throughout the flight. Some neighbors lay claim to the armrest right away and never give it up, in which case, like you experienced, I would just not bother bringing it up. It’s not worth the possible negative atmosphere for the flight duration, and the times I’m in a middle seat (travelling by myself) are really few and far between compared to most people, so it’s a minor inconvenience at best. Easier to not have expectations and just be courteous.
I always let the middle seater have the arm rest. That said, I don’t appreciate when those elbows intrude into my seat area.
Before there’s a war, negotiate. Perhaps, tell the woman/man on your left if they can have the armrest the first half of the flight and you want it the second half. Alternatively, if they are tall, they can get the forward part of the armrest while you get the back part, enough for a little part of elbow.
Of course, they could be devious and refuse to give up the armrest during the second half of the flight.
A similar arrangement might be made with the woman/man on your right except that you get the armrest the first half.
If the middle seat were a little higher, there could be a second level armrest. Anyone thought of that? Zodiac, BE Aerospace, Recaro?????
Lufthansa’s Premium Economy product has a double armrest:
https://liveandletsfly.boardingarea.com/2017/06/24/lufthansa-a380-premium-economy-review/
I’ve always thought of the arm rest as more of a personal space divider and I don’t really use them unless I’m trying to lean away from a seatmate eg use the right armrest to lean outward.
So in general I don’t mind if I don’t get an armrest and it’s partially because I’m a small person. There are times when someone takes up a lot of space (as in their elbow sticks over by a few inches) and I’ll politely ask if we can lift up the elbow rest so we can both feel like we have more space. That usually gets them to mind their footprint if they don’t want to take away the division (which is often the case). In any case, when you fly a lot, you kind of have to either stick to a set of rules or just learn to not be bothered; I tend to go with the latter.
As to their unhappiness of your intrusion, too damn bad. Otherwise, they could find another seat. Did they know each other or did you just happen on two separate unpleasant people?
Regarding the armrest itself, when my wife and I travel in economy, I almost always get the middle seat, so she can have the window. I certainly don’t think that there’s some god given right to either or both armrests just because you’re stuck in the middle. What I try to do is actually share both armrests, with myself taking the front or back portion while leaving the other part for my neighbor. In some ways, this is easier said than done, since I’m 6’5″ and 270, but if I can do it, so can normal sized people.
I think you did the right thing. While I cede the armrest when sitting in the window out of courtesy, if I’m in the middle, arguing over one (or even asking about it) just isn’t worth expending the energy, in my book.
Flying is a very stressful experience.
You know that from the moment you step into the city’s traffic jam.
Then comes the Checkin process.
Then, waiting long lines to go through security control.
Then you have to find your way through the crowds, to your boarding gate.
When you arrive at the gate you realize that there are no available seating even for the elders.
Then, after boarding the aircraft you arrive at a reduced legroom seating for a 12 hours flight.
20 years ago, the seating-pitch standard was 34”, today it is 31”.
Many situations on board, are caused by cramped quarters.
Reduced legroom seating is a very important issue.