True story. I recently had the oddest TSA security experience at Los Angeles International Airport that has left me wondering what possibly could have triggered the full body scanner to pinpoint my…package.
TSA Body Scanner Flags My Suspicious Package
I’ve been a TSA PreCheck member from the program’s inception and to its credit, being able to bypass removing my laptop or liquids from my carry-on bag has been a huge deal in terms of helping me breeze through airports across the USA.
Typically, PreCheck members will pass through metal detectors at US checkpoints, though occasionally you will be directed through a full body scanner. On a recent trip out of LAX Airport, I was directed to use the full body scanner, presumably to speed up the long line waiting to use the metal detector.
I used to be a harsh critic of these scanners, derisively called nude-o-scopes, because their early variants literally performed a strip search of the passenger, allowing TSA agents to view graphic images of each traveler in a manner I felt constituted an unwarranted violation of privacy.
But the technology has improved, with software masking the more graphic images to reveal imagery like the picture above. What you want when you go through these machines is a green screen that simply says “OK.” If the machine detects something (and something as trivial as a tissue in your pocket can alert the machine) it will place a yellow square around that part of your body, prompting an area-specific pat-down from a TSA agent.
Well, I noticed an uncomfortable look spread across the face of the TSA agent. He motioned me to take a look at the machine…where I saw that there was a yellow square right around my…member.
I snickered. Perhaps this would have been the time for a joke about a happy ending, but I could see the TSA agent was horrified. It was a big Latino guy and Latino guys tend to be so Alpha masculine (I’m generalizing, of course). He apologized twice before he even explained and said he was going to have to “check out that area with the back of my hands.”
What proceeded was a search up my legs, starting at the knee all the way to contact…followed by the back of his hands brushing heavily against my “suspicious package” about four times before he was satisfied it was just me…there were no foreign objects hidden there.
In all my years of security checkpoints, something like this has never happened…it was so odd. But it was clearly so much worse for the TSA agent than for me. Poor guy…
Don’t feel too badly for him because despite appearances the overwhelmingly most likely – though concededly not the only possible – explanation is that he set this up so that he could touch you precisely in this spot. The chances of this “malfunction” happening randomly in that particular spot are vanishingly small.
Yeah sure, the poor overworked TSA employee just went hackerman on that scanner putting his job at risk just to feel some random guy’s package. If he had such skills he would probably be into a more lucrative less extenuating job.
Both of them were victims of a lackluster enervating system. Who knows, perhaps the zipper was a little to metallic or the machine was a badly maintained PoS.
You just got assaulted
I saw the screen – it was just like the image I created above.
I doubt there is a way to manipulate that screen to target certain areas…
There are only two possibilities I can think of: 1) that the machine had a strange and unexplainable malfunction in that exact and particularly sensitive area without any explanation; or 2) there is a way to manipulate the reading or to otherwise make it look like the alarm is going off to people unfamiliar with how the machine works, when it isn’t. I would say that option 2 is vastly more likely. He spends all day, every day working with that machine and you have likely never had a reason to think much about how it works or what a real alarm looks like. Of course, I can’t say for sure, but the probabilities involved make this a rational deduction from the facts.
I was once assaulted in this way by a TSA agent who took particular relish touching my groin after a scan and I doubted then, and still doubt, that he had any real basis to do it.
Any padding in the area? I made the mistake of wearing horseback riding pants (with padding similar to those made for cycling) through TSA once. Got a similar pat-down. Won’t make that mistake again. Will save those particular pants for days I’m not also flying.
Just the same type of briefs I’ve worn for years…
I always took you for a boxer man.
I told you on a previous post that TSA is a total joke. They have absolutely no standards. What exactly the machine found there? Absolutely nothing suspicious. It is a clown show.
I’m truly curious what set it off.
Could it have been the zip on your trousers perhaps?
Odd as if everyone’s zip set off the scanner they would be busy, but did those trousers have a longer or thicker zip than most?
If it’s not a function of the clothing, genitals’ extra-skewed positioning, fidgeting within the scanner, or the scanner being set for “female”, then maybe it could be a function of the software’s interaction with a localized radiation beam disruption happening to hit near the area at the same time — in the latter case, I think that could be a rather novel way to “interfere with the screening process” and be a way for someone to get in trouble if done deliberately. But this does have me wondering if any of the scanners currently used at US airports have software allowing for “randoms” to hit select areas of a scanned individual so as to send more people to “secondary” for more manual searches of “areas of concern”.
Do recently circumcised, bandaged penises on male travelers generally set of alarms on the TSA’s strip search machines? Maybe some males will again test the machines with sanitary pad linings on male underwear and adult diapers to see how things go nowadays with the strip search machines.
I had the same issue last week at the Jackson, MS airport (JAN). The TSA agent was very apologetic and was clearly uncomfortable having to do the pat check ‘up there’. They offered to do it in a private room, but I figured it would be a cursory check and wasn’t worth the bother. This is the first time I’ve ever experienced that kind of check as well!
I’ve been flying for years. I’ve never had this happen until 2 days ago in Phoenix. It was exactly the same situation for me. Until reading this thread, I’ve been racking my mind and feeling a bit confused. Noting the high increase in number of occurrences of this nearly identical procedure; I think it’s safe to say that something changed with TSA protocol and this isn’t an isolated thing.
I am laughing. And of course that would be wrong so I’ll just stop it.
I’d like to feel your package.
I was thinking the same thing!
Stop shoving things up your butt.. it tends to set off TSA. I know from experience
Bunch of sickos groping without reasonable suspicion. You do know they stopped screening for predators several years ago in order to get more applicants?
Do you have any evidence that TSA has ever hired an RSO?
The TSA has had some employees who have committed crimes against the bodies of people who had the misfortune of being around them. Some of those crimes have been of a sexual nature. Of the sex offenders employed by the TSA, not all were PSC screeners. TSA FAMS also has had its sex offenders.
You’re not answering the question.
The question is, do you have any evidence that the TSA has hired a registered sex offender?
If so, present the evidence.
I’m not an expert on TSA’s hiring practices, but I know a lot about RSO laws, jobs, and hiring. My guess is that TSA does not hire RSOs but if there is evidence to the contrary, I’d like to see it.
This happens to me about 8/10 times I fly. From a us airport. It’s uncomfortable but you just get used to it. My travel partner always bets on if will happen or not. It does.
8/10 times? Do you wear a ring or have a peircing?
No, and just normal boxers or boxer briefs . I fly about 12-18 times a year, it started happening about a year and a half ago. It happens every time in Denver, my home base. I’ve also had it happen this year multiple times in Palm Springs, 3 times at pdx, once in Bozeman, and twice at lax. Also it happened four times at dfw in the same day- really long layover and I left multiple times to get fresh air- same agent even had to pat me down twice that time. They always offer a private room to do it, but I just laugh and say I’m used to it. Only thing I can think of is I did have hernia surgery when I was a baby… other than that I have nothing out of the ordinary in that region.
Same here, just about any time I go through the scanner. Fortunately with Pre-check I never have to go through the scanner. Except just a few weeks ago I was directed through the scanner even though I was in a dedicated pre-check line. The agent told me that they randomly select for it but this was the first time ever for me since being pre-check. Sure enough, I had to be patted down in the groin area. Something tells me they need to improve their algorithm. But seriously, we’ve been pre-vetted, enough with the body scanner in Pre-Check. I’ll bet dollars to donuts that they have never once caught a true security issue using body scanner in the pre-check line.
There is a false sense of security, or decency, with having the same sex perform a more thorough screening. There’s no guarantee the person is not LGBTQ or whatever goes on today. Hell before we know it your pets won’t even be safe from some deviant screener copping a feel.
No time to read for now, but I was told similar things could happen if you have a metal fly and it’s down
That’s interesting…. perhaps that explains it, though I was wearing the same dungarees I wear all the time. I do have a metal zipper and metal clasp.
I go through the same security checkpoint at LAX so often…I don’t understand why sometimes my belt sets it off, and sometimes not. Sometimes my shoes set it off, sometimes not. Sometimes my watch sets it off, sometimes not.
Do they really “recalibrate” the machine every day?
Well, if you have a metal zipper nad, it was probably that nad that did it.
It happened to me once at PDX, and I did have my zipper down… I’ve had problems with metal buttons on Fjallraven pants a few times. But also sometimes the same pair of pants won’t trigger anything… So who knows…
For a frequent traveller, may I highly recommend a plastic belt buckle for travel days?
Although certainly not the hight of style, there are ones out there that are fashionable enough, and it’s really a nice little optimization to the security routine. There’s one scanner in the whole system, (pre-check, T3, SFO) that used to hate my belt buckle. It’s not life changing, but it’s nice to not worry about it anymore.
I wasn’t wearing a belt here.
That was specifically in reply to “I don’t understand why sometimes my belt sets it off” in the post above. Helps with metal detectors, not scanners, of course…
IME, they can alter the setting on the machine and in that the sensitivity.
About a year ago in LHR T5 fast lane there was a long queue made up of 90% men, two guys were frisking as every man passing through set the arch off. Two women were standing bored. Then one of the women stepped forward, pressed something on the side of the arch and called the next man through and he didn’t set the alarm off, then another and another passed through and none set it off. The guy frisking finished, she steps back and the next guy through set the alarm off, she steps forward to the scanner again and several more guys pass through without setting the alarm off and so it went on. I got lucky and passed through without a problem as she held down whatever the control was.
So yes, there is control in the immediate area at least at LHR.
That is only lucky TSA screener. I would certainly have not minded to switch jobs with him for that day
Did it move when they did?
At TLV airport in Israel, I was forced to unzip and unfasten my pants.
That happens to me almost 95% of the time. The scan detects something somewhere on me, always a different spot. As a result, I get the “white glove” treatment almost every flight. It use to be 100% of the time, but lately they have tuned the scanner so its not as offten.
Just Big Jimmy and the twins officer…..
I never had an issue until after I had a left hip replacement. Now, every time I go through the ‘nude mage’ scanner, I get yellow-boxed in the groin or one or both hips. Curiously, many times when it’s only one hip highlighted, it’s not the replaced hip.
The pack of the hand pat down is annoying and uncomfortable, but I chalk it up to the machinery being a little wonky.
Now you are just straight-up bragging…
A very erotic post……. Thanks for the treat! (^_^)
LOL Finally! That also happened to me at LAX – altho it was my fault. Made the rookie mistake of thinking they have Pre at the TBIT to 4 checkpoint so I went thru the imager with stuff in my pockets since I was planning on using the metal detector.
The last 5 times I have flown I have gotten the red square right over my bits. I personally think it’s the pants I am wearing as I have even removed the draw string.
Wonder if they would accommodate a request to try a different scanner?
You got to experience some
Twisted
Sexual
Assault
What TSA really means
If you were in a precheck line, why were you directed to the mw scanner rather than a metal detector? Did you dlset off the metal detector?
Because the metal detector line was 6-7 deep. I think they were trying to be efficient…?
I get this literally every time I go through one of these. Thankfully, with pre-check, that’s fairly rare.
No, I don’t know why. Yes, I know what it implies. No, sadly, it’s not that.
This situation reminded me of the 20-year old Australian commercial for underwear.
https://youtu.be/fsDSKJvOLFo
Funny.
If you’re going to allow URL’s, here’s the classic scene in Spinal Tap that is applicable. I’m surprised none of the youngsters here have mentioned it:
Keep in mind there are two coincidences in a row here… first getting directed to the NoS in the first place, and the second being the anomaly. Maybe next time insist on opting out? I’ve had a few close calls and scares (had to cut into the VIP line in Mexico City, switch lines in Singapore, a pretty intense opting out in London Gatwick), but in hundreds and hundreds of flights I’ve always managed to avoid going through a NoS.
Any chance you might have moved a bit during the scan? Or stood a touch sideways? I’m wondering if an incorrect stance could cause the scanner to have issues scanning that area. Just a very wild guess.
I don’t think so, but I suppose it was possible.
Might you perchance had been thinking of Heidi as you stepped through the scanner?
Ha. Nope, not that.
Matthew, this happens all too often for some of us. It was funny at first but I’m tired of the looks and comments I get from women in the Precheck line when the TSA agent yells OMG! It make me feel like just a peace of meat. I suggest the following book to help cope.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-live-with-a-huge-penis-richard-jacob/1111616316
The scanners do throw up random items to test out the operatives and their thoroughness. I was stopped a couple of weeks back with something showing on my calf, that was quick and easy because I was wearing shorts and the guy could quite clearly see there was nothing there.
I have had the ‘crotch’ patch show up once too. I was offered the search either at the side of the machine or in private. I opted for private and once in the room, I was offered the choice of a thorough frisk or I could just drop my pants for a visual check. I dropped my pants, he didn’t see anything my gym mates don’t see in the showers every day and that doesn’t phase me, being frisked there was not something I wanted to do. If the same thing happens again, I’d opt for the same again.
That’s interesting – you had the option to show the TSA your crotch?
Other readers – have you had this option?
It was at LHR so no TSA involved.
I recall reading somewhere that some (presumably) gay TSA agents would push the female button for male passengers they wanted to grope so the scanner would return something unusual in that area and they could perform a pat down there….though if this agent seemed so uncomfortable, maybe they pushed the wrong button by accident.
Flew out of BUR (Burbank) last month, Precheck, and exact same happened to me. And there was a line of 5
guys who were being checked for same body part. Never had my member felt 4 times before at TSAand then to pull out my waistband (and underwear) so agent could look down it. Unbelievable!
Agent said that the machines do this alarm often and it is programmed to do so as a test. Talk about an utterly ridiculous test. Next I expect to have a finger up my rear…
I haven’t had the crotch show up, but loose blue genes frequently trigger an inspection of the lower leg. I’m guessing a difference between where the detector thinks where the clothing layer and the skin layer are, has a significant difference. Tights are probably the least likely to trigger a check, but then the airline might think it was inappropriate clothing.
That being said, I believe the people at the elevated desk have some control over “random” additional screening. The screener doesn’t know what triggered it, but certain people are more likely to get a random inspection than others. It probably starts with the ID check, but an Indian colleague of mine of Canadian citizenship and US permanent residence would be selected randomly about 90% of the time.
I’m trying to figure out why this article needed to be written. On my last 3 flights I had this happen to me. But as a PoC, this is normal enough that we call them poor man’s massages.
Welcome to how the other half experiences travel.
Well, I wrote about it becuase in 20+ years and thousands of the flights, it was a first for me.
Do you get hit with haraSSSSment flags on your boarding passes and thus subject to the related process at US airports?
This happened to me like 10 times in a row last summer. I checked the screen every time. The only conclusion I came up with was that my thing was in a weird position or that it was bigger than what the machine’s settings were programmed to see (I’m not joking, I mean it), so it thought my thing was big enough to be a foreign object (that may be a weird complement lol). I verified this by making sure the next time that my thing was in its smallest state. The machine didn’t go off that time.
Nonetheless, I was very embarrassed every time and it was uncomfortable to have an agent check my package every time I flew lol. I didn’t make any jokes though (as much as I kind of wanted to). Now I have precheck so I don’t have to deal with it too often.
Flying 20+ years and this is your first time for a groin pat down? What are you complaining about? Let TSA do their job. In every job there will always be some idiot who crosses the line. Don’t let one bad apple convince you that everyone is the same.
Let TSA do their job.
I’m sure you wouldn’t get on a plane with people that never been checked.
I appreciate you TSA for keeping me safe.
There is no way to “manipulate the
machine” to do this. It’s entirely autonomous processing. It was simply a false positive which is simply a fact of imperfect, automated processing of information. If you’ve ever used a computer you know that “malfunction” is not strange or mysterious. Technology is imperfect. The switch to this system was a choice to avoid agents looking at “naked” images, knowing full well it would not be 100% correct.
Just curious…was this T3 Precheck line? Legit happened to me too a few weeks ago. I suspect a faulty machine.
It happens to me every time I go thru the one tsa pre line in TPA. Never anywhere else in the country, including EWR. They don’t care.
Don’t got through Terminal A Full body Scanner # 8 in MCO Orlando Airport. It goes off when nothing is there… definitely fault. Highly uncomfortable.