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Home » Family Travel » Family Refuses To Give Up Toddler’s Seat For Disabled Man…And They Were Justified
Family Travel

Family Refuses To Give Up Toddler’s Seat For Disabled Man…And They Were Justified

Matthew Klint Posted onDecember 21, 2023December 21, 2023 32 Comments

a baby in a red blanket

If you buy a seat you are entitled to keep it, even if the seat is theoretically an extra one or not necessary. A family was not in the wrong for refusing to give up their toddler’s seat to a disabled man and the flight attendant should have backed off immediately.

Family Was Correct To Insist That Toddler Keeps Seat On Longhaul Flight

As told on Reddit, a family of three boarded a 10-hour intercontinental flight. The parents decided to purchase an extra seat for their toddler, still under two, n order to have extra room, even though it was not necessary.

As the last people were boarding another flight attendant (FA) came toward us with a tall guy using a cane. She pointed at the empty seat between me and husband and asked the dude if that would be okay.

Husband said “excuse me what do you mean?”

FA: “this gentleman is in some pain and needs space to stretch his legs, the only bulkhead seat we have open is between the two of you. If you’d like to move next to each other I’m sure the gentleman wouldn’t mind sitting in the aisle or window.”

Me: “that’s not an open seat, that’s baby’s seat.”

FA: “madam children under 2 aren’t allocated seats. Please let the gentleman sit down.” (We had blankets and a couple of kiddos toys on the middle seat.)

Husband: (taking out passports and boarding cards to show her.) “yes we know you don’t give infants seats which is why I paid for it my son is sitting here, I’m not holding him for a 10 hour flight at night. We planned ahead and I’m sorry but this man can’t sit here!”

The flight attendant summoned the purser who agreed with the family, thus resolving the matter. It isn’t clear where the man with the cane sat.

Like View From The Wing, I fall firmly on the side of the family here. They chose to buy a seat for their toddler even though it was not necessary and making them give it up was totally out of line. In fact, even asking was inappropriate.

I’m not going to scold the disabled man for not planning ahead. That criticism may be appropriate, but maybe the pain came up suddenly or all the aisle seats were taken when he bought his ticket. Without making any assumptions, if that was the case and I required an aisle seat or extra legroom seat, I would take another flight…we do need to be proactive in tending to our needs.

CONCLUSION

I am firmly on the side of the family, who had every right to reasonably object to the request that their child relinquish an assigned seat.

Even without knowing the full specifics of the tall guy’s planning (or lack thereof), it is a dangerous game to hope that everything works out at the airport. If you have a specific need, book with a carrier that allows you to reserve a specific seat and reserve that seat. Otherwise you may find yourself in a very unpleasant situation.

image: Emirates

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About Author

Matthew Klint

Matthew is an avid traveler who calls Los Angeles home. Each year he travels more than 200,000 miles by air and has visited more than 135 countries. Working both in the aviation industry and as a travel consultant, Matthew has been featured in major media outlets around the world and uses his Live and Let's Fly blog to share the latest news in the airline industry, commentary on frequent flyer programs, and detailed reports of his worldwide travel.

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32 Comments

  1. Derek Reply
    December 21, 2023 at 4:12 pm

    He had a cane. That is not something that pops up suddenly.

    He should have bought his own extra leg room seat or pay for a higher cabin. He is another leech who tried to get something for free from someone who paid for it

    • Alert Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 5:32 pm

      But he was on his way to an orthopedic doctor .

    • Aaron Reply
      December 22, 2023 at 3:44 am

      How was he getting something for free? Did he not pay for the flight?

      • Derek Reply
        December 22, 2023 at 9:17 am

        He wanted an extra legroom seat for free. Thus, we tried to get something for nothing

        Either pay for it or pay via elite status

  2. Joe Chivas Reply
    December 21, 2023 at 4:14 pm

    If the man with the cane was a person of color, the white couple absolutely should have given him the baby’s seat to correct for past injustices. The white privilege we see on flights today is appalling.

    • BHN Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 4:35 pm

      Since when is refusing to give up a seat, for which you paid, white privilege? Not every issue is a matter of race. Get over it.

      • Juan Piedra Reply
        December 21, 2023 at 4:37 pm

        I’m pretty sure Joe’s post was a troll. And a good one, at that.

        • Jim Lovejoy Reply
          December 23, 2023 at 11:55 am

          Every post of Joe’s is a troll. And the next good one he posts will be his first.

      • ps241 Reply
        December 21, 2023 at 10:14 pm

        You must be new here.

    • Todd Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 4:51 pm

      You neglected to include a ‘/s’ so we know you’re being sarcastic and not a twat.

      • Jim Lovejoy Reply
        December 23, 2023 at 11:56 am

        Insert ‘why not both’ gif here.

      • Nunya Reply
        December 25, 2023 at 12:54 am

        Get a life. My baby isn’t giving up their seat for anybody on a ten hour flight. Black or otherwise you fish head!

    • ted poco Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 5:32 pm

      I like your assumption that the couple were white, Don’t even know that this was a US flight.

    • Elizabeth Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 9:11 pm

      No said the race of the couple or the man, and I am sorry for the injustices of past but no one should have to give up something they paid for…if they had and the toddler cried most of the flight then everyone including the man would have been upset and blamed them for being inconsiderate. A no win for them…better they kept the seat.

    • Niteowl Reply
      December 24, 2023 at 8:00 pm

      Not a chance in Hades

    • Mary Morehouse Reply
      December 26, 2023 at 3:03 pm

      So if the blind msn was white or anyoher natioality they wouldn’t need to give up that seat they paid for. Besides what injustis did this family do? What happened in the past does not mean they have to make up to everyone of any color for. They didn’t do it it’s not there responsibility. Did that man offer to pay them for the seat that they paid for. If he had they might have done it differently and maybe not. They purchased that seat to make their trip more comfortable forr them and they could do that.

  3. NedsKid Reply
    December 21, 2023 at 4:24 pm

    1.) Canes do pop up suddenly. Depends on what your boarding number is at checkin on Southwest.

    2.) In reality, most airlines (at least US-based) have in their contract of carriage that they will make reasonable effort to accommodate a specific type of seat (as long as within the same class of service paid) needed for medical or disability reasons. But advance notice is required. This is why most airlines soft-block some of the bulkhead or near bulkhead seats (with moveable aisle armrests) until airport control. Even on a ULCC, I’ve not seen someone who gave an airline a couple days notice get denied a seat needed for medical reason.

    3.) This initial Flight Attendant must not be a member of AFA. Sara Nelson is the leader of banning lap children and insisting all be in their own seats for safety reasons. I am not entirely in disagreement, though her ideas of enforcement are a bit draconian.

  4. Frank Reply
    December 21, 2023 at 5:02 pm

    Not just Sara Nelson. The following is a direct quote from the FAA web site:
    The safest place for your child under the age of two on a U.S. airplane is in approved child restraint system (CRS) or device, not in your lap. Your arms aren’t capable of holding your in-lap child securely, especially during unexpected turbulence, which is the number one cause of pediatric injuries on an airplane.

    The FAA strongly urges you to secure your child in an approved CRS or other approved device for the entirety of your flight. Buying a ticket for your child is the only way to guarantee that you will be able to use a CRS. It’s the smart and right thing to do so that everyone in your family arrives safely at your destination.

  5. PolishKnight Reply
    December 21, 2023 at 5:31 pm

    It appears that the FA thought that the seat was empty (not paid for) and this would help solve a problem for a handicapped person she was trying to help. When the passengers called her out that this was a paid seat, she didn’t want to back down right away. We see this doubling down in authority with FA’s sometimes such as Matt experienced and others. I’m reminded of the Stanford Prison Experiment. Look it up.

    The paid for seat helped to provide safety for the child as Frank and the AFA union point out so they’re in the right. If the FA wanted to hep the passenger, the wise thing to do would be to ask a passenger in a nicer seat to swap AND to offer compensation for doing so.

    To this day, I remember when I was a young flyer accepting an FA’s request to give up my seat for an old lady and the FA stuck me in the worst seat on the plane in the back. Never again. Unless it’s an upgrade or no harm to me, I’m staying put. I’d paid my penance.

  6. Stuart Reply
    December 21, 2023 at 5:39 pm

    I really don’t understand why this even got highlighted anywhere. So what? The FA asked, she got the purser, everyone moved on. Not a huge deal. It’s not like anyone got into a screaming match or beat downs. It was discussed, it was resolved. I imagine it happens 1000 times a day but because the parents felt a need to post it on reddit, somehow this becomes news?

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 6:50 pm

      I found it interesting because I think the FA should have asked differently before assuming the extra seat could just be taken.

      • Interested Traveler Reply
        December 22, 2023 at 7:58 am

        Last September, I had a similar experience, my wife and I were flying economy internationally and we purchased the middle seat so that we could have more room.

        We followed the instructions for buying an extra seat and when a Gate Agent approached our row and told a passenger to sit in the middle seat, I said to the Gate Agent, we paid for the seat and she looked at me dumbfounded.

        There was some back and forth and eventually she said, what if I refund you for the seat or this woman can’t travel today.

        I said, we would rather have the room and that was that, we were able to keep the seat, in talking with the FA the Gate Agent was none too happy, but ultimately she agreed we did the right thing.

    • Johannes Bols Reply
      December 21, 2023 at 10:03 pm

      The FA should’ve checked the manifest before assuming the child was traveling for free. It was inappropriate and unprofessional to approach the couple without doing that. After all, aren’t cabin crew trained to THINK AHEAD?

      • GREGG Reply
        December 22, 2023 at 11:32 pm

        No thinking by FA’s. They are only there for our safety. HAHAHAHA

    • Uri Reply
      December 22, 2023 at 4:14 am

      I also wish there would be a brawl on board, or they’d be banned from the airline, anything instead of the peaceful anti climax. But alas, people are sometimes reasonable.
      Why is it news? Not much of a story, but you read it, and even bothered to comment (me too).
      Click bated, mission accomplished. That’s all there is to it.

      Gonna click some ads now.

    • Emach Reply
      December 22, 2023 at 10:08 am

      Matty wants clicks, Matty posts stuff that gets him clicks. Simple equation

  7. Pjj Reply
    December 22, 2023 at 7:10 am

    I pay frequently for certain seats and many times as much as 50 to 80 bucks so I’m not giving up my seat either

    Bulk head seats cost more too and obviously this family planned ahead as many dont and expect others to change their seats esp for a long haul flight that to me is very inconsiderate

  8. Tee Jay Reply
    December 22, 2023 at 9:20 am

    As Paul Harvey said- “The rest of the story”… When deplaning, the guy with the cane bolted into the terminal after being miraculously healed by Jetway Jesus.

  9. Mike Skaggs Reply
    December 22, 2023 at 9:26 am

    I believe about 1% of these “switching seats” stories and I don’t believe this one.

  10. Travelgirl Reply
    December 22, 2023 at 10:34 am

    I will be traveling with a cane tomorrow because I recently had a knee replacement. I’ve selected a seat that will best meet my needs. Take responsibility and pay the fee, is necessary, to get a seat that meet your needs. Poor planning on your part is not the responsibility of other passengers.

  11. Jesda Gulati Reply
    December 22, 2023 at 10:51 am

    Pay your way or go eat hay.

  12. Tony Reply
    December 22, 2023 at 3:21 pm

    Why did majority of parents not buying a seat for their little one? If severe AND sudden turbulence occurs while flying, parents may not be able hold their baby, and the result would be unimaginable.
    When my son had his first long haul transpacific flight at 1 year old, airlines gate agents initially stop us from bringing infant car seat along. Only when we showed them we had purchased a seat for my son, and the sticker on the car seat indicated it can be used on the plane, gate agents finally agree. While on the plane, we have to demonstrate to a flight attendant on board that my son’s car seat can be fit and securely fasten. Later a senior FA told me that very few parents buy a seat for their babies/toddlers.

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