What happens when security guards engage in congress with the people they are supposed to ensure are lawfully quarantining? Answer: a wave of COVID-19. But now Qantas flight attendants have been summoned to the rescue in a new role as hotel wardens.
Security Guards “Guard” Guests Very Closely…
Trained security guards were hired by the Australian state of Victoria to ensure that incoming travelers respected the mandatory 14-day quarantine. In Victoria, returning passengers…including citizens…are assigned hotels in which they must serve out two weeks of quarantine before returning to normal life. As draconian as that sounds, it has effectively curtailed the spread of COVID-19 in Australia.
That is, until the guards couldn’t keep their pants on.
Victoria, a state which includes Melbourne, suddenly found that cases were surging (on a relative basis of course…104 new cases were reported yesterday in the whole country). What could be causing this? An investigation, including a review of CCTV footage, revealed that apparently sex-starved travelers were engaging in relations with the security guards.
Hotels have responded by firing many private security staff and an emergency field hospital is quickly being assembled in the heart of Melbourne.
Qantas Flight Attendants Will Become Quarantine Wardens
Faced with a trust deficit with private security and thousands of flight attendants currently grounded, Victoria has enlisted the help of Qantas to help mitigate the spread of virus.
An internal job listing posted to Qantas employees by the Department of Justice describes their new role as wardens:
“You will work within a number of Melbourne CBD hotels to support the compulsory hotel quarantine arrangements for people arriving from overseas. This includes following infection prevention and control processes.
“Reporting to a team leader, you will use your positive influencing skills to ensure that physical distancing measures and good hygiene practices are being adhered to at all times.”
Sounds interesting…I guess?
CONCLUSION
I doubt anyone who applied for a job as a flight Qantas flight attendant ever figured they would be guarding hotel hallways and lobbies to ensure that guests do not slip out. But it makes sense in a way. Flight attendants are trained to ensure passengers abide by safety protocols and this is somewhat an extension of that skill. And with many flight attendants receiving state wage support, this seems like a civic-minded way to pass time while flights are grounded.
image: Qantas
Australia’s stellar COVID response is falling apart. Melbourne is now back to the same levels of infection as 3 months ago. The hotel quarantine thing has been shambolic ( …shagbolic even). State borders are shutting down again; I expect a city-wide lockdown, sooner rather than later.
I saw the lockdown between NSW and Victoria…but let’s put in perspective. Los Angeles has more news cases in a day than the entire country of Australia in several weeks.
Hardly falling apart. Melbourne has a large increase in cases, the rest of Australia as a whole is reporting several new cases each day. My state (Queensland) has hardly reported any new cases for weeks, those that have tested positive are returned international travelers in quarantine.
Ah yes, let’s hire mostly young and very attractive flight attendants as guards, people who are typically very used to the random hookup culture in various cities with strangers due to the nature of their job.
Guaranteed more hookups will happen with flight attendants compared to security guards.
LOL …
Them guards must be Hawwt!!
Wow, this gives the term homecoming a whole new dimension.
This is hilarious.
This is supposed to prevent people from hooking up ?? Seriously, nothing says it’s great to be a flight attendant like “guarding” strangers in hotels from meeting by the ice machine to mingle anyway. You’d have to be “on guard” 24/7. Who actually thinks this would work ???????