With the arrival of Augustine, we are celebrating Mother’s Day in a new way this year: my kitchen now looks like a funeral parlor.
I prefer to buy potted plants or trees that my wife Heidi and I can plant together and nurture to growth. But there’s something to be said for fresh cut flowers throughout the house. Anyway, the point is not flowers, but what they represent.
Mother’s Day has always been about my own mother or grandmothers in the past. This year, with my wife now a mother, it takes on a new meaning.
My job, self-chosen but still what puts food on our table, requires so much travel. I just returned from Austria and Germany and will be departing shortly for Hong Kong and Bangkok followed by Madrid, Mexico City, Buenos Aires, Rome, Minneapolis, London and Belgrade (there will be some space in between trips…).
Travel has become bittersweet. Even though it should be guilt free in that 1.) it is how I provide for my family and 2.) Heidi knew what she was getting into when she married me, there is still a discretionary element to my travel.
It’s true, I have enough content to go on for at least a year without setting foot outside Los Angeles. But my policy is to balance out every older report with a much more recent one. I could also just focus on Award Expert and be home each night.
But giving up a dream job would not just be giving up a personal dream, but a way that provides consistent and growing income for my family.
So I continue to write and continue to travel. Yet if I miss the moment by baby crawls, utters his first word, or walks…well, the regret is going to be great. And more fundamentally, every night that my wife sleeps alone or has to care for the baby herself is a night in which I feel I am abdicating a role far more important than earning a living.
Hopefully you can appreciate my struggle.
On this day, I would be remiss if I did not give a special shoutout to my wife for being so patient, understanding, and supportive of the work that I do. It is a sacrifice and I do not take it for granted. My old girlfriend was so controlling she would get angry every time I would embark on a trip. Needless to say, the relationship was doomed to failure.
Heidi endorses my work. She encourages me to take advantage of opportunities, like the trip I’ll be departing on later this week. That is sacrificial love.
Thank you dear Heidi for being my greatest fan. I cherish our time together and our time apart does indeed make the heart grow fonder. And Happy Mother’s Day to you.
> See Also: Mother’s Day Part I: From Fear to Nonchalance
Well said. I totally get where you’re coming from, as someone celebrating Mother’s Day with my wife as a mom for the first time.
I took the opposite approach. A few years ago, I decided I’d been missing too many moments at home and quit my job for one with a predictable schedule and wouldn’t have me traveling. I don’t regret the decision for a second, especially after we were blessed with Ashok 3 years later. Nor do I begrudge your choice. I just happened to judge the value proposition differently.
Yes you said it right. True love is sacrificial love. That’s what makes marriage and all other relationships flourish. Sounds like you have s great wife, you are blessed indeed.
May the Lord bless you for the wonderful way in which you share your warmth and love for your family, I love your travel posts, but, these make me look forward to reading your blog even more.
As a man probably old enough to be you Grandfather who, to this day, falls in love again every day with the woman with terrible taste in men who generously agreed to be my wife, I thank you for your sharing these really heartening thoughts and feelings.