I’ve got to hand it to my seatmate with the hollow leg: I’ve never seen a man drink so much on a plane and not even get up to use the lavatory…
My Thirsty Seatmate On United
I mentioned my seatmate in my United Airlines trip report from London to Los Angeles…a farmer complete with a checkered shirt and blue jeans who has a farm in Kern County, north of Los Angeles. He was not a large man and appeared to be in his mid 70s or early 80s.
What I didn’t mention was his amusing beverage consumption…and his hollow leg.
It started before takeoff. A flight attendant offered water or sparkling wine on a tray and he grabbed both, saying, “Don’t mind if I do.”
After takeoff, he wanted a Jack Daniel’s whiskey. Then another one. Then another one. He was talkative and showed no signs of being inebriated.
With dinner he had a glass of red wine. He ended up not eating his meal (United’s beef short ribs leave much to be desired), but he did have a refill on the wine.
So think about it. Two hours: five drinks. Limited food (he ate the mixed nuts and then had ice cream).
I woke up from my nap because he was speaking to the flight attendant. He wanted a Coca Cola. Full can.
He had some potato chips with that, then actually pressed his call button and ordered another can of Coke and a glass of water and some orange juice! All at once!
The flight attendant and I looked at each other…was he for real?
At least he had moved on from alcohol.
Before landing, lunch was served. He ordered another Coke and another glass of water.
The weirdest thing? Unless he got up while I was sleeping, the older gentleman did not get up once during the flight! Pretty amazing considering the prostate issues many older men face, forcing them to frequently the little boys’ room.
So let’s tally (and again, this was only while I was awake):
- 2 waters
- 3 whiskeys
- 2 red wines
- 3 Cokes
- 1 orange juice
Where does all that go if not in a hollow leg?
CONCLUSION
I knew farmers were hard workers…I didn’t know they were hard drinkers. I cannot ever recall seeing a seatmate drink so much during one flight.
Sorry, no pictures. You’ll have to use your imagination.
WOW! He must be that REAL thirsty after leaving heatwave in London. Im glad that he didn’t cause any dramas onboard!
don’t really see how this is an appropriate post here…I like your reviews Matthew, but this is unnecessary and a borderline invasion of privacy.
Ooohhhhhhh piss off! I think it’’s hysterical!
40 year cabin crew member and what that passenger
drank is childs play compared to whT I’ve served and witnessedon long haul flughts.. So what! He obviously enjoyed himself and caused no drama. Whats the problem?!
Alcoholics have given up on life and find joy in emptiness.
I have always said drug users and homeless people should be allowed to do copious amounts of officially provided cocaine. They OD and go out doing what they enjoy. Isn’t that what we see on most obituaries ” they went doing what they loved”. Why the puritan BS in not allowing homeless people to OD then?
The person mentioned in this post did nothing wrong, and behaved himself.
Yet here you are, with a really bad take. I’d rather sit next to this guy than you.
sup debit
Yup your suggested approach to homeless with poor mental health is going real well in Seattle. YouTube search “Seattle is dying”
That is amazing. He doesn’t have prostate problems like me. I have to AVOID all alcohol and probably avoid anything to drink if it’s shorter than a three-hour flight. Otherwise, I’d be getting up every half hour. Lucky guy.
(The prostate is a gland in the man and if it is enlarged (in older men), the urinary bladder can’t totally empty when you urinate. Therefore frequent urination is common. And alcohol will cause urinary retention in some men. Not to mention alcohol, is a mild diuretic making you want to pee-urinate more often).
Could be wearing a bag attached to the hollow leg?
Good lord…I certainly hope I never end up sitting next to you on a flight, if you’re going to make snide comments about what I may or may not eat and drink.
Do better.
People will judge you any way they can. People look at me because I don’t want anything, No cookie, No pretzel, Nothing. And I usually bring my own water, if it’s a short flight. And It’s healthy to do some fasting; not eating (but they will think I’m WEIRD if I tell them).
There’s another potential storyline here as well!
Was the photo at the top of the beverage cart taken on this flight? If so, the wine selection would suggest a significant upgrade in the quality of the wines being served in UA Polaris. I’ve never known UA to serve vintage champagne in business class. The Laurent-Perrier 2007 there is likely a ~USD 90-100 bottle. The 2016 Chablis behind it looks pretty good too.
Does anyone have insight as to whether Is this a one-off, quirk of catering ex-LHR, or reflects systemwide investment in the Polaris wine program?
This is a photo I took ex-ZRH in 2019 in Polaris.
My thoughts exactly.!!! I was like wow!! United really upped its Polaris game, LP as champagne being served in business class. Not to mention the Riesling option as well. The problem with UA is, even if this were an actual photo, they wouldn’t even have the remote idea of what was being poured because of a lack of wine’s menus!! So even if they have had it, they would not know!! Lol.
On a side note, I had their short ribs last week from IAH-EZE, as did my traveling companion. Both of us found them to be delicious. The shrimp on the return last night from EZE-IAH were decent, but the pasta that came with it was a bit overcooked.
The short ribs themselves I enjoyed, it was the just the overall meal was sub par with no proper appetizer and or salad.
Plus while the short rin tasted good, it was served so poorly that it looked terrible
He must have thought the same thing about you Mathew, how can he stuff himself up, he must have a hollow leg!! Perfect seat mates, one had a drinking problem, the other one an eating problem.
There are medications that can cause urinary retention as a side effect. Since he was an old guy, chances are he is on medication, so maybe that is the reason he was able to drink so much and not go.
With urinary retention, you (usually) will have a very PAINFUL bladder urge to pee-urinate. Trust me I’m a nurse and also have prostate problems.
Elderly male on a 10 hr flight? Maybe longer, and no pee break, between a lot of liquid intake and a farmer by occupation. All his adult life he has learned how to control his bladder. Think of the Crew on your next flight, do you see the Lav door opening n closing a lot by Crew? Nothing strange about this. Hats off to the Farmer.. he proved old people still rock!
“Where does all that go if not in a hollow leg?”
Since you asked… there are ways to divert urine into collecting bags discreetly. There are a multitude of legitimate medical reasons why someone might do this. Admittedly he’d have to have a pretty big bag to pull this off. But if this was a situation where he was seated when you arrived, stayed seated for the duration of the flight, and was still on the plane when you left, that’d be my guess.
There are medical conditions in which people make little or even no urine. These don’t usually mesh well with taking in a lot of volume and making long transatlantic journeys, but there are scenarios in which these things could happen.
“considering the prostrate issues many older men face”
Yea, I’m not even that old and even I can’t lay face down on the floor easily.
If he drank that much its possible he did not have to GET UP
BTW you are extremely obsessed with woman’s looks, this old mans b-room habits etc.
is this travel or elementary school locker room!!!
A place for man is at HOME with a loving wife,
Obviously you lack that so you have to fulfill your needs other ways..
LOL. Yes, it’s all about me isn’t it?
External male catheter connected to urine bag strapped to leg?
YES very possible.
I’m more impressed that you found such interest in this farmer and decided to track his drinks during the flight
In those old B/E Diadmond seats, we were only inches away from one another.
I had the Polaris beef short rib out of Edinburgh to Washington last week – it was absolutely delicious. Moist, tender, flavourful.
I can’t even imagine not getting up during a flight! PE is for real and I learned my lesson the hard way. That man’s bladder must be the size of a giant pumpkin. I mean…wow.
Why do you even care?
I was impressed he didn’t have to get up. I couldn’t get away with that!
Dumbest post from this blog (and that is saying something) – who the hell cares. and you didnt realize farmers were hard drinkers? no stereotypes allowed please – a day job doesnt (or shouldnt) predetermine your predliction to drinking/eating/whatever. F this post
And yet, you clicked on it. And commented on it.
From the bottom of my heart, I salute you.
75% informative is better than most – so I compliment you on that. Just fact-based and no stereotypes please. Appreciate you versus most others. Facts/Experiences >> Clickbait
Sir, this is a travel blog.
You know… I think your report regarding the drinking and eating indulged in by the other passenger to be offensive. If the person was not interfering with YOUR enjoyment of the trip, what actual business is it of yours to report on this ? He was sitting up front and quite entitled to his choice of beverages and meals. Just like you were. What an invasion of someones privacy.
Wow !
Its called an observation. Where did he say had a problem with it? Nowhere.
I wouldn’t write a story on this. However all this article was, an observation. No different from other articles. Just you find those interesting cause they did something wrong in your opinion.
Don t clutch your pearls
No invasion of privacy. The gent was never named, pictured, nor was he even aware of the drink counting. If he was he would likely think it damn funny as probably has heard it all before.
Totally. People aren’t happy these days unless they manufacturer self induced outrage on other people’s behalf. I don’t think MK had bad intentions here or is irresponsible at all.
I typically do wind sprints back & forth to the lav & my seat due to hydration overcompensation. I have had an FA say “wow” once because of my frequency. I wouldn’t give a crap if MK wrote about it. Just keep me anonymous as in this case & we’re fine.
My Father owned a shot and beer bar in very Central Illinois. Farmers are hard workers and ALSO very hard drinkers. Shot of Bourbon followed by a “Little Joe”. An 8 ounce Schmitz. Was the highly anticipated drink combo after a hard day on the John Deere.
Yeah how bout you mind your [redacted by admin] business and not encroach on others privacy.
I grew up on a farm and have worked in agriculture all my life. Farmers and ag industry folks in general can flat-out down the drinks and it’ll take a lot for it to ever show. If there was a drinking Hall of Fame farmers would be charter members.
Dude, you are a lightweight or I have hollow legs too ! That’s nothing for a flight that long!
Not all heroes wear capes.
I have the short ribs all the time, Love them. Only wish I could duplicate then at home.
I suspect he is fit enough to quietly get up and not have to grab the seat. He went to the lavatory once while Matthew was napping.
Maybe he was wearing a VERY high quality adult diaper?
Catheter?
I’m sorry but 5 drinks on an 11 hour flight is just boring to write about. A huge majority of premium cabin customers will have drunk at least that by dinner time. Try an 11am NYC to ORD flight right now and you’ll understand.
Please stop judging and keep your morals to yourself.
What about Swollen Legs? If his kidneys fail to make urine and has kidney failure he would have swollen legs in which case he would need dialysis right after he gets off the plane. But more likely he has a urinary leg bad or even diapers? LOL .
He was wearing dungarees.
This is a really bad take. And why point out a farmer stereotype? Sounds like the man was behaving onboard and shouldn’t have to worry about his beverage choices being judged and broadcast online.
Oh please. It’s not like I included any pictures. To order three drinks at once is really something.
Depends
I found the article amusing, not mocking. It’s just musing upon the curiosities of people watching while traveling.
For those naysaying and saying it’s an invasion of privacy: he doesn’t name the person and doesn’t provide pictures of the person. I looked up USDA data on farms in Kern County and their 2017 fact sheet that was the top result on Google says there are over 1,000 producers 65+ on farms in Kern County. So good luck finding the *one* on this UA flight…
The “offended by proxy” in this comment section are a marvel to behold.
As a 70+ yo woman, I don’t find the amount he drank as unusual. When we fly from the US West coast to the EU West coast, I usually consume 8 – 10 cans/bottles of liquid and maybe 1 or 2 alcoholic drinks. The airplane environment is extremely dehydration to me. Prior to figuring out a routine of 1 can of cranberry juice, 1 can of tomato or bloody Mary juice & 1 bottle of water, long distance travel “over the pond” meant that I became a “viral hotel”, catching everything that was circulating on the plane. Since I started my hydration routine (several years prior to COVID), I’ve never gotten I’ll. Unlike the farmer, I do make a few trips to the bathroom, mostly preemptively as I hate waiting until I absolutely have to go, which always seemed to coincide with air turbulence and the “fasten your seatbelt” announcement. BUT, my output never matches my input until quite late in the flight. The first several hours is my body getting rehydrated especially given that we respire a lot of moisture. So, this was my short course, PSA, on dehydration in air travel. Now you know 🙂
Damn autocorrect and stubby fingers on a small screen…AC changed dehydrating to dehydration and ill to I’ll. Any other foibles of grammar, I likewise blame it on the “helpful” technology…….
I was on an Air France flight from CDG to IAD a few years ago where the couple in an adjacent seat drank beaucoup red wine and then acted like a couple of bunny rabbits for the remainder of the flight!
The whole getting to the airport part, dropping bags off, going through security and, if I’m lucky, to the lounge, getting through the whole boarding process, alla that in the summer heat and while carrying backpacks and carry-ons means I board the plane extremely thirsty (surely I’ve grabbed a quick drink in the lounge but that doesn’t even in the slightest make up for the quantity my body needs to replenish). I’ve actually often drank 1,5 to 2,0 liters of water on a 3-hour flight (seated in business class, since at economy I’d be lucky to get even 2 glasses of water, or at least I don’t bother to ask for more, unless it’s impossible to keep going without drinking (so I’ve had my fare share of dried up lips ).
By the way drinking alcohol does not hydrate your body.
But I think he must have paid a visit to the lavatory during that flight, I’d have used it at least twice during the aforementioned 3-hour flight.
Haha, don’t know how my phone somehow auto-typed “alla”, instead of “all”. But just like Pat, I too don’t necessarily find the total number of drinks that man had to be extreme. I remember a German once in Emirates economy class back in 2016 ordering pretty much every cocktail on the menu and after he had those he must have had 3-4 cans of beer. Unfortunately he was seating right behind me, so the whole alcohol exhaust gases coming out of his mouth basically dazed me. That guy was as drunk as one can be (but I’m sure the only reason he ordered that many is because he could and of course because it was free!).
You judged farmers as hard drinkers from one farmer. You’re an idiot.
I come from a family of farmers. Oh.
The part that’s killer about the whole story is how much attention the author paid to not only what & how much the seatmate drank, but his bathroom ysage also. Then he wrote an article about it. It’s borderline creepy and a perfect example of why I do not care an oz about anyone else’s opinion. Clearly if you’re that concerned about other people you don’t know, you don’t have your own business and you’re life probably sucks . Lol keep watching others enjoy life & judging them because you’re not busy being awesome.
So glad you’re never in the same aircraft or lounge with me, much less my seat mate.
Have a nice flight!
Can’t wait to fly United since they offer such a range of drinks and frequent service! You’ve never sat next to me Matthew!
I have manged a full sized bottle of Chardonnay between Cape Town and Johannesburg, and almost a full sized bottle of champagne between Paris and Copenhagen. What kind of article would that get me if we shared a seat row? 😀
My dad is 87, and kind of reminds me of that guy. Some of these old folks are just a different breed.
One man’s meat is another man’s poison. This guy did nothing wrong though I’ve never ordered so much on one LH flight. Red neck from ATL to MSP in delta biz next to me. FA walks past first row to take lunch orders from back and ran out of beef ribs. This dude was 3 Woodford-n-cokes in and was still whining to her about having veg meals and not beef. All this while watching Fox from wheels up.
Dude was passed out as we all got of the plane. I commended her for her professionalism as I went out
Choose meat or poison but don’t bother others especially service people
Wow, I can’t imagine being seated that long without hitting the can. Add a few drinks to the mix, I hope that man’s renal function’s okay.
Quite a story!
Whenever Princess Margaret, may she rest in peace, boarded the Concorde to Barbados (to connect to Mustique), catering always reserved two fully-stocked beverage/alcohol carts exclusively for her. The first bottle of champagne was usually empty before take-off. When she disembarked, most of the times more or less nothing was left over. Sometimes she would need an arm of one of her aides to walk down the gangway. As for her bathroom use frequency, unsure….