Our first port stop on my Explora Journeys cruise was Castries, St. Lucia. St. Lucia is an island nation in the West Indies that gained independence from the United Kingdom in 1979. I wanted to visit the picturesque Pitons (volcanic mountains) during our all-day stop, but things did not quite work out as planned. Kyle already shared his take on the afternoon and now I will share mine.
A Poorly-Planned Shore Excursion To The Pitons In St. Lucia…
What I really wanted was a passport stamp, but I was told those are only available at Hewanorra International Airport (UVF) and even if I went to the airport I could not get one since I was not arriving or departing on an international flight. In retrospect, I probably should have just gone to the airport and tried, but had the bright idea to go visit The Pitons instead, two mountainous volcanic plugs and spires, located in Saint Lucia and a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
So we took a tender onshore (and frankly waited far too long to do so…it was already afternoon) and on arrival were met by a gaggle of men holding signboards trying to entice folks to do tours. These guys were aggressive and one came up to his immediately and began a heavy sales pitch.
Funny side story. We were not the only ship that docked that morning. The AIDAperla also pulled up, a vessel in the AIDA Cruises fleet, a German cruise line and subsidiary of Princess Cruises. In other words, all Germans. So as I was chatting with the hawker, a German girl came up to me and started speaking in German.
Kyle looked at her like she was crazy, but I responded in German and we had a short conversation. She was wondering where we were going and if she could tag along. I told her we would be driving to the mud baths and The Pitons and she said she just wanted to go to the beach. Smart girl.
Why did she come up to me? Probably because I was wearing Birkenstocks with socks…
So back to our guy. He wanted $300 for the three-hour excursion. I talked him down to $100 (should have talked him down to $50 or better yet, walked away, but since the taxi prices were so high in Barbados and there were six of us, I thought $100 was reasonable).
After we agreed on $100, he led us to an adjacent parking lot where he directed us into a Nissan Maxima…
Five seats for seven people?
“Oh, the kids can sit on your laps. No problem.”
Yes, problem.
So he walked over to a guy sleeping in his van, woke him up, and explained that we would like to see The Pitons and go to the mud bath. I watched closely and the driver pulled out a 100 East Caribbean Dollar note (about 37 USD) and handed it to the guy. That’s quite a decent commission…
Tip: The parking lot is where you can get a deal – as you exit the cruise terminal, turn left and negotiate directly with the drivers in the parking lot. Bypass the touts (guys with signs) outside the terminal.
So we were off. The driver proudly proclaimed he was a police officer on the island, but enjoyed doing tours during his time-off. He also mentioned he had an aunt who had a rum factory and that we could stop for free samples…
Oh, the roads. The switchbacks. It was like driving in Gran Canaria, only when you are not the driver you get carsick…
I was feeling a bit of motion sickness, but Augustine and Kyle’s family were doing very poorly.
45 minutes later we were still driving. Kyle piped up because this was supposed to be a 90-minute round-trip journey. How much longer?
Oh, 15 more minutes the driver said. But if we wanted to stop for rum, we could do so.
No, let’s keep going.
15 minutes passed and we were still going. In fact, we could not even see The Pitons.
But we sat quietly for five more minutes. I could see, though, that Kyle was becoming very uncomfortable.
Finally, Kyle said, “Look. You said 15 minutes 20 minutes ago. How much longer? Where is it?”
His response?
“15 more minutes.”
Nah brah, Kyle said. “This is ridiculous. Turn around and let’s go back.”
The driver looked confused and then explained that it was two hours each way…
I burst out laughing, but no one else seemed to be amused.
The driver suggested we stop for rum.
No, let’s turn around.
“Just 10 more minutes.”
To the rum?
No, to The Pitons.
Kyle wanted to insist that we return, but I’m the kind of guy who shows up with only minutes to spare before a flight and I thought we had time…I said let’s do 10 minutes, but the stopwatch has already started and we will stop and turn around in 10 minutes and not a second over.
The poor guy gunned it, but an oversized Toyota van doesn’t have much pep.
Five minutes later The Pitons came into view.
“Stop the car!”
No, we didn’t make it to The Pitons, but at least we got to see them from a distance…they were beautiful.
After five minutes, we headed back.
He suggested we stop for some rum, but we declined…again.
I did have him pull over to a point overlooking the valley below. The clouds had rolled back in, though, so the picture was not nearly as beautiful as it would have been 15 minutes earlier when we still searching for The Pitons.
We got back in the car and the driver begged me to stop for some rum.
No thanks. Not today. Not now.
I tried to make small talk as we drove. Although St. Lucia is an independent state, it is part of the Commonwealth of Nations and Charles III is the head of state. I asked our driver if he liked King Charles.
“No way! He’s horrible. He doesn’t give us enough money. I hate Britain.”
Yeah, but I bet you’d hate life without the UK even more…
It took 20 minutes less to get back…even though we took the same roads.
But we made it back with plenty of time to board our tender back to the ship.
I gave the guy his $100 and shook his hand…no hard feelings.
Yet it was a pretty foolish afternoon. Even a little bit of research could have spared us from this problem, so I’m certainly not looking for your pity.
But you know something? It was a fun afternoon.
Pirates of the Caribbean . With polite English . Who would have thought it ?
( At least it was not the murderous morons of Haiti . Even the Haitians flee Haiti .)
Stop with the ridiculous title. You didn’t do your research and looking at the pics, you didn’t go on an approved taxi or tour.
Yes, I made a mistake and take responsibility for it.
I hope to return to St. Lucia to visit the new Hyatt Zoëtry Marigot Bay property and will try to do it better next time.
You really want to return? The way I see it is St. Lucia is really for people who enjoy tropical scenery but aren’t beach people. It’s like Costa Rica. The volcanic nature of the surface means there are no turquoise beaches. My thinking is why travel 2000 miles to the Caribbean to swim in ugly water. If cruises didn’t stop in St. Lucia, there’s no reason to visit. Costa Rica at least has exceptional wildlife and is not in the Caribbean it can be argued.
I’ve never heard of half day tours to the Soufrier Volcano (Sulphur Springs) taken by car. Any local would advise the boat tours.
I’d strongly encourage you to retract your problematic comment about “hating life without the UK even more”. It’s extremely ill-informed and distasteful based on context you likely aren’t aware of, but could do well to educate yourself on.
You’re welcome to enlighten me and if I find your statement compelling, I will retract the comment.
Not the same person, but I do consider it a pretty big faux pas to publicly post political discussions without permission – especially about domestic politics in a country you don’t live in. Not quite the same, but I can’t imagine you’d love if what you say when some taxi driver overseas asks you what you think about Joe Biden or whatever got posted online either. I at least have definitely had my share of taxi conversations I have to either laugh off or make an awkward comment around (“he doesn’t give us enough money”) that I’d feel pretty angry if they were used as a public position statement in an online political argument.
And I mean I’m not saying this guy was a scholar with erudite opinions, but the throwaway line adds basically nothing to your story and reads more like a non sequitur shot at those who do not support the monarchy in St. Lucia than at whatever this guy thinks.
Sure, “problematic” isn’t my favorite word choice here (or ever), but even if you don’t remove it on this post, maybe something to keep in mind.
You make a fair point (though my opinions on Biden are not something I would want kept confidential).
A white person from the Global North making reductive, throwaway comments about the very real complex colonial legacy of St. Lucia and its damaged relationship with its former enslavers doesn’t make for good optics, I’ll say that.
Also, St. Lucia does not benefit from the UK in any way, certainly not financially, by virtue of its membership of the Commonwealth of Nations. I’m not sure how you think that works, tbh.
No, Matthew is right in this case. Let’s be honest that the bulk of civilization in places like the Caribbean and even Hawaii or Tahiti are because of European explorers who traded and set up camp. Without the British, Dutch, French, or Spanish there would be no electricity, no cars, no refrigeration, no internet, no television, and not even basic gauze pads.
The only reason they subsist today is because they live on islands with a natural environment pleasing to tourists. They have no part in the waterfalls, mountains, or in the case of Bora Bora the beautiful water. All the tourist facilities and equipment like commercial airliners or localizers are made by other people. Maybe they catch the fish but even the plates, utensils, and cooking gas is supplied by others.
In the case of the Caribbean, unlike Polynesia, without European explorers most of the residents like in St. Lucia, Haiti, or the Dominican Republic wouldn’t be there in the first place. It’s always funny people from DR complain about Christopher Columbus in school, who we now found out likely was Jewish, when their people weren’t in the Caribbean when Columbus reached the new world.
We absolutely condemn slavery just like we condemn the enslavement of Europeans by the Mongols and Arabs. We wish the beaches in the Caribbean were just for us and inhabited only by use. Who wouldn’t? However, to not point out that every facet of modern technology since the 1500s that others have is 100% the product of Europeans is wrong. Be grateful for the air conditioning while sitting in a car you couldn’t build in 10,000 years even with picture directions instead of complaining. We are the ones who should complain that our ancestors made the mistake and we can’t have these once uninhabited islands for ourselves.
You’re saying that slavery was benevolent and that black people had no hope of civilisation without the benefit of white intervention. A narrative of white superiority, and framing slavery as a net positive, is a hopelessly racist narrative.
Yeah, he just used a pretty long word salad to do it.
The islands were not uninhibited the Arawak Indians were there until Europeans showed up and killed them. Then they brought slaves more people whose lives they destroyed. Barbados is not in St. Lucia and had someone done their homework they would have known how long the ride was
Look at the mentality of the man who said the King doesn’t give them more money. Why should the King give them money in the first place? What do they do that justifies any free money? Every creature comfort they have from Coke to indoor plumbing is because of charity or them living on an island where European or European derived tourists visit and where Britain once ruled. Britain once ruled America. Why shouldn’t the King give us money.
You need to learn how to go with the flow. Slow down. Relax. Take the rum stop. Breathe. When you’re on the island you need to be on island time.
We hiked to the top of the pitons. It is a minimum 9f 3 hours I would say to the top and back down
But really beautiful and fun!
Never tried Birks w/ socks, but they look good on you.
Reminds me of the rip-off cruise ship port shuttles in Jamaica.
Yeah, but I bet you’d hate life without the UK even more…
Do you live here? I’m disappointed that you write things like this.. . Would you place similar bets in other colonial areas?
Your bet is wrong and even an insult to locals. SL is independent and what UK brought was taken again. Google for the west indies children.
Thank you for saying this. I was so put off by it, and it’s an extremely privileged and ignorant thing to say.
White folks really want to pretend Colonialism was great for everyone.
Do your research ahead of time! Cruise Critic is a good resource… If you had done so, you’d find Spencer Ambrose provides a speedboat tour from the cruise terminal at Castries that visits the mud baths, the Pitons, spends several hours at Sugar Beach between the Pitons with lunch provided and gets you back to the port with plenty of time to spare… All for around $100 The only reasonable way to get to the Pitons on a cruise stop is by sea.
Wow, 25 years later and it seems the same. We stayed at the then Hilton near Soufriere. Side note, great hotel not sure the name now. Back on point, that road to the Pitons makes most roller coasters look tame. I have a private pilot’s license and I got motion sick.
Also, I never encountered more aggressive ” merchants” in my life. No is not in their vocabulary. We had lunch at an open air bar in Soufriere where there were men doing road work nearby. One, with a pickaxe over his shoulder came over and suggested we buy them all a Coke. Since he was better armed I agreed. I still remember that experience 25 years later.
Hate to say woudda, shoudda, coudda but you should have taken the excursion offered by the cruise line itself. More money you might say? Well you were on a very high-end cruise so why try to save a few bucks on a one time experience that needs to go right? Guaranteed none of this nonsense would have happened. You know better.
It’s totally on me. I take the blame. But in my defense, I had just flown from LA to Toronto to Bridgetown with less than three hours of sleep in between in YYZ and then getting caught up on work on the ship before the last-minute shore excursion. And I hate organized tours. But I’ll try to do better next time.
Really short Haircut for the kid in that hot humid weather!