My 7-year-old son Augustine offers his views on our United Airlines 787-9 Polaris Business Class flight from Denver to London below.
I fly business class for the ice cream sundaes and the TV.
A 7-Year-Old Reviews United Airlines Polaris Business Class…
We were going to visit my aunt in London and Dad chose United because he has that status with them that got us all into business class. I like business class because I can stretch out and my sister doesn’t put her feet on me. She teases me first. I tease her back. I get blamed, just like any older sibling.
We flew from Burbank to Denver first where Dad kept us quiet by stuffing our faces with junk food. I got to run around a little bit by visiting the Ramp Tower in Denver during my layover and also stopping for coffee. What my Dad doesn’t tell you is that he didn’t start drinking coffee until he was 25, I’ve been drinking since I was 2.5 and I love coffee too.
Of course I have to sneak it, because my Dad is worried it may stunt my growth, but that’s sillier than chasing elite status in the first place. The good thing is that the United lounge in Denver is big and I could “excuse myself” without arousing any suspicion.
We boarded and I settled in, putting on my headphones and sitting through the library to see what I was going to watch. Mama was between my sister Claire Marie and me, but she also put her headphones on to watch Lord Of The Rings (for like the 10th time) and thankfully left me alone during the flight.
It was late and I had already eaten in the lounge, but what else are you supposed to do on airplanes but stuff yourself? They served dinner after takeoff and my dad had ordered chicken with noodles for me, which was really good.
But I was waiting for the ice cream sundae.
It finally arrived and there were special toppings like strawberry shortbread and biscoff cookies.
THIS IS WHY I LIKE BUSINESS CLASS!
But the sugar coma set in rather quickly and I fell asleep…with the seat fully upright.
Six hours later, as we made our descent for landing, my Dad shook me awake and scolded me for not using the bed and said, “Next summer we are flying in economy class. At least you are!”
As long as there is ice cream and a screen…
My sister slept well and refused to even wake up…I had to sit on top of her to try to wake her and even then she just kicked me.
Ok, my dad wanted me to address the service onboard and the flight attendants were all very nice. They thought my dad was some bigshot “1K” when he’s just slightly ahead of the curve in using points. Heck, even the employees could have flown business class on this flight since it left with a few open seats. But I appreciate that Dad tries to keep us comfortable, even if it’s wasted on me.
Summary: I watched a LEGO movie, I had chicken with noodles and an ice cream sundae, and I slept in an upright position despite being in business class until moments before landing. Sounds like a good flight.
Was this written with significant input from Augustine? If so, it should be credit to him “as told to Matthew”. If some input, he should be listed as a co-author, either as first author or second author. Give credit when credit is due.
Is that Jack on the rocks?
He’s far from alone sleeping comfortably in the seat’s upright position, I generally see a handful of folks each flight that fall asleep that way too.
I unfortunately have a hard time with that tho
The only thing missing is your dad reading Henny Penny to you before curling asleep. Robert Chambers would have sipped a glass of that amber looking liquid suspiciously reminiscent of scotch.
A great report, and one which reminds me of when my sister was small and annoying!
Awesome. Thank you.