Have you ever had a religious (or non-religious) seatmate who talked your ear off concerning issues of religion for several hours on a flight?
Late in the boarding process on my Ukraine International Airlines flight from Kiev to New York last week, a Haredi Jewish gentleman entered the aircraft and took a seat next to me. He greeted me and I greeted him back but that was the extent of conversation.
We took off, I ate, and fell asleep for seven hours. A FA gently woke me up over Maine (upon request) to begin the pre-arrival meal service about 90-minutes prior to landing. As I took pictures of my food, my seatmate asked me why.
I explained this blog and he then began telling me about his faith, without really any transition to the topic of religion. I listened for the next hour and a half. It is my understanding that there is no proselytizing in the Jewish faith, but this came close. Every time I attempted to interject my own thoughts on the issues he discussed (mostly Old Testament matters) he interrupted and was not clearly not interested in what I had to say.
Several years ago I traveled with my uncle and brother from Sydney to Los Angeles on United. Our upgrades to business had cleared in the lounge in SYD so we were unable to sit together, though were able to score three window seats in consecutive rows on the upper deck of the 747-400.
Onboard, I found my seatmate was a very well-educated, very-wealthy woman from Aspen, Colorado. I never initiate small talk but will usually engage and this woman began asking me questions. After she found out I had worked in the White House, she began to go on a rant about global warming, most Americans being scientifcally-illerate, and eventaully “the idiocy of most religion”. She claimed to be a recent convert to Buddhism and added–
I hope you don’t disagree with any of this. I have a PhD in biology and have studied all the world’s religions, you know. You don’t want to get into a debate with me.
No lady, I don’t. I don’t want to even talk to you.
Of course I did not say that and don’t think I ever gave her an indication of my religious or political leanings (other than working for the “wrong” administration as a 21-year-old just looking to build his resume). She didn’t care anyway. She just wanted to tell me hers.
Two real-life anecdotes from two very different people. One thing in common: talking but not listening.
The people who say all paths converge on the top of the mountain are rather presumptious — who has a view of the top of the mountain? Thus, I understand and can even appreciate when people are adamant about the exclusivity of their belief system and even want to share it with others.
What I am not okay with is anyone who is so arrogant that they will not even stop to have a conversation. I am also not okay with someone continuing to proselytize when told to stop, especially on an airplane where there is no escape.
Have you had a good or bad experience concerning religion discussion on an airplane? Please share your stories below.
Nothing says don’t talk to me more graciously than headphones…
I don’t know if gracious is the right word, but indeed — that is one quick way to end the conversation!
“If you are not willing to listen to my point of view after I have listened to yours and have a real conversation, then please leave me alone for the remainder of the flight.”
Done.
Or — in the interest of being more politically correct — put on some headphones and listen to something, Anything. Silence, even.
I would usually rather jam an ice pick in my ear than talk to my seatmate. Not that I’m not a social person, I just really enjoy spending that time on the plane doing my own thing. I have a pretty high paced, high stress job and sitting and watching a TV show on my tablet isn’t something i get to do that often.
As far as religious conversations, I try to avoid them at all cost. I think everyone should be free to practice whatever religion they want. The problem I have is when people discuss those beliefs, more times than not the conversations go the way you described in your post….people telling you why their religion is correct and not really giving merit to other views. Obviously these conversations don’t go that way 100% of the time, but I’m not risking it on a metal tube with no way off.
The only conversation I really want to have on a plane is with the flight attendant about when my next rum & coke is on its way! 🙂
I don’t discuss religion or politics with anyone I don’t know. Or at the very least, until I determine for sure that they’re like-minded. I’ve had one too many experiences with people telling me I’m going to a certain warm, toasty place because I’m a non-believer.
As a religious Jew myself, I must say that this person’s behavior is in no way shape or form representative of the way I, or anyone like me, would act. I would only discuss these issues ( or anything for that matter) if I observe a genuine interest from the other party. Please just dismiss this person as someone who obviously still needs to learn what his own religion teaches about decency.
Mo, I was genuinely interested. I did not initiate the conversation, but I would not have minded a conversation: instead, I was interrupted every time I tried speak.
I don’t think he meant any harm and in some sense, I admire his strong convictions, but he just did not care what I thought or had to say.
I guess I took it for granted that when one observes a genuine in the person with whom he’s conversing, he will want to see what their take is on the topic. One of the basic tenets of Judaism is basic decency. In Hebrew its ‘Derech Eretz’ or ‘way of the land.’ It even precedes the study or practice of other things. Clearly this person, by not engaging in a dialogue, and by showing disregard for the person he’s talking to, fails this.
Noise cancelling earbuds. Simple. I put them on the moment I sit down and don’t take out my earbuds until landing.
Any suggestion how to deal with person in seat A talking to person seat C when you are seat B. You offered to
swap seat so they can right next to each other and say no and carried on talking.
Kay, flatulence maybe? (I’m only being somewhat facetious).
I would actually ask a FA if it was bother you.
I agree with the headphones statement – I don’t want to talk to anyone about anything. I put my headphones on when we take off and remove them just before landing. Works great every time.
I keep headphones on at all times — even though I’m not listening to anything at all; in fact, I’ll usually have the electronic device shut off! I also close my eyes. Occasionally a really dense person will nonetheless tap my arm or try in some other way to engage me in conversation. I immediately cut the person off by saying, “I don’t wish to speak or be spoken to. I’m not feeling well.” Then I close my eyes again and refuse to engage with the person. He or she has the right to get angry about it, and I have the right not to care.