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Home » Humor » "You can’t get in a long tube with a bunch of demons…it’s deadly!"
Humor

"You can’t get in a long tube with a bunch of demons…it’s deadly!"

Matthew Klint Posted onJanuary 8, 2016December 5, 2016 20 Comments

duplantis-and-copeland-talk-private-jets 

If you’ve ever wondered why some preachers need a private jet, you’re not alone. Thankfully the answer is now a little clearer. You may just want to skip my commentary and go right to the video at the bottom.

The story starts around a kitchen table with renown Pentecostal preachers Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis. Duplantis shares of his recent “revival meeting” with Creflo Dollar (who claimed God wanted him to have a new $65M Gulfstream jet) and then how God started talking to him on the trip home.

Copeland pipes up, “You couldn’t have done that on an airliner!”

Duplantis responds, “No sir!”

Copeland, acting out the misery of flying commercial next does a bit of a role play. “What’d you say Lord? And the guy sittin’ over there saying ‘what the hell does he think he’s doing?’ You can’t do that! [fly commercial]…Jesse and I and others, Keith Moore and Creflo Dollar…the world is in such a shape that you can’t get there without this.”

Copeland argues he would have to stop 90% of what he was doing without his private jet because “you can’t get there from here”. Duplantis nods in agreement and says “it’s impossible.”

Duplantis chimes in with an example of his recent travel schedule:

Dallas, TX on Friday and Saturday, Sunday morning in Boston, MA, Monday in New Orleans, LA, Tuesday in Chicago, IL, Wednesday in Raleigh, NC, Thursday back in New Orleans, Friday in San Antonio, TX, Saturday in New Orleans, and Sunday in “another city I can’t remember.” Duplantis adds that he asked his neighbor, a Delta pilot, if he would fly that schedule and the pilot said NO. That’s convincing evidence.

Thing is, there are non-stop commercial flights from DFW to BOS, BOS-MSY, MSY-ORD, ORD-RDU…we’re not even talking about making connections. Let’s say, conservatively, that Duplantis flew 1000 hours per year (sounds like he flies a lot more). We’re talking nearly $2.2mn/year in operating costs, not even counting the price of the jet ($16mn…). This is the same preacher who preached, “I’ve never had the Lord say, ‘Jesse, I think that car is a little bit too nice.’  I’ve had vehicles and the Lord said, ‘Would you please go park that at your house.  Don’t put that in front of my house.  I don’t want people to think that I’m a poor God.'”

But our story isn’t done.

You see, these men of the cloth need to be on a private jet so “they can talk to God” since a private jet “protects the anointing”. They used to fly airlines but it was “agitating” with “people coming up to you..and [asking for prayer]”. How annoying that someone might ask a pastor to pray for them!

Then the doozy from Copeland. “You can’t manage that today. This dope-filled world and get in a air–, a llllloooonnnnggggg tube with a bunch of demons.” Duplantis nods in agreement and Copeland continues, “It’s deadly!”

The sad thing is that the actual point of this segment is that God allegedly whispered to Duplantis that he, like Creflo, need a private jet upgrade (and that you need to buy his new DVD). Stay tuned for that.

There’s more. Watch the video please, and weep for the poor folks who actually donate to these charlatans. And remember next time you step onto a plane that you’re just a demon.

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Matthew Klint

Matthew is an avid traveler who calls Los Angeles home. Each year he travels more than 200,000 miles by air and has visited more than 135 countries. Working both in the aviation industry and as a travel consultant, Matthew has been featured in major media outlets around the world and uses his Live and Let's Fly blog to share the latest news in the airline industry, commentary on frequent flyer programs, and detailed reports of his worldwide travel.

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20 Comments

  1. Arthur Reply
    January 8, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    I once had a demon tell me I could not recline my economy seat on an overnight TATL flight. At least I think she was a demon.

  2. Gene Reply
    January 8, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    God told me I can only fly in first class. I obey at all costs! 🙂

  3. JP Reply
    January 8, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    If you give your money to these fools, then you deserve to be broke!

  4. DaninMCI Reply
    January 8, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    Not surprising. I would expect this more from Joel Osteen but maybe he’s smarter than that. I guess I can see why some of these folks could really use a private jet but they should be humble about it not on the prosperity gospel bandwagon. Sad.

  5. SP Reply
    January 8, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    I once flew in an airplane operated by demons…it was called People’s Express!

  6. Jay Reply
    January 8, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    The pilot went back to flying because he officially knows there is a fcking nutjob on his plane standing up and talking to imaginary people and didn’t want to poke the beast. In addition, look at Copeland’s face twinge in disgust telling the story about people coming up to the other preacher and asking him to pray for them. I want your money people, not to talk to you. And Copeland needs to realize the only world dying around him is the one where people believe in his BS story that he is in “the soul business”. Fckin’ shyster.

  7. George Reply
    January 9, 2016 at 12:43 am

    Gotta agree- used to think that most of these preachers spouted crazy ideas, but when I read “long tube with a bunch of demons” I got shivers- spot on!

  8. Ward Reply
    January 10, 2016 at 3:15 am

    Speaking from a Pastor’s point of view, I couldn’t agree more with you Matthew. Charlatans the whole lot of them; and also speaking from a Pastor’s point of view, they will be held accountable. “And just as it is appointed unto man to die once, after that comes judgment.” – Hebrews 9:27

  9. Bryan Reply
    January 10, 2016 at 4:36 pm

    I wonder what Jesus’ private jet looked like when he flew around Israel doing his preaching?

  10. Bo Reply
    February 17, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    As a Christian it’s unfortunate to see these clowns out there giving us a bad name, especially when there are actual good people out there doing good things.

  11. Jim Walker Reply
    December 10, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    I need your prayers dear friends. I confess that I have been flying economy class all these years. Don’t you hear the Lord telling me to fly first class? I want to be obedience. Perhaps a love offering could help me follow the Lord’s word to me.

    (pure sarcasm)

  12. Emanuel Reply
    May 20, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    This is a late reply so my apologies.

    Mathew, these men are business men, in the business of religion and selling faith, and people seems to gladly pay them for that, no different than people who pay entertainers, movie stars, singers, etc to entertain them with tier art. In this case, religion is the form of entertainment for those who gladly and knowingly give their money to them. Whats wrong with that? It’s a free country isn’t it? Or everything must conform to a certain set of stereotypes?

    The scenario you use: “… there are non-stop commercial flights from DFW to BOS, BOS-MSY, MSY-ORD, ORD-RDU…we’re not even talking about making connections.” You seem to let out of the equation, TSA lines, flight delays and cancellations. (I retired from the airline business after 30 years, and trust me, it’s a mess.) Do you think the scenario Duplantis mentioned are just airport stops to hang around at the airport and have a cup of coffee?

    Let them be.

    • Matthew Reply
      May 20, 2019 at 11:46 pm

      I disagree because I don’t like hypocrites. When the invoke God and Jesus and take advantage of gullible people through charlatan tactics, I will continue to call them out. They are free to do what they do…and people are free to be suckered. That’s not the point. The point is that their hypocrisy should be called out…

      • DV Reply
        August 15, 2019 at 8:11 pm

        I would agree with you both matthew and Emanuel. Eman, you are clearly being objective. Those “pastors” are thinking and operating straight from a business perspective, its one meeting to another and the focus on lost souls is the sales technique just like “green” cars are a great positive outlook but the business is to make money so they are trying to keep a certain image. Now to Matthew, they are obviously charlatans and use religion to make money. If they were truly focused on winning souls, then do what Jesus did, he prayed with people, sat children on his lap, road a donkey instead of a chariot, and he wasn’t busy running from point a to point b while neglecting the in between. Need i remind you, jesus’s ministry was based solely in Israel…and yet, he reached mire people…Its about the relationship!

    • Steven McClain Reply
      November 23, 2020 at 10:37 pm

      Let them be? They told a woman dying of cancer to stop the expensive treatment that would do her no good anyway, send that money to them as a sow seed and in turn they would (prey) pray for her and she will be miraculously healed plus the gifts she sends them will be transformed back to her 300 % from God within a years time. Her daughter begged her to stop wasting away her money and return to her medical regiment. She watched her mother slowly die. She contacted Daystar to complain and Copeland suggested that her mothers faith may have been an issue in her failed attempt or that it was simply God’s will. Inside Addition did a follow-up interview with Copeland concerning the “demons” remark and the fact that they are getting filthy rich through donations. Copeland just about came unhinged, pointing his finger in her face with a vicious look saying he never said that and don’t say it again. Gathering himself he then stated that his riches came from finding natural gas on the land his mansion is built on. Buckshot. If he had found NG on his residential property, he couldn’t extract it because of zoning laws and mineral rights issues. He is just a cheat a liar and a demon. Looks at his horrific demonic stare as he threatened this poor tiny female reporter. I could be the trigger man and sleep like a baby at his execution for crimes against humanity.

      • Steven McClain Reply
        November 23, 2020 at 10:42 pm

        OK. A bit heavy on the execution after his trial. Ill leave that for his maker but it infuriated me to watch this guy get filthy rich using God’s name and basically stealing money from a dying woman. Who does that?

  13. Humble Haank Reply
    June 5, 2019 at 6:33 am

    Actually dont we sinners all act like demons some time?
    Isnt it our pride that’s getting offended here?

    • Matthew Reply
      June 5, 2019 at 9:35 am

      No Pastor Copeland, that’s not the issue.

    • John Reply
      March 29, 2020 at 10:19 pm

      Pretty good attempt at justifying sin. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that two wrongs don’t make a right?

  14. Rick Zudzius Reply
    January 17, 2022 at 4:45 pm

    How do you know a person is a Demon. They are Angry all the time. Some are actually really nasty. . They are everywhere. The negative energy they throw off……I see Pastor Copeland’s point.

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