A trans activist snapped at a Delta Air Lines agent in New York, accusing him of repeatedly “misgendering.” But the agent pushed back, dismissing that claim and then threatening to have the activist thrown out of the airport. Who was reasonable here?
Delta Gate Agent Silences Trans Activist At New York LGA
Kyle sent me this story last night and while I knew others would cover it this morning, I wanted to take a moment to think it though before posting and make sure there were no details I was missing.
Transgender actress Tommy Dorfman identifies as a trans woman. Dorfman, who prefers the pronouns she/her, claims that a Delta gate agent misgendered her and that another agent named “Tristan” (pictured in the video below) displayed both “threatening” and “transphobic” behavior by misgendering her. In posting the video below on TikTok (since removed, but I’ve downloaded a copy), she explains:
When you try to advocate for yourself at @delta and are met with even more transphobia and threats of being arrested at Laguardia. Tristan, the employee, said that he was fine with me posting this, didn’t realize it was condescending to flag a human rights violation after another employee misgendered me incessantly.
Dorfman claimed the gate agent was being hostile, to which Tristan responded:
“It wasn’t intentional, but if you want to take it personal, that’s also okay. You’re being condescending, and if you want to continue, I’ll have Port Authority escort you out the building right this moment if you want to play that game with me. Which if you’d like to continue three days before Christmas, I really don’t mind.”
Police were called and showed up 10 minutes later to discuss the issue with Dorfman.
Let’s be clear. I’m not mocking Dorfman here for her self-identification. I’m not mocking trans people. But having the watched the video, I really don’t think Dorfman comes away looking the like the victim. Quite the contrary, I am much more sympathetic to Tristan, the Delta agent, even though his quintessentially New Yorker way of handling the situation probably could have been handled better (I find it so trite to threaten to throw people out over a verbal argument).
If you tell me you want me to call by certain pronouns, I’ll do it. If you look like a guy, I’m probably going to call you he/him until you tell me otherwise, especially if I am looking down at my screen and hear a deep voice (as appears to have happened here). Here, there is no indication that Tristan deliberately “misgendered” Dorfman and it seems to me the issue was unnecessarily escalated in a rude way by Dorfman, who should have realized that the world doesn’t revolve around her, that her identity is a new a cultural phenomenon, and the she still looks like a biological male, which is quite a different thing than sexual orientation even if it meshed into the same rainbow. So maybe the key is education and not rebuke…
Delta is aware of the video and “looking into the matter, including reaching out to our customer to understand more about what occurred.”
CONCLUSION
I don’t think Dorfman is the victim here. I do think we should treat others the way we want to be treated, but I appreciate that the gate agent wasn’t about to accept that he was guilty of “transphobia” when there is no indiction he deliberately misgendered her.
You are male if you have a ding-a-ling and a woman is you have a cuchy-cuchy.
Get the surgery then you can change pronouns.
Badic biology and science fact
Then he’d just be a dickless dude. NO DEAL
I am derek, not Derek. My comments are below.
I am dErek, not Derek or derek. My comments are below.
Another freak demanding others indulge in HIS fantasy/fetish. If you google this GUY you’ll see what is unmistakably a DUDE in a dress, with a broad forehead, square jaw, and masculine build. He’s a guy, a horribly gross one, but still a guy.
So misgendered? No no, he’s clearly a Mr.gender.
QED
Tommy looks like a woman to me.
When you first watched the video and saw pictures or video of this person, you know clearly and without question that this person was born with a Y-chromosome and a penis. A male human. Therefore, he/him/has. The end.
*his* name is Tommy. He looks like a dude with a pushup bra. These people are *activist* for attention and you are guilty for giving it to them. They will seek to punish anyone whether accident or not even looking like this butch turd monger does. These are your people, matt.
About time someone ANYONE responded back to an activist and attention whore desperate for clicks, affection and power who was trying to ruin the life of someone for any slight whatsoever.
The world would be a HELL of alot better if more people took these buggers to task and didn’t tolerate their garbage. Delta better not fire this guy.
Precisely. Let’s not lower ourselves to atheist “values” and, instead, continue to stand up for the truth.
Dear Everyone:
Question: Who gives a sh*t about any of this?
Answer: Not me.
Signed,
Virtually Everyone
Bobo, do you live in the culture? I do. This is a relevant issue. Highly-relavent. And a reminder: watch the profanity.
You misunderstand completely.
I’ll gladly use whatever words to describe someone that they want me to use* – whether gender pronouns, their ethnic background or place of origin (if that’s ever polite to discuss, usually it’s not) or just about anything else unless it’s derogatory and/or inappropriate. That’s just simple courtesy and good manners.
People seem to miss this, but believe it or not, I am not sniffing around and checking out every other human I encounter in daily life, reviewing carefully every detail of their physical or imagined identity. What you are or what you want to be is none of my business, and I really do not care – literally, do not care at all, there’s no judgement. If you are someone I need to speak with, I’ll take my best guess, but I’m not investing any bandwidth trying to second-guess you. If you’re wearing a visible badge that says “She/Her” (as I see in many retail shops) I’ll do my best to use those terms (or at least something neutral like “you” or “they”). No problem, I’m not looking to annoy anyone. We are both just trying to get by.
Where I just eye-roll and refuse to play along is the whole attention-seeking trigger nonsense. How YOU identify is not important to me AT ALL (no matter what you choose, go ahead, knock yourself out, you be you, good luck to ya and have a good life). Just don’t expect me and the rest of the universe to make YOUR fetish of your chosen identity the center of the universe and the top priority for everyone else. I. JUST. DON’T. CARE. Just like I don’t care what kind of car you drive or what underwear you like…none of it means a thing to me. If even that offends you, then that’s your problem, not mine. You want to celebrate yourself? Fine, good luck to you, have a party, I’m not attending, I have better things to do, just don’t make trouble for some poor working stiff (or me) who is only trying to get through their day without having to suffer your drama.
THAT’S why nobody cares. This is idiocy and life is too short to waste any of it on such self-aggrandizing nonsense. I am not playing that game.
* There are a few terms I refuse to use, even though they have become normalized in contemporary society. I’m never gonna use “the N word” to describe anyone, nor the (apparently now celebrated) “Q word” (for gay folks); I grew up understanding very clearly that those were highly offensive terms, and I’m not about to start using them now even if some fool is wearing a badge that tells me to call them that. I’ll still use “sir” and “ma’am” if it seems very clear they apply. If in doubt, “you” “they” or even “friend” can work (if I fake a southern accent, “y’all” can work in a pinch).
Life is short, there’s no time to waste on this stupidity.
Please don’t claim it’s relevant, literally no normal human gives a crap about this. The article just shows abuse of airline employee by the mentally ill.
I’m convinced people just instigate these “situations” for the sake of producing content to increase their “online audience”. If we want this sort of nonsense to go away, we all have to stop feeding the beast and resist the urge to click, like, blog, tweet, comment etc. (and yes I realize my hypocrisy in commenting…)
Little boys are not infrequently confused as girls. Where is the outrage?
While transgender people look for respect and acknowledgement they also need to offer the same in that not everyone is out to get them. And sometimes we are a bit confused in a quick and perfunctory function like a check in desk at an airport. They need to respect that this is going to take time. People can’t expect to adapt to thousands of years of ingrained gender usage overnight. Or be made into villains for being confused with identifying it on their own.
Bobo nails it but the credit card huckster bloggers want the clicks so you know all things Trans are getting blasted into that Boarding Area feed all day today.
Matthew does know his audience…
I wouldn’t describe his response as “quintessentially New Yorker” (but i’ll avoid detailing anything further because this is the internet), but rather his response is “i’m just trying to do my work, but i got time”.
I am sick of transgender activists pushing their agenda on the world.
+1000000000
What exactly is this agenda?
expect society to treat men as women at the expense of the rights and safety of legitimate women and their spaces.
It’s so cute how people rant about this “agenda,” while most of the world realizes at a young age that whining to a bunch of strangers online is pretty ridiculous.
I dont care what people do to their genitals or how they identify themselves, but you cant get mad at the public and terrorize strangers for being genuinely confused if you come across as both.
I thought the agent remained extremely polite and reasonable. He handled the situation well. This man is free to pretend he is a woman, but he is not free to demand others indulge his fantasy. I respect the agent for the way he handled the bullying.
If they want to be called a female they need to dress and look like one.. Shave athe beards etc they do not go well with the dangly earrings
The question is not who said what, but who’s a member of a more marginalized community (ies). That person is in the right, regardless of what they say or do.
This is a tough call.
On one hand we have a trans woman – marginalized and victim of misgendering.
On the other hand a person of color, and possibly a victim of Islamophobia.
This looks like a draw, but after further inspection, Dorfman loses victim points due to her surname.
In conclusion, expecting an oppressed person to honor the oppressor’s pronoun should be considered an act of colonialism. Go Tristan!
What are you smoking that divides the world into neat and false (binary!! Ha!) categories of oppressed and oppressors?
That’s the same ideology that has LBGT etc people supporting Hamas terrorists in raping, maiming, and slaughtering innocent civilians.
I’m pretty sure they were being sarcastic…
Well after reading this, clueless me first had to look up Tommy Dorfman and secondly had to hear the voice in the posted exchange. In my humble clueless opinion, Tommy has the facial features of a male, broad shoulders of a male, and deep voice of a male. Watching the video the Delta Agent was just trying to do his job with an impending departure and didn’t have time to indulge in petty games. I really don’t think he deliberately set out to offend Tommy Dorfman. It could have been a good teaching moment for Tommy to the Delta Agent but …
I think he is being an ass. Just because someone is delusional, doesn’t mean I have to join the club. I could care less what world he wants to live in, but I never met a women that had a beard as full as his.
As a Front Fesk volunteer , at a police drpartment, it is difficult attimes to know ehatgender the human being in front if me is or defines as. If I see a male namr, ie Tommy anf hear a deep voice, I will addtess hthe person exactly as the hard worling Delta agent did.
This “Trans” nonsense is so crazy! Twenty years from now, we’ll look back to the 2020’s and wonder what the F.. we were all thinking. If you have dick your a male, if a vagina you are a female. PERIOD.
Mental illness at its peak.
Isn’t it antisemitism to criticize Ms. Dorfman? I think someone forgot about that card. Of course it is harder to criticize a BIPOC which the agent appeared to be. Just imagine if the agent was a White man. I’m not condoning the agent’s behavior because I didn’t watch the video and wasn’t there. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
The 90s were political correctness, next came tolerance, then acceptance and now we are at the point where you must believe in another person’s beliefs even if you disagree.
You don’t have to believe them, you just have to respect the person and treat them decently.
Any relationship to Kent?
I agree. I am all for using people’s preferred pronouns, because it costs me nothing and makes them more comfortable. And it’s also sometimes hard and you mess it up. Especially in the stress of a job like a gate agent, I can imagine that it’s an easy thing to mess up even if you’d been corrected. It’s not malicious. I think the GA handled himself very well, and quite respectfully.
There´s a difference between preferred pronouns and aggressively demanded pronouns I believe. Might be wrong.
Nominate the gate agent as “Employee of the Year”!!!!
Also, was the one who made the fuss called Gene/Jean??
Anyone remember the TV series Quark??
As a gay man I see this transgender nonsense as the newest fad, like the goth fad back when I was younger. Everyone wants to be ‘different’ so now they’re pushing this BS with made up pronouns and 2million genders or whatever the new number is today. My biggest issue with it is they’re going to ruin the lives of kids who are getting caught up in this because their overly liberal parents want to be part of this fad and score points with their overly liberal friend group by having a ‘trans-kid’ and most kids, wanting to please their parents, go along with it.
Does this mean I’m ‘transphobic’? By these lunatics assessment, yes. By normal trans people who actually transitioned, they say no. They’re sick of this BS too because it’s ruining their lives in the process. They have people who aren’t really trans, lets be honest they’re cross dressers, calling themselves ‘activists’ and ‘standing up for the community’ by bullying people into believing the trash they’re spewing. I’m all about live your life how you want but don’t push your emotional baggage on everyone else, this includes religion, politics, whatever. You do you, keep your mouth shut, and maybe you’ll get some respect. The LGBT community needs to drop the IA+ nonsense, put their foot down and say enough is enough, we’ll stand up for actual trans people, not the posers who want to feel like their mediocre lives are actually worth something.
I have total respect for gays and lesbians. They are normal people that have a different approach to partner preference. Anything else I have zero respect. Freaks want to impose this lunatic agenda and that is getting tiring. My kids have kids in their school that are total freaks and call themselves gender fluid. One day they think they are man and the other they think they are woman. Oh, and guess what? If you call them the wrong pronoun on the wrong day they get mad. Freaks being freaks. Zero respect from my end. Zero!
Agree. I have a transgender friend and if someone slips up and says he, it’s no big deal provided it’s not an attack.
Thank you, flyguymike, for your entirely reasonable and common-sense post – you make a LOT of valid points there. Of course, everyone deserves respect and kindness, equal rights, dignity, the works. Including trans folks who are just going about their lives like the rest of us. Attention-seeking nonsense and those looking for confrontations where no disrespect or prejudice actually exists is counter-productive, beyond the pale and just ruins things for everyone.
Forget about the issue. Miss delta was being shady and was trying to embarrassed the trans person.he wanted to upset her and also threatened her by calling port authority to escort her.he further was like she /he then move his head like he was calling the other customer SHE AND then quickly throw an insult He.miss delta know he was wrong.the other delta worker(the baggage guy) was like u really did that
90% of Trans “women” (Men) are so because they are either AGPs, HSTS or Incels. There are legitimate gender dysphoric people but they are very rare.
AGP = Auto Gynophiles, the most common. They are men who get sexual pleasure seeing themselves as women and others treating them as such
HSTS = Homosexual Transsexual. They are gay men who were “twinks” who are aging out or ‘get off’ on baiting straight men into having sex with them. Most are just gay men aging out of their “sexy young” phase and entering their “old queen” phase.
Incels= Involuntary Celibates. These are ugly virgins who have been bullied and have never had a girlified their whole life.
Most become trans because they think it’s a way for them to escape their reality of being an undesirable male, others do it because
they see it as a way to continue to attack women.
There is no such thing as Superman, Batman, Wile E Coyote or transgender. Oldest book on record states, ” He created them male and female, That’s it. No third gender and it’s been that way for eons of time.
Sick of this. z list “ actor “ is just using the situation to get compensation like most Americans who complain when they travel.
They are always discriminated against, on meds or disabled. Blah blah blah. If he or she reacted like that it is a mental disorder.
In all of this commenting I notice that people are being drawn into quasi acceptance of transgenderism in the content of their replies. Some of them even claim to be Christians.
In Genesis 1:27 it says “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”——Two things to observe here. Man is created in God’s image, and the behavior of man has been and continues to be anything but in the image of God, as demonstrated by all who defy God and try to change what He has created as fundamental fact. Second…..He created man in the form of two (2) sexes, and no more. The distinction is clear and final, and no amount of surgery, hormone therapy and psychiatric conditioning, and legal haggling can possibly make a difference. Such maneuvers simply expose the depth of personal dishonesty that certain people want to get immersed in, by their own volition. If you don’t have the courage to state this position openly, while claiming to be a Christian and a believer in God, then consider the content in Mt 7:21 and forward. It applies to you.