I’ve got to hand it to my seatmate with the hollow leg: I’ve never seen a man drink so much on a plane and not even get up to use the lavatory…
My Thirsty Seatmate On United
I mentioned my seatmate in my United Airlines trip report from London to Los Angeles…a farmer complete with a checkered shirt and blue jeans who has a farm in Kern County, north of Los Angeles. He was not a large man and appeared to be in his mid 70s or early 80s.
What I didn’t mention was his amusing beverage consumption…and his hollow leg.
It started before takeoff. A flight attendant offered water or sparkling wine on a tray and he grabbed both, saying, “Don’t mind if I do.”
After takeoff, he wanted a Jack Daniel’s whiskey. Then another one. Then another one. He was talkative and showed no signs of being inebriated.
With dinner he had a glass of red wine. He ended up not eating his meal (United’s beef short ribs leave much to be desired), but he did have a refill on the wine.
So think about it. Two hours: five drinks. Limited food (he ate the mixed nuts and then had ice cream).
I woke up from my nap because he was speaking to the flight attendant. He wanted a Coca Cola. Full can.
He had some potato chips with that, then actually pressed his call button and ordered another can of Coke and a glass of water and some orange juice! All at once!
The flight attendant and I looked at each other…was he for real?
At least he had moved on from alcohol.
Before landing, lunch was served. He ordered another Coke and another glass of water.
The weirdest thing? Unless he got up while I was sleeping, the older gentleman did not get up once during the flight! Pretty amazing considering the prostate issues many older men face, forcing them to frequently the little boys’ room.
So let’s tally (and again, this was only while I was awake):
- 2 waters
- 3 whiskeys
- 2 red wines
- 3 Cokes
- 1 orange juice
Where does all that go if not in a hollow leg?
I knew farmers were hard workers…I didn’t know they were hard drinkers. I cannot ever recall seeing a seatmate drink so much during one flight.
Sorry, no pictures. You’ll have to use your imagination.