The New Yorker magazine is running a cartoon caption contest with an airline theme. How would you caption the picture above?
New Yorker Caption – What Is The Airline Flight Attendant Saying?
I was alerted to the contest by my friend Gib on Instagram:
It’s very simple, come up with a caption and post it online.
View this post on Instagram
Finalists will appear online and in print on October 31, 2022. Send your caption on Instagram to #MyNewYorkerCaption.
My favorite submission thus far is by beniboshi, who said:
“For my next trick, I’m going to make your leg room… disappear!”
I want to enter the contest too…but I’m not sure I can top that. Here are some thoughts:
- “Steak and lobster? Close your eyes and imagine it.”
- “I’m sorry your seat is broken. Let me see if I can fix it.”
- “When I wave my wand you will fill out that credit card application.”
- “The captain has asked me to speed up our delay.”
- “Abracadabra, you will make your connection.”
- “Why of course we are here for your safety.”
- “Our inflight entertainment system is broken, but fear not!”
- “In case of emergency, floor-level lighting and my magic wand will illuminate the exit path.”
I’m sure some of you can come up with something more clever. Do leave your captions in the comments section below.
photo credit: New Yorker
Sit down and shut up
Voila! First class!
Magically I will transform myself into a first responder…
This is hands-down my favorite. I always roll my eyes and chuckle when either the flight or cabin crew says some bullshit about FAs being there for our safety. Sure, Jan…66-year-old Karen is really going to do anything safety-related in actual emergency. And no, screaming “Brace! Brace! Brace!” is not something that anyone needs to specially train for.
“When I snap my fingers, you will awaken and will not remember that we sat on the tarmac for four hours without fresh air or the ability to stretch your legs.”
“Especially those of you seated near the toilets.”
“I will put you to sleep and you will say nothing, feel nothing and do nothing and you will be sitting in your seat and will wake up only when you have reached your destination.” (did I win?)
You’re upgrade cleared with time to spare, Mr So and so….smirking!!
The old saying “beam me up Scotty” comes to mind. Or, “I will beam you up to your destination and will arrive in no time.”
“Abracadabra! Presto change-o! Your miles are now worth half of yesterday’s value. Please also note the enhanced prices for award flights to the places you might actually want to fly in spring. Or summer. Or autumn. OK, winter, too, actually. (Mogadishu is wide open year round, as usual.)”
“The window shades are magically locked”
I’d like to turn you all into toads, but if you behave I’ll settle for revoking all your humans rights as long as you’re aboard this aircraft.