Reader Fathiss sent me the story below, which I found amusing due to its unexpected twist at the end. Do you speak up when you see someone taking food or drinks out from a hotel or airport lounge? Does minding your own business make you culpable or does speaking up make you just as bad as the one you are speaking out against?
Who Is The Jerk? Ratting Out Someone Stuffing Beers Into His Backpack In A Hotel Lounge
When do you say something and stand up for what you think is right, and when do you just eat it and shut up? This is an art I have not mastered. This character flaw played out in a lounge in Manila.
It was around 8:00 AM one morning when I entered a mostly full lounge. It was small in size and the seating relatively close. I was fortunate to score a seat at the last open table with two empty seats. I sat in one chair and placed my backpack on the other.
I grabbed a coffee and placed it on the table and shortly after a Filipino man entered the lounge. Seeing there were few seats left even at occupied tables, I moved my backpack from the chair as a gesture of invitation. He quickly seized on the opportunity and joined me without a word.
Then it began.
He immediately took out his phone and entered into a conversation at a fairly loud and animated talking volume. The small lounge had been quiet to this point and his actions stood out as obnoxious (at least to me), but I endured in silence.
After he ended his call he started on the breakfast buffet. He continued to bring food to the table until he completely filled it, save for the small area where my cup sit. So much for sharing! Then he began to eat, making odious noises as he devoured the feast.
I sat annoyed, but in silence. I realize we live in a society and we all have to endure what we view as nuisances…to a point.
When he finished his breakfast he proceeded to the refrigerator of beverages. He removed four beers and returned to the table. As he approached I was stunned he was going to drink four beers in one sitting at 8:00 AM. But it wasn’t long before I realized that he was going to put them all in his backpack for later consumption.
At this point, I was sufficiently moved to rectify what I perceived to be an egregious act of thievery. As he placed the first beer in the sack I spoke up, “I don’t think you’re supposed to do that!” To which he replied, “What am I supposed to do with them?”
How do you respond to that? I responded with the obvious, “Drink them here or put them back is what most people would do!” To which he simply shrugged and continued his less than stealthy dishonest act.
Well, as I mentioned, the lounge was small and quiet other than this man. Now I had engaged him confrontationally so it caught the attention of nearly everyone in the lounge. With all eyes on us, and with his open defiance as well as my aggregated aggravation, I acted.
I approached the reception desk where a lone lady attended. She was on the phone at the time so was not knowledgeable of the unfolding conflict. When she hung up I asked her, with all eyes and ears in attendance, “Is it ok if we fill up our backpacks with beer and take them from the lounge?”
There, I’d done it. I snitched him out. I was sure of the next steps. Naturally, she was going to thank me for my service and compliment me on my integrity. Then we would walk back to that table, hand in hand, and really give it to the ogre. And if he refused to be sufficiently contrite, we would then pull down his little panties and take turns spanking him, as the crowd cheered us on! Yes!
If only the world played out like it does in my mind. Instead, she responded, “We don’t have a policy against it.”
Policy? What? Who needs a policy for this? Are the Philippines such a strange land? Is purloining accepted here? I stood humiliated. I felt like my own caboose had been publicly displayed for all to slap. I just wanted to skulk out of the lounge through the nearby door. But I had no exit strategy. I had left my backpack at the table!
So I had to take the walk of shame back to the table to get it. All the while enduring the stares of the silent majority as well as the gloating stare of my table mate. I defeatedly picked up my backpack and left the lounge. He won. He not only got his beers, but the whole table as well.
As I walked down the corridor to my gate something dawned on me. When I asked the lady if we could fill our backpacks with beer and exit the lounge, she probably thought I was talking about me. She likely thought I went back to get my backpack of beers and exited. The morning just kept getting worse!
I wish I could say “live and learn” but I know I would likely do it the same way in the future. How can lounges possibly stay open at current prices if this unknown lounge privilege became public knowledge?
My takeaway is that Fathiss had good intentions and this matter did involve him to the extent of the “this is why we can’t have nice things” problem. If everyone loaded their bags with takeaway food, we might see the end of lounges. But there will always be jerks who game the system to their own advantage with no regard for others. The way I look at it, if the hotel (or airline) does not want to more closely regulate its own guests, I’m not going to do so.
What are your thoughts on this incident?
He should have grabbed everything he could and taken it out with him too. When in Rome…
The noisy eating was the worst offense in my opinion
The snitching behavior is so childish. Grow up.
I love the advice of the self righteous. They are such great teachers.
Lol. It must be tough for all these perfect people to condemn you while supporting the idiot. Bless their hearts!
I can understand how your reader reached his boiling point since the other man’s actions hit upon several of my greatest pet peeves – talking loudly in public spaces; smacking while eating/chewing gum; taking advantage of another’s generosity – but there’s no way I would’ve ratted him out, especially when I’m a foreigner in another country. Also, because I remember being a poor college student who snuck food out of the dining hall on Fridays because they weren’t open over the weekend 🙂
This guy was was no college student. He was dressed in business attire.
At the time this happened I was reading Ariana when she still had her blog (I read her stuff before she defected to TPG). She’s a feisty woman who didn’t take crap and had just published a story where she had confronted someone in similar manner.
I admired her for it and was emboldened to foolishly follow her actions.
This was you? Learn to let go and understand some people suck. No need to dwell or even write about it.
This is simply a travel story. No real moral.
Most people will say nothing I know in these cases. Most avoid confrontation unless they can hide in the comments section.
As I age I realize life is about the stories we live and leave behind. They’re all worth writing about. Apparently it was worth you reading it too. Thank you.
I have more stories if you care to read. In my new blog. Not sure if Matthew allows me to share but I started a blog on kirkstravelstories. Delete if it’s inappropriate.
I support where you’re coming from. I think your mistake, if you want to learn from it, is that you waited until The Last Straw to say something so when you got shot down on the “to go” policy, you didn’t have a leg to stand on. If the lounge is ok with taking a few beers to go, then that’s their business. The other coarse behavior you should have quietly stood your ground on earlier. I’d have reclaimed my share of the table by pulling out a magazine and pretending to read it “Do you mind moving your food out of the way?” For the mobile phone chats, say “Excuse me, there’s a mobile phone area there you can talk.”
But that said, being a “snitch” when it comes to manners and theft is something we should encourage within reason.
They should give you a badge you beer policeman lol. You act like they our your beers and you work there. Stay in your lane
I find the prissy tone more offensive than the stashing of cheap beers. This is I presume a Westerner, not harmed in any way, trying to police the behavior of a Filipino in the Philippines. The setting alone should have encouraged Faithiss to remain silent.
Also, who puts his/her bag on the scarce empty seat of a crowded lounge?
New to lounges? What’s rare is to remove it.
I’ve never needed a second chair for my bag. Am I an outlier here?
You would have been more famous if you captured it on Tiktok. Either way, seems like a bitch ass move to snitch lmao. Next time, go to Japan or Korea, and complain about how the locals slurp their ramen a bit too loudly, and let us know how that works out for you.
Actually happened to me like two months ago when I was in Gangnam to meet up with a few close buds from college lmfao.
We were having kalguksu at a pretty well-known place and our group was having a good time. While we were eating, these snobby tourists who were sitting in the table next to us confronted all of us for slurping and our group was a healthy mix of Korean, Japanese, and white guys and I was the only black person. As a group, we tried to kindly tell them that this is Korean culture when eating good food with friends/family, but they weren’t having it. The Imo in the kitchen who was also owned the place came over, told them off for being ignorant, and then gave us extra jeon and soju for free. Ended up being a pretty good night in our books.
I agree that taking a phone call very loudly right next to you is pretty annoying. Admittedly, I am guilty of this and I try to make them short or go to a secluded place away from the main lounge area to take it.
Back when I used to work at JP Morgan almost a decade ago, I used to frequently travel through a lot of East and Southeast Asia and use hotel and airport lounges a lot more than I do today. In places like China, Philippines, and Singapore, people took more than what they needed but no one really cared. However, in Japan or Korea, people only took what they need and in the rare case there was someone who took a lot more, the attendants would see it and kindly tell them to only take what they need. Point is, each country has a different set of norms and if there aren’t any explicit rules against it, then it’s a bit of an overreaction.
From the title, I thought the lounge agent had chewed him out or told him to mind his own business in the rudest possible way. Still wondering where the humiliated part comes from?
Sounds like you were acting like an American in a foreign country. Good job!
I love America, but in a foreign country I try not act like a colonizer.
I assume it was the Thai lounge in terminal 1 in MNL. It gets cramped but they have an over flow lounge right next to it. If the Filipino guy grabbed four beers why didn’t you put the bottle of JW Black scotch in your bag? You got the clearance from the lounge manager to help your self. Will have to remember this when I am there later this month!
Getting everything you can is normal Filipino behavior – trust me I have been married to one for almost 35 years. Watch Jo Koy and he explains it very well and hilariously.
Hahahaha
You should grab all the free sh@t throw it into a bag then tie that bag to your ankle, and then jump off a cliff. Go be a white basic b@tch elsewhere, oh you’ve visited 135 countries. Just a flight attendant pos. Stfu and tell me where the exits are again and get me my drink.
I think you missed the fact that this did not happen to me, you racist prick.
Your reply was insulting and condescending. Does being churlish make you feel better?
They deserved it. Wasn’t to make me feel better. Just calling it like it is…
So much hate. Must be a tough life in your skin.
Quite a few lounge attendants in Asia were the ones who suggested to me at times that it was ok to take food and (at least non-alcoholic) beverages back to the rooms.
Good story fathiss and thanks for sharing! Personally I’m trying to train myself to be less worried about other peoples annoying habits. It makes for less stress for me.
Me too Mick.
You can take a guy out of the ghetto but not the ghetto out of the guy..
To be upfront, I would’ve stayed silent unless I wanted one of those beers and there were none left.
Fascinating. Both the story and the responses. Personally I would be as offended as Faithiss. Clearly though, based on the responses, civility and manners are no longer a thing.
@ Stuart
Offended yes. Me too. But I couldn’t imagine calling them out. It’s not a perfect world
Same as Maryland. While I find the behavior offensive, 99.5% of the time, it’s not worth making a scene. Especially not at the risk of setting off a crazy person (as these types who exhibit boorish behavior usually are) and ending up their target. Better to discretely tell the lounge agent, go find somewhere else to sit, and let them handle it (or not).
I suspect most people fall in the same boat.
Tend to agree on a sense with both of you yet….I can’t help but wonder if choosing to ignore it just encourages it more and allows the problem to grow even worse.
In a lot of the asian cultures, they take “customer is always right” to the extreme such that the staff are very hesitant to criticize any questionable behavior.
You would have had much more success in the US.
Taking 4 beers is not excessive, in my opinion. 12 beers is excessive, in my opinion.
I have not had a hot dog in several years. I missed the chance last month. The lounge had hot dogs. I ate something else. I should have eaten that hot dog. …Or taken it out to eat on the flight.
Humiliated?
They tried to rat on somebody in a really weird way that sounded like they were asking permission to do something themselves and were told there was no policy against it.
It was a couple bottles of beer in a lounge. Take the L, move on and pick your battles better in future. The biggest crime the other person committed were there selfish and disgusting eating habits
Lots of people condoning bad behavior here. The same people, who no doubt would raise hell if there were unattended children running around or people with their shoes, or worse… unshod hooves, on the furniture in a Centurion Lounge or Delta Sky Club.
The point is, there is a most basic expectation of decorum in airline lounges. We pay good money for access, whether thru status, a credit card benefit, a membership, whatever. We utilize these lounges to escape from the zoo of the terminal for a little bit of civility on our journeys. Very understandable that the writer would find it upsetting, the man described seems to lack the most basic command of etiquette in a shared space, lounge or not.
It’s actually not unusual for this sort of thing to be practiced by people from the Philippines. Filipino Americans even joke about it: the Philippine cultural aversion to waste and the need to save every little amenity from a hotel, or a napkin or condiments from a fast food joint. Filipino households end up with mountains of ketchup packs, napkins, chopsticks, plastic spoons/forks, etc.
Pocketing 4 beers for future use certainly goes beyond what is typically expected, but there will always be extreme outliers. I can see why no one else in the lounge really thought this was a big deal.
Also, saving face is very important in the Philippines like it is in other Asian countries. Public confrontation is frowned upon and isn’t really conducive to conflict resolution.
I am annoyed by piggish lounge behavior but outside of the US, I would have kept my mouth shut, I have educated my son’s friends on proper lounge behavior when they were young teens.
Worst part of that whole story is instead of embracing the culture in that lounge and grabbing some beer for his bag the reader just judged away. Obviously that was the way they do it so they expect people to grab a couple extra (undoubtably cheap) beers on their way out. Much nicer than having to chug what you want inside the lounge American style.
Can someone change the title to “Jerk humiliated for ratting out man who did nothing.” Who does this FAT-HISS guy think he is anyways.
Piggy should not have been a turd in the lounge, and I don’t mean Fathiss.
First of all, self appointed vigilante much? If customers start appointing themselves enforcers of rules, of which they are not even aware, at random businesses in foreign countries there will be chaos and some arrests. It’s really none of your business. You are a guest, you got your little priority pass perk. It’s not the Ritz Carlton, it’s a crappy stuffy airport lounge in a country where people make $10 per day, if they are lucky.
Second, racist much? Imposing your own standards on a person of a different culture in their own country is so ignorant and condescending.
So what’s next, approaching an Arab guy in a first class lounge in Abu Dhabi and calling him out on how he treats his five little wives? That will go real well.
Great click bait story though.
If I were this guy I would point out the in the United States it is now socially and legally acceptable to ransack and take whatever you wish from convenience stores and other businesses, while the staff are told to stand down (and even fired for confronting the “takers”) and the police just watch it happen. How come this justice warrior is not confronting her countrymen in Chicago and San Francisco when they stuff their backpacks in Walmart stores, by saying “I don’t think you’re supposed to do that!”
Very much a Karen move.
I mind my own business although sometimes I feel like engaging in a conversation with people that misbehave but at the end it is not worth it. I am in Europe now on vacation. For the first time I felt unwelcome when speaking English. Yesterday, we went to a very nice restaurant for dinner. Place had low ceilings so any sound would be loud. Next to my table there was a table with 3 American couples. They were from NY, probably bankers from Wall St, wives had all sorts of jewelry and fancy designer clothes. They were absolutely obnoxious. They acted like they owned the place. They were talking and laughing extremely loud, making jokes and sharing their Instagram posts with each other. Suddenly another American couple approached the table and they were standing there also talking with them extremely loud. The restaurant was quite small and you could see the waiters, owner and other guests were extremely uncomfortable. People were looking at them non stop. One time the waiter came to our table and realized we were also uncomfortable with the noise. He told us in local language: “now you understand why nobody like Americans”. I smiled and didn’t say anything. Europe is absolutely full of American tourists and unfortunately most of them act like these people at the restaurant.
In every country the locals complain about any culture that are deemed outsiders. They complain about Germans, Brits, Americans, French, Chinese…anyone who dominates a scene as a tourist in particular spots. This is not an American thing. The week before that waiter was probably complaining about Germans. And two years ago they were complaining that they were in financial hardship because no one was traveling.
Of course, not sure how this relates to the story of a dude t sticking up a bag with beer in a lounge other than to say that crass behavior is certainly not exclusively American.
It relates that everyone minded their own business and didn’t go to confront the annoying table. Everyone was really upset and uncomfortable but they didn’t start an argument. I don’t disagree with your comment about other cultures but I have been paying attention on Americans and they surely take the cake in terms of acting like they own the place.
The people who wait tables in South Beach might disagree with that assessment about Americans “taking the cake.”
The author only ratted out the alleged offender purely for selfish reasons. Genuine *sshole. Probably racist, too (thanks for pointing out the guy was Filipino, really added to the story)
Selfish? I stood nothing to gain. Racist? I would have done it to anyone? BTW, Filipinos are not a race. But that’s the comment I expect from the uneducated.
Oh you’re a bigot, not a racist? Much better. Maybe consider why you needed to specify his ETHNICITY at all. Also you wanted a pat on the back from the crowd and you wanted revenge on this noisy eater. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you did this to somehow help a lounge operator save a few $$.
Come on – we all did take something from the lounge, be it a croissant or a tea bag. Filling a backpack with beer tho…That’s too much.
I don’t think I would have called the perpetrator myself, but I certainly appreciate Faithiss’ sincerely held feelings, and I enjoyed reading this story. Thanks for sharing!
One question I do have, is which hotel lounge in MNL is both crowded, and lets you access beer at breakfast? The Marriott historically hasn’t. The MO wouldn’t be crowded. I’m going to guess Hilton. Their lounges in Asia are usually the most crowded in my experience. Good on them for offering up free beer all day long!
Airline lounge
Taking the beer was the least annoying part. When i have some friends without access waiting for me outside i occasionally sneak a bottle or two for them out as well but i’d never make loud phonecalls…
What happens if you’re in a lounge, and see someone fill up his insulated water bottle (to the top) with Scotch (he spilled out whatever liquid had been inside, and then started pouring). So he has a duty free bag with a bottle of ‘Fiddich sticking out, plus a 64 oz bottle which is being filled with a couple of bottles from the lounge. Guess what, he’s not only on my flight, but sitting next to me. Do I say something to the flight attendant(s) or just shut up and hope for a quiet (10.5 hour) flight?
Never any shortage of classless slobs and ignorant louts. Been frequently traveling for 40 years and seen it time and again, almost every flight nowadays
I’m not going to police an airport lounge, for two reasons:
– as long it’s not a safety/security issue, it’s the lounge’s problem, not mine
– as the example suggests, I might not even know the lounge’s policy.
I also don’t see a problem in how much food other people eat or how many drinks they consume. I suggest the author takes the same approach.
I admit I’ve taken a Speedbird or two from the BA lounge for the novelty of that particular beer where I live. I otherwise generally don’t take things from the lounge, but doubt I’d go to the trouble to report anyone for doing so (unless they took the last beer).