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Home » Humor » The Lady Who Tried to Steal My Seat…Thrice
Humor

The Lady Who Tried to Steal My Seat…Thrice

Matthew Klint Posted onJune 9, 2011 11 Comments

As is often the case when I am departing on a weekday from Frankfurt, I stay far longer than I should in my office and find myself making a mad dash to make my flight.

Yesterday was no different and my gate was all the way down in Terminal C, an unexplored section of Frankfurt International Airport for me and a long walk from the friendly confines of Terminal A.

The security screeners, usually really good, thought my noise cancelling headphones looked suspicious so they had to swab it for explosives. Naturally that always occurs when you are late for a flight and the guy doing the swabbing could not have been slower–a perfect candidate for the TSA.

I reached the empty gate area just as the final call for the flight reverberated down the departure hall. At this point I was still unsure whether to fly business or economy class. Business is always a treat, but I have trouble sleeping on angled lie-flat seats. When available, I prefer a row of economy seats to myself.

Although the aircraft was almost full, the agent located one empty row of three for me and told me it would be all mine during the flight. Onboard, though, I found a little old lady in my seat. Little old lady or not, I had work to do the next day and was counting on three seats so I could curl up and sleep.

Because the woman happened to be sitting in my assigned seat, I did not mind telling her that was in the wrong seat. With a frown on her face, but not a word, she made the walk of shame back to her seat.

Moments later, I saw her spring up and wedge into a vacant exit row seat (next to a passenger of size) in the front of the cabin. She must not have liked that because she was soon back at my row, extolling the comfort and legroom of her exit row seat (in broken English) and insisting that I trade with her so that I could have more legroom.

I smiled and shook my head, stating firmly that I would not be moving seats. Then she pulled the age card on me, stating that she was an old woman and needed to rest during the flight. I simply smiled and said “I am an old man and need to rest during the flight. I have work in the morning.” She got the message and returned back to her poached exit row seat.

I thought that would be the end of it, but this was one determined woman. After the meal service I got up to stretch my legs and use the lavatory. Lo and behold, when I returned there was someone in my seat, well seats actually–the woman had returned and was feigning sleep across the three seats with my blanket!

My first instinct was to hit the FA call button, but I figured the FAs might just let the lady stay in the window seat and rob me of a good night’s rest. So I gently nudged her. She ignored me. I tapped on her again and she sat up and yawned.

Remaining silent, I gave her the evil eye and shook my head. She got the picture and returned to her seat. And I got six hours of sleep.

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About Author

Matthew Klint

Matthew is an avid traveler who calls Los Angeles home. Each year he travels more than 200,000 miles by air and has visited more than 135 countries. Working both in the aviation industry and as a travel consultant, Matthew has been featured in major media outlets around the world and uses his Live and Let's Fly blog to share the latest news in the airline industry, commentary on frequent flyer programs, and detailed reports of his worldwide travel.

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11 Comments

  1. Gene Reply
    June 9, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    I flew on that beautiful machine — in First Class — last week. I’m doing it again in a few weeks, and I can’t wait! I’ve flown on four airlines’ A380s so far — Singapore business, Lufthansa first, AirFrance business, and Qantas first — and Lufthansa’s was my favorite. I expect that will change come next February, when I get to fly on Emirates’ A380 in first class from DXB to JFK!

  2. Darren Reply
    June 9, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    Wow, you’re getting worked from every angle by the ladies lately (ha!). Glad you stood your ground. The audacity of her to take your seats when you were in the lav… wow!

  3. Gary Leff Reply
    June 9, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    Clubes:
    1) Frankfurt departure
    2) C Concourse
    3) Airbus
    4) Long enough flight for 6 hours sleep after meal service

    So let’s see… the India flights probably leave from C terminal but as far as I can recall they’re all serviced by 747s (at least, BOM/DEL/BLR are). Actually CCU is an Airbus but it’s a morning departure.

    The late night TLV flight is an Airbus but that flight isn’t long enough.

    So I’m going to guess an Asia flight… that arrives early enough to make the following day a work day (eg not Shanghai). Osaka? Nagoya?

    Though that’s all the work I’m going to do on this, throw a few things out off the top of my head…

    … just to embarass myself and have you tell me, “You idiot, the Japan flights don’t leave from the C concourse!!” or something 🙂

  4. Mike Reply
    June 10, 2011 at 3:02 am

    @Gene … and the pictures and blog posts about those A380 trips are where exactly?!

    😉

  5. Matthew Reply
    June 10, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    @Gene: See Mike’s comment! 😉 I am jealous.

    @Gary: Quite perceptive. You are close, very close.

    @Darren: Lucky me!

  6. Gene Reply
    June 10, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    @ Mike and Matthew: Yes, I know. I’ve got at least a dozen trips I need to blog about. Maybe I should present it all as one mega trip. 🙂

  7. Marcus Reply
    June 10, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    LOL I hate old ladies. They’re the worst.

  8. Jim Reply
    June 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    The old lady’s behavior borders on insane, but I have to wonder if it is wise for you to “count on” having that whole row to yourself. You only really “own” the one seat that you have paid for, right? What’s to keep the flight crew from reassigning someone to your row? What would you have done if someone had calmly and nicely asked to sit in the aisle seat in your row, and offered a reasonable explanation (rather than trying to poach it)?

  9. Matthew Reply
    June 14, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    @Jim: It is not that I felt entitled to the seats or that I “owned” them, but that the LH Gate agent offered to give them to me and I opted to take those rather than upgrading to business class.

    Had a FA moved a person to one of the seats prior to the doors being, I would have marched down and requrested the upgrade.

    If someone had calmly and nicely asked to sit in the row I was assigned, I would have calmly and nicely said no way, and explained that I opted for this seat rather than business class only on the condition of having the entire row.

  10. Gary Reply
    June 18, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    OKay, so what flight WAS it??

  11. Matthew Reply
    June 19, 2011 at 9:29 am

    Ah, sorry Gary. It was PEK.

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