When you fly millions of miles, mostly on one airline, you develop a kindred spirit with FAs. Although they will generally be pleasant and smile in all circumstances, I’ve learned there are certain things you just should not say to a FA. Here’s my top 10 list of them.
SilverDoor created a great infographic showcasing its top 10 list. We will start with that list, then move to my own.
My List
It’s a good list with some overlap to my own, but my top 10 list is a bit different.
#10 “I lost my number. Can I have yours?” – Here’s a hint: if a FA wants to give you his or her number, s/he will. Don’t ask for it.
#9 “Why is the internet so slow?” – FAs do not have control over internet speeds. They can reset the system if there is no internet, but it’s not like they have a special switch to ramp up the speed.
#8 “I know the seatbelt light is on, but I couldn’t wait” – I never understand why passengers do not use lavatories before they board the aircraft. Unless we are talking about huge A380 first class bathrooms like on Emirates, why would anyone ever want to squeeze into a grimy airplane bathroom? Oh, and the seatbelt sign is on for a reason. FAs don’t really care if you’re up and about, but they are required to inform you the seat belt light is on and that gets annoying.
#7 “Will I make my connection?” – FAs rarely have more info than you do at your fingertips with your carrier’s mobile app. While FAs can be reassuring to anxious passengers who have more than enough time (don’t worry — the three hour connection in LA will be fine even though we are five minutes late), your chance of making a tight connection is anyone’s guess.
#6 “What do you have to drink?” – This one annoys me so much because I have a dear member of the family who shall remain nameless (*cough* Uncle Bill) who asks this on every flight, every time we fly. The menu is in the seat back or in-flight magazine. Chances are the airline will have the drink you want. Just tell the FA what you want to drink.
#5 “Don’t worry, this fits” – I say this one a lot and while I don’t think this is an inherently bad statement, you have to be perspicacious. If a FA is clearly having a bad day, just don’t argue.
#4 “Can you take this?” – FAs serving economy class get this one a lot. They begin meal service and before they even reach the rear of the plane the front has already finished. Be patient and don’t hand your trash to FAs until they walk down the aisle with a trash bag.
#3 “Oh, I thought I could take any open seat” – Rule of thumb: unless told otherwise, always take your assigned seat. Always ask a FA before changing seats.
#2 “Sure, let me just finish this call” – FAs hate the cellular data ban as much as you do, but they are required to advise you to place your devices in airplane mode when the aircraft door closes. Do them a favor and comply. I am disgusted by the people who ignore this instruction and continue their calls.
#1 “I’m Not a Terrorist” – Okay, this one is an inside joke. Five years later and I am still waiting to run into that FA. Best not to use the t-word if you want to remain on the flight…
What would you include on your top-10 list?
I hated doing it, but I broke rule #8 with “Do you have an idea how long the seat belt sign is expected to be on?” I had every intention of using the lounge in LHR with a scheduled 3.5 hr connection, however, with London fog, my 1st flight kept getting delayed and it was a fast walk to the transfer bus, security and straight on the LAX flight. It was 30 min into the flight and I was squirming…
About #8, Ponder this. I am guilty of having to visit the restroom before takeoff.
.
See, I was being treated for colon cancer while visiting colleges with my son.
Chemo and radiation wreak havoc on all of your systems. You never quite know when it will hit. Its pretty mortifying. My trip to the bathroom may have delayed the plane a minute, and I HAD just visited the loo in the term. The glares of the passengers who “don’t understnad” why I’d choose to visit the “tiny and grimy” bathroom on the plane beat an accident.
Just remember, you never know what is truly going on with anyone else. So be kind. Take a big deep breath.
You’d always prefer to NOT be the one with the side effects of chemo and radiation or whatever else might be really going on.
“if a FA wants to give you his or her number, s/he will. Don’t ask for it.”
This actually happened to me once in the 1980’s. I was on SQ flying to Singapore. I was just an ordinary, friendly, young single guy, and the FA stopped by and gave me her phone number and suggested that I call her when I visited her city. I was very flattered and truly surprised to get this. I was not flirting with her, did not try to pick her up, and did not even speak much with her during the flight. She was quite pretty which is what made it most flattering to me. I did see her in SF once when she was on a flight there.
This is the one and only time it ever happened to me in my life.
Now I’m way too old for any FA to have any interest volunteering their phone number to me. 🙂
I agree with the comments about #8 potty breaks:
Sometimes your connecting flight was delayed that you didn’t have time to stop at a bathroom in the airport as you were running from one airport terminal to another.
Sometimes your flight pushes away from the gate on time, only to sit on the tarmac for HOURS, always with the seatbelt light on. This can result in either ignoring the seatbelt sign while still on the tarmac, or while in flight.
Sometimes the pilot turns on the seatbelt light because of some initial turbulence in the flight, and forgets to turn it off and you are on the plane for several hours, with absolutely no turbulence, with the seatbelt light on.
As others have pointed out, sometimes there is a medical condition that makes things more urgent for some passengers than others.
In light of the reasonable comments, I may have to reconsider #8.
Thanks.
What about, a variation on your #3,”I see there’s an empty seat in First Class…can I move up?”
That’s a reasonable question! 😉
I’ll concede, with the caveat that it would be most appropriate if you had status with the airline. and even then, with international flights, it’s not going to – in most cases – get you anything.
“What sort of drinks do you have” is sometimes a reasonable question if the only list of drinks is buried inside the in-flight magazine. Plus I have never remembered a flight where the exact drink list is announced, and if it does it’s often in-one-ear-and-out-the-other.
An even better question, in my humble opinion, is “what kind of red wines are available?” or “what brand is your ginger ale?” Helps narrow down your inquiry.
People just need to have common sense. We’re so self-focused that we can’t think about how our actions or words affect other people. I’m not a “Politically Correct” kind of guy, but I also go out of my way to not act like a bonehead either.
Matthew, You seriously need to stop with the talk about your photo incident. That was your fault and your fault alone, and it constantly sickens me to think that you would blame someone else because you are stupid. I know that you were not doing anything wrong taking the picture, but the word you said on the plane was really stupid and you do not seem to care one bit. Let go of the grudge, and it is really bothering you, take your business elsewhere.
Sorry Alan, I strongly disagree. The true threat was the lying, erratic FA. Saying “terrorist” on an airplane in the context in which I did should only alarm a very weak-minded, fearful person.