Imagine a child who could not sit still on an airplane. He screamed. He flailed. Then he walked into first class and kicked a passenger. Then he sat down in the front galley, blocking emergency egress. Yet instead of condemning him, passengers and crew rallied around him.
That’s what happened to four-year-old Braysen Keen on a recent United flight from Houston to San Diego. It’s a touching story on many levels.
Braysen does not speak and panics when overstimulated. That’s what happened after enduring a drive, airport check-in, security, a crowded gate area, and confined space onboard the aircraft. His mother hoped he would calm down after a rough drive to the airport, but instead Braysen became even worse.
He managed to wiggle out of his seat and began flailing on the floor. Despite valiant efforts to return him to his seat, Braysen attacked his parents and sister, kicking and biting them.
Rather than step in with the “is there going to be a problem” approach, flight attendants onboard took immediate compassion on the family. Braysen was eventually allowed to sit on his father’s lap during takeoff.
Braysen insisted upon returning to the floor after takeoff. Flight attendants did their best to keep him occupied, stopping by every few minutes to visit him and entertain him (with things like puppets and napkin drawings). The crew also recognized that Braysen needed space and allowed him to remain on the floor, even navigating the food and beverage carts around him.
Braysen kept wandering into the first class cabin…and kicking one particular passenger. The man was extremely compassionate, telling Braysen’s mother, “He can kick me the entire flight — I don’t care.” That’s kindness…
He also kicked an off-duty flight attendant sitting across the aisle from Braysen’s family. She also responded compassionately, handing the family the following note upon landing:
I commend you for your strength. Do not ever let anyone make you feel as though you are an inconvenience or a burden. He is a blessing. God bless your patience, your love, your support, and your strength. Continue to be superwoman. And know you and your family are loved and supported. —United family.
Eventually, Braysen parked himself in front of the first class galley, where he was allowed to remain.
During landing, he returned to his father’s lap rather than his own seat.
Compassion Or Craziness?
Not to spoil what is truly a beautiful story of human compassion, but did you count the safety violations? The kid did not sit in his seat during takeoff and landing. He spent most of the flight on the aisle floor, including just outside the cockpit. What if there was an emergency? Would he have hindered the crew or become an obstruction to passengers? The answer must be yes.
I wasn’t there, but I do grasp what a difficult situation this was for the crew onboard. After kicking and screaming, they were probably willing to do anything to keep him quiet. I’m also a big proponent of Delta’s “never let the rules overrule common sense” mantra.
But I am curious where allowing the boy to occupy the aisle and kick other passengers was the only way to keep him quiet. Is laying on the floor ever appropriate?
CONCLUSION
I cannot help but note the juxtaposition between this flight and my own incident with a possibly-autistic child. The crew treated him like a fly to be swatted away rather than a human being. On that flight, I wish I would have been more compassionate.
At the same time, I am conflicted about this story. I celebrate the compassion that was shown this family. Yet I also note that perhaps if a child cannot stay in his seat, perhaps an airplane is not the best mode of transportation.
Trust me, after my own non-autistic son’s antics on a United flight earlier this year, I realize how much it means when fellow passengers are patient and the crew tries everything to help.
Braysen’s mother said he is usually a great traveller. Let’s hope his next flight is much smoother. But we can all learn something from this story, namely that kindness is a beautiful human gift.
> Read More: The Little Maniac On My Flight
> Read More: Rethinking The Unruly Child On My Flight
Note, Lori Gabriel, Braysen’s mother, wanted the pictures above to be shared.
I have a feeling that had anyone showed any discomfort on the plane, someone else would have whipped out their phone, taped them, and they would be shamed on social media.
“At the same time, I am conflicted about this story. I celebrate the compassion that was shown this family. Yet I also note that perhaps if a child cannot stay in his seat, perhaps an airplane is not the best mode of transportation.”
A good summation of the story. Granted, one other to look at this is, “What if it were my child?”
Oh my. People so lacking in compassion. If I saw this boy I would feel so great that people gave up their chardonnnay to make his experience and his parents better. Life is so complicated for all young kids (especially those who have to deal with extra impediments). Let him sit in the aisle. There is no safety Problem. Get over yourself. Little mans feeling trump everything else. Congrats United.
Glad also Mathew that you feel some sympathy and perhaps a little change of heart from your flight dilemma.
“There is no safety Problem”
Except there is, as Mathew and many others have pointed out.
“Little mans feeling trump everything else”
That is not always true.
And getting kicked repeatedly by a kid isn’t the same as having to give up one’s chardonnay, darling.
By letting him have the space he needed on the floor the crew chose between two possible dangers, the immediate danger of an autistic meltdown in a confined space versus the statistically less likely danger of obstruction in case of the aircraft needing evacuation. I think they got the balance right. Kudos to the passengers who, although inconvenienced, understood the situation.
And what if the kid demanded booze? Or demanded a woman remove her clothes and bra?
No, the parents should try different parenting techniques and apply them. The crew and other passengers were compassionate and rule breaking but the kid needs to contribute, too.
As far as sitting in his father’s lap, this is probably ok. However, there’s a risk of a hard landing and an injury, in which case the lawyers would probably sue United for allowing this to happen.
This flight attendant was violating all kinds of rules. But to put this child in danger like this because he couldnt handle the situation. Obviously he needs some additional training in customer service. And, the pilot standing behind him not saying a word. Unbelievable.
No seat, no flight. Get off the damn floor….
Upon reading the well structured argument debated, clearly there are takeaways for both sides and then some.
What stands out in my mind as noted by the article is had someone shown enough intolerance, they undoubtedly would have been featured in a viral video. So, in effect potentially some of the passengers reacted with the over-riding group reaction and kept some of their initial reactions to themselves? Sometimes a good thing I would say.
Was there an option to delay takeoff so the young boy and his parents could deplane, destimulatre and allow the passengers to have their own stress less environment and safer flight?
This occurred early in the flight prior to takeoff. Was the pilot more concerned with staying on schedule over the clear safety concerns of what was transpiring just behind him? Ultimately it is the aircraft commander who is responsible for all soles. Clearly, there was a lack of compassion, safety.. by the captain who put every person on the aircraft in positions they should not have been!
Having said that, I think the tolerant air crew, passengers, and overwhelmed parents all having been subject to what is a hard to predict medical/normal reaction by this young boy is indeed compassionate as described.
Untied for it’s part and other airlines should look at this and ultimately make operational decisions based on passenger and crew safely with top priority. Every passenger on this flight should have received a full reimbursement for their fares!
Why on Earth should UNITED give out 150 free rides just because the parents couldn’t control their kid????
Stan,
It is reasonable. Without access to United’s policies and the fine print..And based on this could have been prevented by the pilot. Having to fly under these conditions. I remember an incident which occurred on a United flight in the last few years involving a passenger who would not give up his seat even though he was (legally) bumped. Had to be dragged off the plane, was injured for his bad behavior and yet was paid by United?? That is why as well.
United paid the Dr that was dragged off the plane because they are at fault. In this case United didn’t have a kid they couldn’t control. They were not at fault. If anyone should pay it’s thd parents. You have a VERY off idea if ‘reasonable’
Stan,
Ok Very off. Yes, the parents could be responsible for some form of repayment? Without be able to (qualify) your insights, source knowledge of United policies, I remain unconvinced of little substantive fact you have? I will go back and search sources for the incident I cited initially fo seek clarification. We both know realistically United would never Perdue the parents! Another bad press opportunity they want to avoid. I still rest this whole incident on the pilot,, he/she chose to take off based on information we’ll never know. So ultimately your meeting out of reason lays full consequences on the parents, correct? And thanks for your responses!
Your pilots wear aprons? That is a male flight attendant.
I feel sorry for the child and his parents, but there has to be a limit to how disruptive he can be allowed to be. If they was an emergency, he would have been a significant safety hazard.
If he was exhibiting this sort of behavior before takeoff, the family should have been removed.
If there were an emergency I would wonder what every well wired adults’ behavior would be…. Their choices are a tough call but to err on the side of compassion and common sense? I’ll take that
At some point people must take responsibility for their actions or (in this case) the actions that would be expected of someone in their care. If I paid for First Class and I were subjected to this I would be PISSED OFF. What if the uncontrollable kid grabs someones laptop and throws it? Starts opening bins in the galley? Starts knocking drinks into peoples laps? Creates such a hindrance or distraction it impedes the crews ability to service all the other passengers? Where is the LINE DRAWN? You are letting your kid ASSAULT other paying passengers! What is wrong with you? Find another mode of transport, I am so sick of this sense of entitlement and abuse of other passengers right to a peaceful flight (that they PAID for, that the mother didn’t volunteer to refund them!).
Extending sympathy, empathy and caring for others is one thing, someone *demanding* and feeling entitled that I show it is quite another…
I’ve had some bad experiences with out of control children in lounges and on airplanes this year and it’s a real sore spot for me. At some point behavior that impacts other passengers must be called out.
The compassion is truly touching. It shows that a lot of people have good hearts. Unfortunately, the compassion went way too far. I agree with the above commenters that this behavior was way beyond acceptable. @Aaron is 100% right that anyone raising awareness of this behavior on social media would have been crucified. If the child was unable to follow then norms of the flight, then his mother should have requested a later flight. With the best intentions, this was all kinds of wrong.
AdamR – Well said.
Frequent Flyer,
I am sympathetic to your response. Agree, hopefully United can manage to set reasonable policies to (encourage) passengers to take more responsibility for themselves and family members? Otherwise be willing to pay the rest of us appropriately when there is a valid claim.
Tough one! Thankful there were.no further escalations.
Parents need to consider medication as a plan B.
Crew needs to respect SOPs.. There is always the.next.flight.
If any passenger on the ground shows signs of non compliance – the well been of all other passengers as well as everyone’s safety onboard should ALWAYS come first and foremost.
Navigating a 200 Ibs plus food cart around a child on the ground is forbidden. Should that food cart tip over due to clear air turbulence ..what then?
We all need to be more humane – and that sometimes mean making the hard choices on behalf of the ones who cannot..like that 4 year old who had no idea in which danger he was.exposed to.
Kids will cry and scream because they know that’s how it works best in their favour to get what they.need. It’s a natural response.
I don’t believe kids do it out of malice but they do not have the social skills yet.
To finalize the.onus is on the parents who dealing with most of us have no idea..still need to take responsibility and have a plan B and put it to work – be it medication or taking the next flight when their son is calmer..coming to the airport the day before.. staying at a hotel nearby to cut the travel.time and early wake up.
Also we do not know how long was this flight. Sounds like it was very short thankfully for the safety of all involved and specially the little boy!
3 hours. Houston to San Diego.
That’s plenty of time for things to go sideways..for the crew to get a.medical where someone else is having a heart attack..a.beligerante person who over drank and decided to stop being understanding…being in a metal.tube brings..the worst and best in Humans..my 2 cents? Id always err on the side.of caution..
I agree with what you are saying but an autistic meltdown is not a temper tantrum and trying to get their own way. It’s a body’s response to an overstimulation of their neurological system. Their body can literally take no more input. People meltdown in different ways. It’s not all violent. Just an fyi.
Assuming the mother is telling the truth and Braysen is usually a good traveler, then I’d now be concerned about the inconsistent nature of his (unacceptable) behavior. Further, he’s little now and we are accommodating such behavior because it’s anecdotally manageable with minimal impact. I fear for when he’s older and bigger and, depending on his development on the spectrum, maintains the mentality of a child but has the body of an adolescent or teenager. To wit, I attended grades 6-12 with a student with autism who, when provoked, would have screaming fits and throw his fists wildly. Imagine that from a 5’11” 16-year-old on an airplane. The kicker was there seemed to be no discernible pattern as to provocations.
Do we continue to make accommodations for an ever-increasing security risk? Do we continue to allow a 14-year-old Braysen to act in the same manner because he/she is autistic? I say that not about Braysen, per se, or about those on the spectrum who are highly-functioning, but about society drawing a socially acceptable line for “appropriate” behavior on an aircraft from anyone, independent of development disorders. There must be a point at which it’s agreeable from all sides to state unequivocally, “No, airplane travel is just something that’s not in the cards for him/her given the condition.”
Rules are created for a reason. Safety. Sure, nobody wants any accident. Everyone do their best so no accident can happen.
Problem is, accident do happen. What seemed as a small thing could have catastrophic impact. What seemed as a kindness could cost millions.
Then again, impulse to be praised as a kind and caring person, even on the anonimity of the internet oftentimes made you forget to use logic, or whatever left of it….
I am sorry Father of A! You know better about your own personal situation and I’d never presume to pass judgment on you.
My comments are solely based on my own personal experience on a daily interaction with the traveling public.
Hopefully the Medical Team of People in need of exceptions or that rules be “adapted” for their benefit – would weight in and offer a safe and secure solution to all parties..our rights do end when they infringe on someone else’s. Living in todays society is tough!
Best of luck
I write as a frequent flyer and as the parent of an autistic young man.
While behavior patterns vary across the spectrum, my son was similar to this child. We were very careful regarding travel and chose to drive twice, NYC-MIA. The trips were actually pleasant, except for having my son slip out of our room in North Carolina. Never again.
We never experienced such compassion from fellow passengers. When I explained that my son has the legal right to travel, one gentleman stated that the rights end at my face, if I am touched the rights end. Those were very true words.
The most interesting things were cabin crew comments. On Delta, I was berated for not teaching my child to behave. On B6 they arranged for my son to board seconds before closing the door and managed to throw a bag of chips at us every time they passed our row.
For those that recommend drugs, been there, tried that. We did a dry run with a pill for the flight, worked like a charm. One week later, same drug and bad reaction, diagnosed by a retired pharmacist one row behind us.
I do agree that once these individuals, like my son, get older and stronger, there might be issues that need to be addressed before planning a flight, be it drugs or manpower.
The only passenger that was directly affected by my son was a teen girl that my son decided to smile and put his face right in front of hers. She later asked if my son attended a certain summer camp and yes, my son recognized her although she did not recognize him at first.
Marion, you stated, “Kids will cry and scream because they know that’s how it works best in their favour to get what they.need. It’s a natural response.” The normal rules do not really apply with autistic people. they might cry and tantrum even after getting what they want. Please, don’t be such a know it all, every parent of an autistic child knows that what you are stating is pure rubbish. We live this 24/7/365 and resent know it alls.
Where were the parents when this kid was assaulting a FA and the guy in first? Were they just sitting on their duff, kicking back a cold one and saying ‘aww, how cute’?
We can argue specifics about cabin safety vs the crew making a real world accommodation, but there is a pretty huge difference between letting him sit on the floor and letting him strike other pax or the crew ..
And the child is *repeatedly* attacking the pax and crew. I realize he’s out of control, but he’s a four year old…how hard can it be for two grown adults to physically restrain him?
Everyone on this flight was very accommodating, and that’s nice.
However, this child shouldn’t be on a plane. It’s that simple.
I’m torn on this one and have no clear opinion falling on either side as I see both arguments regarding whether this was great or whether this child should not have traveled. Reasonable accommodations and exceptions should be made to those with disabilities. When push comes to shove, the flight arrived on time and everyone got to their destination without objecting to any of the issues. I think it’s generally positive that we have become a more aware and understanding society when it comes to issues like Autism. On the other hand, some of the rules that were broken to make an exception are there for a reason and passengers shouldn’t have to tolerate being kicked. Not everything has a clear right/wrong answer and this one falls into a grey area for me.
I had the blessing of life teaching me a lesson years back where I learned compassion so I applaud the compassionate behavior in this story, to a point.
My compassion ends at the physical aggression towards another passenger. I would let the first kick slide but no more after that. If he did indeed repeatedly kick a passenger, that is not acceptable, at all.
As a father of an autistic young man, I agree.
I can tell you that we did not relax for one moment till we were home or in our vacation apartment. I feel entitled to ask where the parents were during this flight. Kicking or touching another person should not happen once, definitely not multiple times.
Having stated the above, I am left wondering why there is no concern for rules when there is not a disabled child in the picture. The failure to follow and enforce rules on domestic flights is astounding. Laptops, because of their shape and weight can become dangerous projectiles. Since when are people using laptops during landing tolerated?