Brett Hart, the new President of United Airlines, opened up to employees during a recent town hall on the topic of race. His words direct us toward an uncomfortable reality.
Hart, a black man, shared his thoughts on race and the recent death of George Floyd in a recording obtained by Live and Let’s Fly:
“I have to believe everyone on this town hall has been affected by George Floyd. Over the course of the last week, I’ve had a range of emotions. Anger, sadness and fear. My wife and I are fortunate to have three sons, and this world views them differently. In a few years, we will release them into the larger world. Having to have these conversations with your boys each time is like reaching out and snatching a bit of their youth.”
“The conversation”…what a sad testament to reality in the United States. It is a conversation that I will never have to have with my own son, a conversation that no father should have to have with his son. Indeed, the conversation does rob children of their youth and exposes an uncomfortable yet undeniable reality that continues from generation to generation.
I’m talking about how to deal with the police.
Here’s the issue. I know so many law enforcement officials in Los Angeles and across the USA. Some are clients, some are friends. They are all decent men and women. All of them. They seek justice and work hard to protect the lives of those they have been entrusted to serve.
And yet we know there are a few bad apples. Yes, just a few. Cops as an entity are not the enemy. If anything, the last few days has highlighted tremendous restraint and respect in so many cities across the nation.
But even one bad apple is one bad apple too many. Like pilots, there is no room for error. There cannot be. Not when lives are on the line.
Sadly, though statistically small, there are far too many bad apples. And since you never know when you will run into one, black fathers have to warn their black sons to exercise extreme caution in tone, speech, and movements should they ever be pulled over by a police officer.
The police in Compton don’t give bout no protest pic.twitter.com/FmnOYu8XVh
— Lil Martin (@Reallilmartin) June 1, 2020
I’ve been pulled over twice in my life. Honestly, I was shaking both times because I too was afraid of what might happen if the cop was trigger-happy. Imagine those who are in much greater inherent danger because of the color of their skin. Diversity can foster fear and fear can precipitate bad choices. Deadly choices. We must do a better job, myself included, of grappling with our differnces and seeking mutual respect and an environment in which all can flourish.
It sounds so trite, but I do have many black friends. And for them I am truly afraid. These are well-educated, well-spoken, well-dressed, middle to upper middle class folks. Pastors, professors, lawyers, and officers. One particular friend has two boys who recently joined the military. I pray they will not experience the sort of prejudice I observed while in the military. I pray they will never be pulled over by a cop one night and find their lives suddenly ended.
What about the far more vulnerable? Those without money or eduction or any sort of societal status. Who will speak for them?
I hate the term white guilt, generally thrown as a pejorative toward people struggling through issues of race. I’m not guilty. But I am privileged by the nature of my skin color and increasingly recognize it. The sort of default deference I receive is not something others enjoy…travel has opened my eyes to this reality.
So what?
Hart continued:
“We have to learn how to talk to one another and then listen. We believe the culture of United and the United community is strong enough for this. We can drop our body armor and have a conversation. We know that you will listen and listen without judgement.”
That’s how we start. We must do a better job of listening to one another rather than putting up blinders. Hart has a big heart and I feel pain for the conversations he had to have with his boys. We all should.
CONCLUSION
Friends, all lives matter…but let us not forget that using that term implies that all lives are equally at risk. They are not. And so today, I do say black lives matter. There is a specific problem occurring in the black community that is not happening in other communities on nearly the same level. This observation should not be divisive, but a wake-up call for all of us.
It is my duty to love my neighbor. That includes understanding. Without that foundation of trust, there can be no other conversations.
Very much heartfelt. Thanks for sharing your sincere thoughts
Well said Matthew.
Sexism is a worse problem. Women do not get killed by the police, not even black women.
I know you’re just trying to be an a$$hole, but Breonna Taylor.
I don’t think it’s an either-or problem. I think society would be (or should I say, should be) able to address both issues.
Derek – white women do get killed by police, at least in Minneapolis. The police up there are equal opportunity slayers. In fact, the family of rape victim Justine Damond received a $20 million settlement after a black Minneapolis police officer killed her as she approached the police car for help. That was the reason the last “progressive” police chief in Minneapolis was forced to resign. And don’t bother to complain – you can read what how most complaints against police misbehavior are dropped and how the US Department of Justice felt about how Minneapolis polices itself.
“It is a conversation that I will never have to have with my own son,” I don’t think you mean this because you have a daughter, but maybe this is part of the problem. This conversation isn’t just about dealing with the police. This conversation isn’t just to be directed at our sons. It goes a lot deeper than this. When discussing issues around, for example, sexism & misogyny & rape & sexual violence we do talk about raising our sons teaching them to respect women and girls. It does start with a conversation. But maybe we ALL need to engage in conversation with ALL of our children about issues of race & sexism & homophobia & . . . Remember, these cops who murdered George Floyd were, once upon a time, boys, someone’s sons. Perhaps someone needed to engage them in conversation. It is a multilayered conversation that is ALL of our responsibility in which to engage.
Elliot, I think my definition of “the conversation” is narrower than yours. I already speak often with my three year old about respecting authority, valuing the dignity of each and every human being, and treating others with kinds. This will be a continuing conversation for his formative years. When I spoke of the conversation I would never have to have with my son, I was referring only to being pulled over by the police.
Thank you, Matthew.
I’m glad he can have the conversation with his sons, even though I wish he didn’t have to. Many sons out there right now don’t have fathers around and that is a large part of the problem which often gets overlooked. This is not a political statement – it’s a statistical truth.
What problem is that, James? Thanks.
Beautiful article Matthew
If only whites could share on the topic of race without being persecuted, fired or targeted. Blacks commit a disproportionate amount of attacks (rapes, murders, assaults) on whites. This happens all over the world from Minneapolis to Rio de Janeiro. But whites aren’t allowed to talk about this. Police abuse greatly affects white people who are also frequently killed by police in the United States. But whites aren’t allow to talk about this. Mr. Hart is allowed to have black pride, support preferential treatment in employment for blacks, publicly support business owned businesses, but whites are not allowed to have white pride, support preferential treatment in employment for whites, or publicly support white businesses.
The real story about race is a double standard.
I have to agree with Amy West; according to statistics published by the FBI, Whites are Blacks are eight times as likely to perpetrate homicide, armed robbery, rape, and felonious assault against Whites (based on their percentage of the total population in the USA), than the other way around. It is not being racist to state the facts. Crimes of homicide, robbery, rape, and felonious assault by Whites against Blacks are extremely rare in the USA. Yet, the news media never reports the above. As Sgt. Joe Friday of Dragnet used to state “Just give me the facts”.
Thank you for such a thoughtful post, Matthew.
“Diversity can foster fear … ”
Those words (virtually) leapt off the page at me and knocked me out of my chair. This. This is what we have to stop … in all corners, among everyone. Until all people stop feeling threatened by diversity (minority, majority alike), these sorts of things won’t stop. Though I could never in my wildest dreams imagine wanting to move back to the New York City area (no slight to NYC; it’s just not for me), I very much appreciate how that place taught me what diversity is and why it’s a beautiful thing. It’s something to embrace, not fear.
So, I would ask everyone to teach their children this. And travel is such a wonderful way to do exactly that!
I can appreciate the sentiment, however, everyone speaks of “The Conversation” they have or wish they didn’t have to have. What conversation are they having with their kids? If it starts something like, “Now my son/daughter I don’t want to scare you, but, this is how you must behave because of you’re skin colour etc.” haven’t you just planted the seed of fear unnecessarily? If you raise your children to love your neighbour, respect authority and recognise their is a time to speak and time to be silent. As a Hispanic-American there’s the conversation my Hispanic dad and Caucasian mother had with their kids. It was never, “You must worry because your skin colour puts a large target on your back. You can’t get the same jobs, or have the same opportunities as others because of the colour of your skin.”
Now I don’t feel privileged or special because I had 2 parents that raised their 3 kids, parents are expected to do this single or otherwise. My parents instilled values, morals, ethics and made it very clear that outcomes are based on the individual. My parents were business owners in the trucking industry that was seasonal and we knew rough times and good times. Appreciation for what you have and pride in the work you do as it’s a reflection on you. The family name must not be dragged through the mud because it’s the hardest thing to clean.
Yes, I was pulled over late at night while I was in High School because my car fit the description many times. Yes my car was searched and I complied because that’s showing respect for authority; it’s called compliance. Now when I arrived home I always told my parents what happened and what did we do? We called the PD and filed complaints. I could have stood there and insisted on my rights, but, that was not the time or the place. I knew that I had nothing to hide or be weary of so why not comply? The one time I did show disrespect, I was pulled over traveling 120 mph on the freeway and 18y/o. The CHP asked if I knew how fast I was driving? My response, “Not fast enough if you caught me.” At that his response was, “I can take you jail right now!!!” At that point I realised my respectful silence would have been better than my smart ass response. The situation de-escalated when complied. I drove away with a big fat ticket that lead to a huge fine & insurance rate.
Let’s bring it to today and the conversation I choose to have with my son, “Don’t be a dummy! Show love for your neighbour, respect for authority always, know when to speak and when to be silent. Behave in a manner that brings respect, dignity, and honour to our Grand Creator and your parents. Appreciate what you have and work hard. Nothing in life is free and when it is show the utmost respect and greater appreciation. Be wise and avoid calamity. Be responsible and take accountability. Apologising does not admit guilt, it admits you care more for others than yourself.” This is the conversation I choose have with my 16 y/o son that is Hispanic-Caucasian-African American.
The colour of our skin is not your race, human is our race.
Matthew you have nothing to be ashamed of being white. I am sick of “woke” culture telling me that I am racist and that my relatively few and hard-earned accomplishments are actually not my own. The problem today is that no one wants to talk about honestly about problems and solutions. They are content to make fools of themselves in the streets, and anyone who disagrees or even tries to enter into dialogue is immediately labeled “racist.”