Word of advice: when dealing with the TSA, it is wise to always know the content of the items you are traveling with.
Five Words You Never Should Utter To The TSA, Even As A Joke
A man named Brett Gaffney was given a suitcase from his grandmother on Thanksgiving and told it was a Christmas gift and not to open it until he landed at home. It was an older suitcase and whatever was inside was heavy.
While flying home to Los Angeles the carry-on bag was sent to secondary screening after going through the metal detector. A TSA agent asked him what was in the bag.
“I don’t know what’s inside.”
Those five words in that order are quite problematic. A TSA agent replied:
“What do you mean? You’re bringing a briefcase, and you don’t know what’s inside?!”
Thankfully for Gaffney, once he explained why he did not know, the agent bought his story.
The contents of the bag? An old typewriter.
Here’s the video he posted to TikTok:
@brett.gaffney Airport Security said this is the second one they have seen today! #brettgaffneyforever #holidaytravel
Like most things on TikTok, this could very a totally fake story. Nevertheless, it is an instructive one. While Gaffney had a plausible explanation for why he did not know the contents of the bag, if you find yourself dealing with an unreasonable TSA agent you could soon find yourself in deeper trouble than being mocked for unwittingly carrying a typewriter across the country (think invasive strip search or interrogation).
We can laugh about this incident, but always know the contents of your bag. Period.
Once again, I’m reminded of Peter and Judith on Come Fly With Me…
And sometimes grandmas can appear innocuous but they actually may be up to something no good…
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Do not accept packages from other people, even from family members, without knowing what is inside them if you are going to be traveling commercially through a US airport.
CONCLUSION
A man rather humorously discovered his grandmother had gifted him a typewriter at a TSA checkpoint. While his story had a conclusion we can chuckle at, admitting to the TSA that you do not know the contents of your bag is a recipe for disaster…and not a matter that should be taken lightly.
Bottom line: I’m not transporting holiday gifts or packages of any kind without knowing what the content is inside.
image: TSA
Luckily, my interactions with TSA, Customs, Immigration officers has been zero in the last few years. I know how to travel and pack in a way that I don’t need to interact with any of them. It makes my life much easier.
I’m chuckling about that granny robbing the place after getting the young man’s help. She could have just as easily done that climbing herself or had one of her accomplices do it. Not only that, if he knew the neighbor, he’d know she was a scammer and call it in.
Quite frankly, as someone whose dabbled in security, the joke is that she could have just picked the lock.
“I’m not transporting holiday gifts or packages of any kind without knowing what the content is inside.”
You’d think that would be common sense at this point…
I try to avoid interacting with the government as much as possible. I use Global Entry/NEXUS/Pre-check to speed things along and pack lightly.