I’m live-blogging my SAS EuroBonus SkyTeam Million Mile challenge this week. Click here for background and route information.
A young man took a strong fancy to the lovely barista in the SAS Gold Lounge in Copenhagen, but he really missed the signs that she just wasn’t interested…
As I walked up to the coffee bar to order a cappucinco, a young man in front of me was trying to make small talk with the barista.
“Another coffee? Already?” she asked.
At first, I was ready to give props to the man for trying. But it very quickly became clear 1.) she was grossed out by him and 2.) he did not get it as he droned on.
Does he think that by talking, talking, and talking some more she was going to give in?
The guy went back to his table for a moment so she turned to me and I smiled and said, “I’m only here to order coffee.”
She laughed. She got it.
He came back and asked her when she was on break and that he would like to get to know her better. Talk about putting someone on the spot…
How difficult, isn’t it? In that forward-facing customer position, you cannot just be rude. But it bothered me that this guy was so overbearing…I cannot stand these types of people.
I felt my paternal instinct kick in and considered asking if she wanted me to tell him to take a hike, but no, I did not want to become the creepy one or minimize her ability to take care of herself.
Indeed, I am already teaching my children to 1.) cultivate the skill of saying no and 2.) choose friends wisely (two mistakes that hurt me quite a bit in life) and that will come into play especially when my own daughter reaches dating age.
The barista handled it by calling her colleague over (a male…) and then disappearing. The guy came back and instead of finding her found a guy who hilariously looked just like him.
I’m so glad that I am so far removed from the dating scene…I cannot imagine dating these days. But while I encourage men to be bold…to talk to women and to get off the phone, men also need to be gentlemanly and recognize the signs: it’s such an important life skill.
May we all be more discerning…
He was lucky he was not arrested and handcuffed for he was nagging the US Attorney General nominee Pam Bondi.
The method which the Attorney General nominee goes through husbands gives a clue that she allows no impertinence , and carries a mean whip .
As a future Attorney General , she would be typically clueless , whilst self-delusional that the bureaucrats “adore” her.
She would be proudly riding the white horse , as it galloped , until the store owner came out and pulled out the plug connecting the machine to the wall electrical outlet .
Trump’s choices for government Ministers so far do not appear of the highest quality .
“Trump’s choices for government Ministers so far do not appear of the highest quality .”
Sadly, neither do your posts.
Thank you for quoting me in the anthology . Cheers .
lol.
Just wondering what this has to do with LALF?
Or do you just have TDS and feel like you have to drag politics into *EVERYTHING*
@haole … Thank you for your objection . However , if the nominees for Ministers are sub-standard , then where does that leave the rest of us ? That first nominee for Attorney General was ludicrous . We need a seasoned legal scholar and/or legal-law enforcement veteran , who is well-respected . Robert Kennedy,Sr. was such a person .
So I am assuming she was local but the idiot was flying out. How did he think it would work in her break? What an idiot! If I were the guy that replaced her I would tell him the time of my break just to see his reaction. LOL
The best male move is a knowing smile .
The best female move is a light touch .
In my single days, which was greater than 20 years ago, I quickly learned that the airport was a terrible idea in terms of meeting people.
These days, so many people start and maintain relationships based on phone/app interactions. I guess his plan here is to try to get her cell phone number and then begin a text message/social media relationship. It’s not my way, but I see people do it.
It’s certainly not acceptable to harass someone in their workplace, and I’m not endorsing harassing people, but for some people part of the process of getting better at meeting people includes being really bad at it at first.
I really like your take on this. It’s a fine balance. Being the knight in shining armor vs letting young people fight their own battles. I think the moral support would have helped enough. “I recognize this isn’t kosher but you’ve got it”
I appreciate the sentiment too of “let her take care of herself” and also “learn to say no”, but when it comes to men and hitting on women / girls, I have a hard time getting fully on board. A lot of us men suck, and when it comes to flirting, have gotten less skilled and more aggressive. Men don’t get the hint – you say no and they won’t give up and won’t leave. Even if you say you have a boyfriend or husband, these days even that doesn’t work. I’ve seen videos where women have to resort to go up to strangers and pretend they’re with them for a creepo who thinks he’s being a flirt to go away. Men have gotten super aggressive with their flirting and can’t take a hint, so while I appreciate the sentiment, I can’t get behind it and I do think sometimes another male needs to step in.
(Near) senior citizen perspective here: I heard about how my grandmother met my grandfather back in 1925 as well as my parent’s courtship in 1958. A few observations:
1) Men back then were gentlemen who knew when to give up AND women gave clearer signals as well as were more flirtatious and friendly.
2) Nearly all relationships back then were “intentional” towards marriage, rather than hook ups or even “dating”. “Dating” would be to get a coffee and talk, but the goal was generally marriage.
3) Surprisingly, my grandmothers were “strong women” who spoke their mind in a reasonable manner and if they wanted to be left alone, they didn’t need a white knight to step in. My maternal grandmother loved to watch boxing. The other one was flashed by a perv back in 1960 and she looked down and said “My husband’s is bigger” and walked off.
Even back when I grew up, kids rode our bikes without helmets when we were 8 and were told to go somewhere and play until the street lights come on. We were raised feral but yet seemed more civilized in many ways than today.
Now granted, I am happy that the cigarette smoking has been reduced, no more leaded gasoline, and I’m good with seatbelt laws.
Anyhoo, my grandmother would have told this guy to bugger off and with a smile and that would have been that.
It could just be me being an unc, but being locked inside home for a year, give or take, probably had a larger impact on social skills for people and we’re still getting over the hump.
People were like this before Covid,
Timely advice!
But while I encourage men to… get off the phone…
How does one spell LOVE?
T – I – M – E.
Yes!
@Moe … Relationships are spelled F-U-N .
“Love” is spelled T-E-D-I-O-U-S .
Can’t blame him – she does look like a snack.
Matt,
Mind your own business…I’m shooting my shot here!
Disgusting.
I’m dumbfounded by how other men (or young dumb ones) think these scenarios are going to play out. He’s transiting, obviously has a flight soon. She’s working. And he thinks that he’s SO charming that she’s going to indulge some wild fantasy of his on her break? He might as well have had some bow-chicka-boe-wow porn soundtrack playing on his phone while talking to her.
Creepy Romeo thinks he’s going to badger the lady into a ” date “. This is probably why he is alone in the first place. And if we’re lucky, we can successfully breed stupid out of our herd.
Uh..you live in LA right,haven’t you noticed all the ugly creepy men married to lovely young ladies…if Romeo had millions ( maybe he does)his actions taking her away from a dreary job would be most welcome.And don’t say that’s an American thing…did someone mention Danish Brigit Nielsen(cough,cough).
I’m generalizing, of course, but what I love about European woman, at least west of Russia and Ukraine, and particularly in Northern Europe, is that they are far less materialistic because they already enjoy a great quality of life. So why would they want to be with some ugly loser whose daddy has a lot of money? They don’t have to sell themselves to live a life they realize is not even fulfilling. Yes, I live in LA and see it all the time.
Tell me you don’t know Europe (or the U.S.) without telling me…
I stand by my observations. There are always exceptions.
@Matthew … see Asa’s comment , below .
Tiger Woods Swedish wife was no more than an au pair when she married him,then she went after that billionaire who tragically died in the helicopter crash( he didn’t succumb to her charms).Nicole Browns German mother basically looked the other. way when her daughter was being beaten by OJ,since he bought mama a home in Dana Point.One of my faves was cleaning lady( though also an art scholar) Polish Basia Piasecka,who so charmed granddad Johnson she walked away with the Johnson and Johnson fortune as one of the world’s richest women.Brits also squeeze all they can out of their charming accents.Europeans are just as guilty,though indeed east of the EU it became a profession.
Yep . Notice that the majority of these lessons involve the step of “marriage with blinders” ?
“Marriage” can be the irreversible mistake .
The news of the Secretary of Defense nominee’s apparently boorish or sordid accusations is also a lesson .
Why are you so off-topic? What does the Sec Def have to do this with?
@Matthew .., Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal ( 11-22-24 ) had a long article on the “Romeo” allegations about the Nominee’s police report .
Appears relevant to the concerns you raised in your original post , and apparently relevant to men’s and women’s behaviour whilst traveling . Her husband and children were staying at the same hotel , and he was the speaker at the Republican Women Conference . Perhaps people traveling for events ought to have a modicum of decorum ?
Secretary of defense…are we to believe Slovenian Melania married Donald for love alone?Ditto Ivana before her.
Don’t forget the Duke of Windsor abdicated the Crown of England in order to marry an American divorcee .
All women do grow up with a desire for financial security , regardless of whether they are northern European or north American , Some are clever at blinding a weak future husband .
If a future husband were wiser , he could Flip a Coin to decide , rather than become foolishly enamored , and led to his imprisonment .
Perhaps West of Warsaw Pact states…
Really Matt,you of all people dividing Germany again.LOL