Admittedly, I scoffed at first, but perhaps the Trump administration’s push to make the skies friendlier is actually smart public policy and does not undermine the far more pressing goal of modernizing the air traffic control system. An “airplane etiquette coach” makes several valid points.
Maybe An “Airplane Etiquette Coach” Isn’t Such A Terrible Idea After All
When reports emerged that Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy had floated the idea of promoting better passenger behavior on airplanes, including a recent interview with an “etiquette coach” flagged by One Mile At A Time, my initial response was dismissive. With aging infrastructure, staffing shortages, and air traffic control modernization desperately overdue, this felt like the wrong priority.
But context matters.
Duffy prefaced his remarks by making clear that his primary focus remains on modernizing the nation’s air traffic control system, a task that genuinely deserves urgency and sustained attention. This was not presented as a substitute for hard policy work, but as an adjunct. And yes, we can walk and chew gum at the same time.
If you don’t care to watch the video, here is what they discussed:
Sean Duffy: Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy here with Allison Shepardak. She’s an author, influencer, public speaker, and etiquette coach. What etiquette should we have as we’re traveling this holiday season? Good to be with you in these airline seats.
Allison Shepardak: Happy to be here, thank you.
Sean: The greatest thing for American aviation is a new air traffic control system—that’s what I’m working on. But what are some red flags we shouldn’t do on planes?
Allison: Don’t reorganize your carry-on when people are trying to pass to their seats. Avoid bringing smelly, messy, or noisy food. Bare feet are a no. Wear earphones when listening or watching something. Avoid speakerphone or loud conversations.
Sean: Is how we dress an issue?
Allison: Yes, dress to show respect—functional, practical, comfortable, and respectful.
Sean: What about green flags, positive things? Allison: Help someone struggling with carry-on or baggage claim. Encourage parents traveling alone with kids. Be an ambassador for our country to visitors—show civility and kindness.
Sean: Beige flags—should or shouldn’t?
Allison: Switching seats is fine if you respect the answer and ask for a similar seat. Reclining: It depends—look behind; don’t if they’re eating or working, okay if sleeping on overnight. Middle seat gets both armrests; tuck elbows in.
Sean: DOT and America are grateful. Thank you.
Allison: Thank you so much.
Great Expectations Are A Good Thing
The proposal itself was less about lecturing passengers and more about setting expectations. Duffy spoke about civility, courtesy, and shared responsibility in confined spaces where tempers already run hot. Anyone who flies with any regularity knows that passenger behavior has degraded noticeably in recent years (though it is better from its pandemic lows). Fights at gates, arguments over seatbacks, open alcohol consumption, and general disregard for basic norms are all too common.
One line in particular stood out to me: “Be an ambassador for our country to visitors—show civility and kindness.”
That sentiment is somewhat ironic given the broader tone of hostility and suspicion this administration often projects toward foreign visitors. But irony aside, it is still a laudable goal. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and the “ugly American” trope did not materialize out of thin air. Loud, entitled, impatient behavior abroad has harmed America’s image for decades.
Yet that stereotype also feels outdated…or at least incomplete. In my experience, Americans are generally warm, generous, and kind people. You see it in small moments: helping strangers with luggage, chatting with seatmates, showing patience when things go wrong. The problem is that the worst behavior is the most visible, especially in viral videos and social media clips. Yet I think it is a great thing to hear our leaders say we need to be better ambassadors to visitors. Yes, we do… including me.
If even a modest effort to reset expectations helps reduce tension onboard, supports flight attendants, and reminds people they are sharing a public space, I think these sorts of public service announcements are worth the effort.
CONCLUSION
At first glance, this sounded like the sort of unserious distraction that makes the Department of Transportation feel like a parody. But upon closer examination, I realized that my reaction wasn’t entirely fair.
Modernizing air traffic control should absolutely remain the priority. But encouraging basic decency in the skies does not detract from that mission. If anything, it acknowledges a simple truth: aviation is not just about hardware and systems, but about human behavior. Regardless of how airlines squeeze us and make the flying experience miserable, we can still be kind to one another.
An etiquette push will not fix everything, and it will not reach the people most determined to misbehave. Still, the goal of making air travel more civil, and helping retire the “ugly American” stereotype along the way, is policy that I support.
> Read More: U.S. Transportation Secretary Says YOU Are The Reason Air Travel Has Become Uncivilized
“Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all. They’re underused.” — Tommy Lee Jones —
Tommy Lee Jones does a bunch of cool cameos in Japanese advertisements for Suntory coffee. Kinda random, like your quoting him here.
Government have suggested to citizens not to spit, throw litter, or be too loud when visiting other countries.
I suppose the etiquette offensive does not have to interfere with other priorities. And increased civility and awaredness of other travelers would help.
Would like to see your ‘hot takes’ on anything the former Secretary of Transportation did or said… I’d imagine it’s just as open-minded and… civil. Hmm.
There’s a certain irony about any member of the Trump administration appearing alongside an etiquette coach.
Agreed…
Do as I say, not as my boss does.
@ Matthew– NOTHING coming from this administration makes a good point.
Everything discussed is basically (what should be) common courtesy and Golden Rule and SHOULD have been learned by adulthood. The likelihood of any adult who hasn’t already learned these lessons (almost every member of this administration) learning the lessons from Duffy (or anyone else for that matter) is infinitesimally small. Agree completely with the irony of a MAGAmoron (sorry for redundancy) offering lessons in etiquette and civility and common courtesy, almost as arrogantly and sadly pathetic as “cyber bullying” (Be Best) as the First Lady’s “cause” during his first administration.
Oh yeah, at least the First Lady has the decency to not even have a public awareness campaign this time around, a few less occurrences of MAGA (and MAGA adjacent) trying to blow smoke up our as-es.
Much of the problem is due to a two tier society, the have and have-nots, which brings out the worst in both. With the haves, it’s not uncommon for someone with “status” to think that the rules don’t all apply to them but even more often, of course, the have-nots feel like they WANT to be in status so they “act out”.
So you’re sitting in the cattle section of the airport and can’t afford the lounge? Well, you can show your “status” by blasting your wonderful music on speakerphone and if someone tries to give you a problem about it, there’s a nonzero chance there could be a physical confrontation so they don’t.
The speakerphone issue is a particularly gripe of mine and example of post-peak capitalism: It was Phil Schiller who came up with this “innovation” where, hey, make a few more bucks selling iPhone bluetooth headsets. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Well, 3rd hand iphones go for cheap to the cattle crowd class who have issues with technology or, heck, just plain old people. To solve the problem, in the past, if someone was listening to their phone on a plane you could simply tell them to get a (usually complimentary) set of free earphones from the FA or hit the Dollar Tree. Now, even if you have a bluetooth headset, the battery may sometimes not be charged. What then?
Plus there’s the victimhood issue. Whether legitimate or not, who wants to be in a “privileged” class but not really? If you can afford business class and a lounge, great, but the rest of the non-privileged class (for real) WANT to feel that way so if they see themselves as victims, again, “act out” and take out the entitlement upon those around them. Society gave them a bad hand so they return the favor. BOTH sides of our partisan society are guilty of this.
Bleah.
I’d like to see reform for our airports:
1) International transit areas, please. Allow people transiting through the USA to easily catch their next flight without having to through an hour of customs. Can we become a 1st world country in that regard?
2) Comfy areas of the airport to wait. We have tons of baggage shops with 1 or 2 people looking inside while the plebes crowd the gates. If someone has 4 hours to kill, it would be nice to have a couch to lay down on.
3) Affordable food and beverage options.
4) A place for the kids to play for layovers.
As Matt put it, our airports are like shopping malls and I HATE shopping malls.
Does that mean we can’t say, “Quiet Piggy” anymore?
That interview was like something out of a movie that promotes an elite ruling class giving lessons on how everyone else should behave. It gave me Hunger Games vibes. Sorry, there is nothing here that is not understood by any educated person. Yet MAGA wants to lecture us?
I hope someone does a satire on this with Mayor Pete interviewing an etiquette coach on what it takes to be a leader in the world today.