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Home  >  Etihad  >  Etihad Trolls Us: The “New Constellation” Is A Nothingburger
Etihad

Etihad Trolls Us: The “New Constellation” Is A Nothingburger

Matthew Klint Posted onOctober 18, 2022November 13, 2023 10 Comments

a display of dishes and utensils

Ok Etihad, very funny. The Abu Dhabi-based carrier has been building up momentum for a huge announcement and we’ve just received the official news. It’s just new bedding and plates from Etihad Armani / Casa. Well done Etihad for trolling us!

Trolling Etihad Gleefully Announces New Bedding And Tableware from Armani / Casa, Hardly A “New Constellation”

I flew the Etihad A350-1000 earlier this year (sorry, the full trip report is still in the queue) in business class and loved it. Etihad still has a great onboard product and while the transit experience in Abu Dhabi is not ideal, I had nothing but positive things to say about the flight.

Qatar Airways and American Airlines have cozied up. United Airlines and Emirates have cozied up. Last week, Etihad began teasing a big announcement set to drop tomorrow. Some of the teaser language was quite dramatic:

“We trust the stars to define our journey. A new constellation will soon adorn the skies.”

a screenshot of a video

Wow, that sounds pretty big.

Would Etihad finally join Star Alliance (which has been rumored for years and was once close to being finalized)?

Or perhaps SkyTeam so Delta Air Lines has a Gulf partner as well beyond Saudia?

Maybe a new airplane order? A new first class (the new business class on the A350-1000 is already amazing and needs no upgrade)? A retrofit of the Dreamliner fleet?

All reasonable guesses considering the gravity, if you will pardon the pun, of the teasers.

But news has just broken via my friend Zach Honig that the big announcement is just…new tableware pillows and blankets in business class from Armani / Casa.

Even funnier was a quip by Etihad CEO Tony Douglas that he enjoyed all the online speculation over the last couple weeks.

a man and woman smiling

But it’s actually not funny. Life is too short to get offended over something like this, but to say that I am disappointed is an understatement.

Joking aside, I really do not understand what Etihad was thinking. Certainly, Etihad has been at the top of headlines on aviation blogs and will be again today and tomorrow…but I am sure I will not be the only one who questions why Etihad chose to build up a fairly minor news item as if it was a game-changer.

It’s not.

In fact, the old Etihad bedding and crockery was just fine. I think Etihad should have left well enough alone.

So instead of a piece praising Etihad or no post at all, I now criticize Etihad for engaging in deceptive marketing that reflects poorly on the brand. Others are already doing so as well.

CONCLUSION

Whoopee…new bedding and tableware onboard. Now how about expanding the route network and re-building the airline smarter than last time? The core of Etihad is a route network that transports passengers with ease and comfort around the world. Let’s hope new plates and pillows are not the only thing Etihad will offer in 2022 and 2023.

a large airplane taking off

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About Author

Matthew Klint

Matthew is an avid traveler who calls Los Angeles home. Each year he travels more than 200,000 miles by air and has visited more than 135 countries. Working both in the aviation industry and as a travel consultant, Matthew has been featured in major media outlets around the world and uses his Live and Let's Fly blog to share the latest news in the airline industry, commentary on frequent flyer programs, and detailed reports of his worldwide travel.

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10 Comments

  1. Brian T. Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 1:26 pm

    Meanwhile, my bedroom and dining room just announced they’re joining Star Alliance.

  2. Aaron Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 1:27 pm

    “Qatar Airways and American Airlines have cozied up. United Airlines and Emirates have cozied up”

    So that leaves Delta to cozy up with Etihad one day…?

    Its possible people were trolled because they saw what they wanted to see?

  3. Gravelly Point Guy Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 1:44 pm

    I just wish United Airlines would troll us that way for a change!!

    • Corwin Low Reply
      October 18, 2022 at 3:39 pm

      They do… they announce a product called Polaris and then not implement it for years.

      • Gravelly Point Guy Reply
        October 18, 2022 at 5:32 pm

        HA!

  4. Jan Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 2:04 pm

    “Deceptive marketing” meaning they said “Star” in the teaser and errbody be like “Star Alliance confirmed lol”

    Trolling 8/10. I like it.

  5. DCAWABN Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 2:45 pm

    What’s even worse (if it can actually BE worse) is that they’re relying on the name Armani to “sell” this product at all. This stonewear looks exactly like something you’d find at Zara Home or even Ikea. Hell, I think I have some identical serving pieces at home. There’s nothing unique or Etihad-aligned with any of this. In fact, the rounded edges on the plates are in direct contrast to EY’s geometric livery and other interior finishings. They’re not complementary at all. What’s lower than a nothingburger? A nadataco? A bullshitsatay? A hoaxhummus?

  6. PM Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 7:03 pm

    By the way, in addition to recent announcements on partnerships with AC, UA, and A3, Emirates have just added a bunch of codeshares on TAP, including the Canaries and even a transatlantic route to POA! It definitely looks like they’re moving closer and closer to *A.

  7. Jerry Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 7:11 pm

    I can’t blame Honig for flying over, even if it was for a nothing announcement. Presumably his employment at Cardless excluded him from an invite to the Bilt party with everyone except you and Ben. He needed something to do.

  8. T- Reply
    October 18, 2022 at 9:21 pm

    I like your article Mr. Kline. Lol… There are some blokes replying & commenting that are really koo! koo! though.

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