This is a story about customer service. Or the lack thereof. The ability to let rules overrule common sense. Let’s review the story of a magician named Danny and his checked back lost, found, yet irretrievably out of reach, all at Newark International Airport.
Abracadabra: United Airlines Makes A Magician’s Bag Disappear Through The Old Tarmac Trick
Danny Orleans is a magician. On Tuesday, he took a United Airlines flight from Chicago (ORD) to Newark (EWR). He’s a frequent flyer for work and although you generally want to avoid checking in valuable items, his work depends upon it: try taking the hacksaw you use to cut a woman in half or the sword you use to impale the man in the box past the TSA…
(Danny had sound equipment in his bag, also too big to check, worth about $1500).
He arrived in Newark, headed to the United Club for a “free” lunch (a man after my own heart…), then proceeded down to baggage claim. He made it before the bags had even started coming down the belt.
But as the bags appeared, his did not.
He had another trick, though: Apple AirTags.
It showed his bag was on the tarmac.
He entered the customer service line and waited patiently for an agent. It was finally his turn and he got Carol Beer.
The United rep told him that his bag was not in Newark: that it had not been scanned past Chicago.
But, wait Danny said. He pulled out his phone and showed the agent that the bag was actually in Newark…on the tarmac.
But Carol said that there was nothing that could be done beyond sending the bag to his hotel within five days.
Of course, his show was over the next three days…
So Danny decided to book himself a refundable ticket, proceed though security agian, and try to locate the bag himself.
And he did.
The AirTags indicated that his bag was near gate 90 in Terminal C (even though he landed at gate 113). He walked to gate 90 and looked out the window…
…and there was his bag, sitting out there all by its self.
A member of United ground staff walked by it. Would he grab it? Nope. He just ignored it.
So Danny summoned a United employee and pointed out his bag.
The employee was mortified…and personally went out to get the bag, meeting Danny in baggage claim.
Lesson: listen to your customers, especially when they have AirTags.
Ironically, on Wednesday Danny received an email concerning the matter from United Airlines. An apology, right? Nope. United let him know it was still looking for his bag and would update him when found…
When asked to comment, a United spokesperson said:
“We do our best to deliver bags on time for everyone – we are pleased to have Mr. Orleans as a customer, are glad he got his bag, and refunded him the cost of the extra ticket.”
How generous.
CONCLUSION
Usually, it is Danny that makes things appear and disappear, but not this time. This time it was United.
I find this story absurd that the baggage agent in Newark refused to deviate beyond what the computer said, but laud the other employee for going out to retrieve the bag. But it really never should have come to that. Once again, we see what an important accountability check AirTags provides.
image: Danny Orleans superimposed on photo of Newark Airport
This was a fantastic post. Really enjoyed it on many levels. Love his moxie!
“Danny Orleans is a musician.”
Oops. stepped on your own punchline there. Good story though.
How incredibly indescribably generous of them to refund him the cost of his fully refundable ticket that he didn’t use for travel. I mean wow.
Would it have killed them to even pretend to look into this so that it doesn’t happen again? I’m not suggesting that they should.. you know… like talk to the gate agent that refused to help or anything or maybe provide some training. Just that they pretend they might possibly care one iota.
Last time I flew, my sister and I noticed a bag on the tarmac. Saw several workers walk right past it. We reported it to the Alaska gate agent and she arranged it’s removal.
I had a very similar experience a 3 months ago in Newark too, it all started with me leaving my computer in the seatback pocket of my inbound flight. Having a 6 hour layover, I headed to town, and thats when I realized my computer was missing. I raced back to EWR, while on the phone with a 1K agent who transferred me to a lost and found desk, whose suggestion was “go to the baggage claim help desk”.
At the desk, the lady working was trying everything to locate or even see if the laptop was reported, however, she had very limited information handed to her, and told me to file a report, while also suggesting I go to my inbound gate and get a gate agent to help me out, or at least call a supervisor. So I show up to gate, I explain my situation to the gate agent, who said she could help me out as soon as she finished working the flight, also telling me that all? supervisors were currently in a meeting, so I head to the club for 20-30 minutes for food.
Back at the gate was a different gate agent, and I told him my situation, his response “I’ve been working this gate all day long and have not seen a laptop reported, you are wasting your time”. Not giving up yet, I asked him to call a supervisor, which he did, in quite an unpleasant tone. Once they showed up is when things got interesting, I once again told them my situation, for which one of the 2 supervisors that showed up said “Any time a laptop gets left behind, it gets reported to me, I’ve been working nonstop the last 15 hours, and not a single laptop has been found.” Of course, being persistent, I told him if he could call anyone to confirm, or check again, for which he refused, and suggested I buy a new one… After about 30 minutes of back and forward, I gave up on them, and started heading to my gate as my INTL flight was boarding.
At this point, did I only now thing about “find my”, and wouldn’t you know it, my computer’s last reported location was at a separate pier of C than from where my flight arrived to. I tracked it down to a customer service desk, here I tell the agent my story “we don’t do lost and found here you need to go to-” before getting cut off by another agent who said “did you say laptop? hold on”. She reaches into a drawer and wouldn’t you know it… she had my laptop, with a copy of my boarding pass taped to it (so they clearly knew whose laptop it was since I was traveling with a mobile bp that day).
So yeah, I got lied by a gate agent and supervisor, who both were clearly irritated and dismissive about my laptop, making it feel and saying how I was wasting their time… I have a lot to say about the emotions that went through my head once I found It, especially about those agents, but I was just glad to get it at the end of the day, especially since I ended up showing up to my flight on final boarding call.
It’s pathetic that employees walked right past the bag. I thought you can’t have foreign objects lying on the tarmac.
Agreed. I’ve worked on the ramp for AA in CLT for 15 yrs. It’s not a good perception by the customer to see an employee walk right past a bag. That’s a customer’s bag. It has to be somewhere – either on a plane, baggage claim or the baggage service office. You wouldn’t like it if it was your bag. Go the extra mile & do a good deed for the day & make yourself feel good by taking responsibility. That’s your job. You’re making almost $40 hourly at top pay grade. Indescribable laziness, it’s not my job, etc.
Why is it that no other airline went the way of DL with RFID tags. Apparently the ground crew failed to scan the offload bags or at least missed Danny’s. Had Danny’s bag been scanned it would have downed in UA’s system. Does DL have better scan reliably? There has been no improvement in bag tracking by airlines in a decade, why?
I think you enjoyed writing this one!
Great post, but replace mollified with mortified
Wow, this magician’s story is truly unbelievable! It’s incredible to see the dedication and creativity he put into making his checked bag from United Airlines disappear. The lengths he went to are both impressive and entertaining. It just goes to show the power of magic and the artistry behind it. I can’t help but be amazed by his skills and the effort he invested in creating this illusion. This magician is truly one of a kind!
OMG amazeballs. Btw, “This time it was Untied” was correct for once!