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Home » Flight Attendant » How Flight Attendants Shamefully Protect Their Own
Delta Air LinesFlight AttendantLaw In Travel

How Flight Attendants Shamefully Protect Their Own

Matthew Klint Posted onNovember 25, 2023November 25, 2023 66 Comments

a group of people walking through an airport

Yesterday I wrote about an incident on Delta Air Lines in which an off-duty flight attendant become so “bombed” onboard (after consuming five cans of wine) that she kissed and grabbed the butt of her seatmate without consent and also vaped onboard. But the real heart of this story is how another flight attendant tried to protect her and could lose his job for doing so.

Flight Attendants Protect Their Own: A Case Study On Delta

I’ve been flying over 100,000 miles per year for nearly two decades now and this aviation-focused blog will celebrate its 15th anniversary next year. Over that time and through those many miles, I have met many flight attendants. Several have become friends. Many more have given me remarkable insight into the life of a flight attendant and the relationship between union and management. Some are the sources of many of the “inside baseball” items I write about on Live And Let’s Fly.

At least in the USA and Western Europe, flight attendants are no longer just young women starting their careers, but a cadre of men and women, many of whom have other careers and fly on the side for fun or for flight benefits. They are educated, talented, and mature, bringing an added skillset to the skies.

There’s a certain brotherhood and sisterhood when it comes to being a flight attendant that I view as a two-edged sword. It’s actually quite a beautiful thing to see such a diverse group of people come together with work so well together (generally, not always) on the basis of their shared uniform. And many flight attendants are simply fun to be around.

On the other hand, there is a tendency among flight attendants to protect one another without reservation, a fascinating phenomenon and one that can be quite destructive.

The Delta Case

Delta flight attendant John Riss was just being kind. It’s how flight attendants take care of their own. When he saw his colleague Abigail Trebnick-Emerson flying non-rev on a flight from Las Vegas to Minneapolis he or his colleague hooked her up with free drinks.

Only Trebnick-Emerson did not know how to pace herself. After consuming two cans of wine, she had two more. In the process, she became drunk and assaulted her seatmate.

Rather than put the brakes on the alcohol, she was served a fifth can of wine.

Panic ensued on the ground, though, when the female passenger reported Trebnick-Emerson.

Take a look at the Facebook Messenger exchange between Trebnick-Emerson and Riss, filed as part of the lawsuit against Delta and the off-duty flight attendant:

a screenshot of a phone a screenshot of a chat a screenshot of a chat a screenshot of a chat a screenshot of a chat a screenshot of a chat a screenshot of a phone a screenshot of a chat

TLDR: I told them I saw nothing and served you no alcohol, but you kissed the woman and were really drunk.

Fascinating, isn’t it? It isn’t clear to me how these screenshots were obtained in the first place.

Riss has put his own job on the line to protect Trebnick-Emerson. From his words, it appears he covered for her, saying he had no knowledge of physical contact onboard between the off-duty flight attendant and the passenger next to her. It is not clear if he was the one who served her alcohol or if it was just his colleague, but that may be another part of the “cover-up” and give the plaintiff more ammo that Delta is guilty of negligence.

This does not seem to be a situation like Sleepers, the 1996 movie in which Father “Bobby” Carillo (played by Robert De Niro) is faced with the moral dilemma of having to lie on the stand to protect a group of boys from physical abuse. I don’t see the moral dilemma here…

CONCLUSION

This is a fascinating case not just because of what occurred but because of how flight attendants appeared to have worked together to cover it up. In my experience, this is not at all surprising. Sometimes, though, we mess up, and trying to protect a co-worker who is guilty of clear wrongdoing seems quite shameful to me.


image: Delta Air Lines

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About Author

Matthew Klint

Matthew is an avid traveler who calls Los Angeles home. Each year he travels more than 200,000 miles by air and has visited more than 135 countries. Working both in the aviation industry and as a travel consultant, Matthew has been featured in major media outlets around the world and uses his Live and Let's Fly blog to share the latest news in the airline industry, commentary on frequent flyer programs, and detailed reports of his worldwide travel.

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66 Comments

  1. Oops Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 1:10 pm

    That conversation should have been by phone not in writing

    • Ehud Reply
      November 26, 2023 at 10:21 am

      The FA’s email address should be redacted. It’s unfair to him to be doxxed in such a manner.

      • Matthew Klint Reply
        November 26, 2023 at 12:49 pm

        These are court documents.

    • GUWonder Reply
      November 28, 2023 at 7:18 pm

      Encrypted app/voice call or ephemeral messages for privacy maximization when the conversations among the involved persons aren’t face to face. Or better yet just don’t get involved in a cover-up and don’t involve others and just take the due lumps. Or best yet, don’t lose your senses and avoid getting intoxicated if you’re at risk of doing so.

      A lot of people really need a primer on privacy maximization in the current era.

  2. Mike Skaggs Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 1:30 pm

    I honestly don’t see how Mr. Ris could be in any trouble. I have no reason not to believe that he didn’t see the alleged kiss or the grope. This seems like more of a ‘heads up’ than a ‘cover up’ to me. Good luck proving who served her. Not that it matters. I’m 100% responsible for my alcohol intake and behavior as a non-rev.

    I have had HR call me numerous times about various issues that I was not a witness to asking for a statement. Surgery seems to be a solid excuse for not making a statement.

    As for Abby, Buck-ee’s is hiring.

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 1:39 pm

      I think one of the two flight attendants involved could be in trouble for over-serving even if they both lie and deny it. Someone served her…and apparently comped her.

      My problem with this exchange is not lying per se, but withholding critical info that could adversely impact the company.

      • Mike Skaggs Reply
        November 25, 2023 at 1:56 pm

        She must have drank before she got on the plane and/or has some other substance that contributed to this behavior. I don’t know any adult that has 5 drinks and acts like this. If she was served more alcohol after the complaint; that could be problematic but FAs aren’t like bartenders that are able to continuously view behavior,

        I’m giving Mr. Ris the benefit of the doubt pending further info. I would also feel the same as a juror.

  3. SMR Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 2:44 pm

    Why is this part of the new garbage boarding area ? Hate it so much. Matthew. Rewind 6 years and look what you posted and compare to the garbage you post today.

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 2:59 pm

      Because these posts go viral. It’s not that difficult nor am I trying to hide it. But I post more trip reports than I did six years ago as well so long-time readers still get quality content (as well as the extra fluff that pays the bills and frankly that I enjoy writing too).

      I find this story fascinating. Not sure why you do not…

      • Christian Reply
        November 25, 2023 at 3:16 pm

        Tribalism exists in most professions. Do you truly believe that cops, pilots, or hotel coworkers don’t sweep things under the carpet? I’d argue that this is simply a small scale example of corruption.

        • Matthew Klint Reply
          November 25, 2023 at 3:21 pm

          Totally agree with you Christian.

    • GUWonder Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 10:22 pm

      The audience and the market gets what it deserves. If the audience for the tantalizing and tabloid-esque runs up the attention that brings in the money, then it’s what finances the rest of the content that may be more appreciated by a more niche or different segment of the marketplace.

      • Aaron Reply
        November 27, 2023 at 2:38 am

        Kind of? It seems stories like this on average get 3 to 4 more comments than actual trip reviews or most posts about airline news (unless it changes to a loyalty system)…so it does seem more people are here for the sensationalistic stuff. Oh well.

    • Aaron Reply
      November 27, 2023 at 2:40 am

      I wonder how the change happened…there definitely used to be more people posting on trip reports and reviews. Did they leave and were they replaced by the people who appreciate the sensational posts, or did they leave because of the new crop of people who posted?

      • Matthew Klint Reply
        November 28, 2023 at 6:18 pm

        Very few comment at all. Some flight reviews do much better than others. Full-service US and European carriers, yes. Budget carriers, nope.

  4. Christian Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 2:53 pm

    While @SMR may be a little over the top you have been getting more tabloid over time. The never-lapse-from-neutral has become more of a guideline than a rule, like the Pirates Code.

  5. JohnTA Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 4:09 pm

    Who cares? I mean this subject does not paint minorities in a negative light so, frankly, I’m a little surprised it made it on to your radar.

  6. SMR Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 4:20 pm

    I used to come here to read travel blogs and hear about airline mileage programs and changes. Now there’s so much negativity and articles about worthless stuff , it’s hard to keep coming back. It’s not just Matthew (who is a good guy and even emailed me once ). It’s boarding area as a whole. Leff is as far left or worse than CNN and more and more of this website is this viral crap that people try to get away from when they come here. It’s so sad that this is fascinating. It shames flight crew … leave that to their employers and let’s move along.

    • rich Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 6:09 pm

      I think the problem is that they have to post “x” number of times per day to generate views and/or satisfy people paying them ad money. Seems like the number is around 5 times per day.

      I think they also have little say in the ads that the boarding area inserts on their site so the annoying stuff like pop-ups occur.

      Kind of a victim of their own success. They could go out on their own and just do their thing but probably would take a financial hit. If you follow The Frequent Miler, their content is different and the ads usually much less since they don’t push stuff like those on the Boarding Area and other “big time” web sites.

    • 41PC Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 7:35 pm

      100%

      • Matthew Klint Reply
        November 25, 2023 at 9:48 pm

        Easy solution, and not being snarky. Don’t click on a story that doesn’t interest you. The clickbait stories are pretty easy to identify.

        • Stc Reply
          November 26, 2023 at 7:45 am

          I want more Royal Family articles. Especially Meghan. Who’s with me?

          • Matthew Klint
            November 28, 2023 at 6:19 pm

            Clickbait gold.

    • GUWonder Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 10:26 pm

      Leff has been and remains far closer to traditional Republican ideology than he has been to anything “left”.

      • John L Reply
        November 26, 2023 at 8:01 am

        Huh? This statement makes zero sense or is an outright lie.

        If you think Leff is closer to GOP ideology, you are far far far left

        • OCTinPHL Reply
          November 26, 2023 at 10:39 am

          I think Gary would admit he is libertarian. He may be left on social issues (I’m not sure) but his posts re: regulation, antitrust, etc., come off as strongly libertarian.

        • GUWonder Reply
          November 26, 2023 at 10:41 am

          Word on the street was that Leff’s had his take-home pay padded by way of some major Republican Party donors over the years, the kind of donors who supported his paid position because of ideological affinity.

          Haven’t you noticed his anti-regulation, anti-union positions?

          • Aaron
            November 27, 2023 at 2:42 am

            Wow, that is interesting about Leff…if true.

          • Loretta Jackson
            November 27, 2023 at 10:21 am

            >Word on the street was that Leff’s had his take-home pay padded by way of some major Republican Party donors over the years, the kind of donors who supported his paid position because of ideological affinity.

            This is straight up defamation. What do you think your Swedish employer will say once they see your Nazi posts?

          • GUWonder
            November 27, 2023 at 12:03 pm

            “Loretta Jackson”,

            “Swedish employer”?

            You’re amusingly clueless, so let me clue you in about an American employer instead using the proudly-espoused public record:

            https://www.mercatus.org/people/gary-d-leff

        • Loretta Jackson Reply
          November 26, 2023 at 3:54 pm

          GUWonder wrote on Oct 8 that “he would like to see more dead Jews”. He’s a Nazi.

          • GUWonder
            November 27, 2023 at 11:49 am

            “Loretta Jackson”, you are a serial liar with your false claims about me.

            I continue to mourn for and have sympathy for all peoples whose lives have been ruined by Hamas and other violent actors who kill, injure and violently seize unarmed civilians in the course of their violently-pursued political objectives — and that applies regardless of religion and geography of the victims or perpetrators of violence.

            Your lies about me speak volumes about the worth of your character and your mental state. So please get yourself some mental therapeutic help before you physically hurt yourself or others in the course of your delusions or have a stroke or heart attack from riling yourself up over fiction of your own making and from my existence.

            By the way, I’ve been around more prayers inside synagogues this month than I have been to churches, mosques, temples, shrines and gurdwaras all year.

  7. JorgeGeorge Paez Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 5:13 pm

    Paging Tim Dunn!

    • CHRIS Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 5:52 pm

      Oh he’ll have a stroke trying to think up a reply/justification for this.

  8. John Dogas Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 6:46 pm

    FAs not being young women just starting their careers is an indictment, not a compliment. It’s not beautiful to see old ladies and middle aged crews who suck dry airlines with their union jobs that put passengers last. It’s beautiful to see young European flight attendants who are fun, energetic, and don’t want to embarrass themselves in front of their friends by not pulling their own weight or offering poor service.

    Flight attendants in the U.S. tend to be the bottom of the bunch nowadays. There are some exceptions but it mostly is an accurate statement. Being a flight attendant was not meant to be a career. It’s a job people should move on from after 10 years into motherhood or better office based careers without all the walking and dexterity requirements. How can a person not get jaded if they work 30 years serving drinks from a cart on a plane.

    The reason FAs may stick together in the U.S. is misery loves company and the bad take care of the bad which an overwhelming amount are nowadays. I’ll take the young European cabin crew.

    • Paul Siemienczuk Reply
      November 26, 2023 at 3:22 am

      Umm, flight attendants are not there to entertain you. Most passengers don’t realize what a precarious situation they are in. You ain’t in a bus. The cabin crew are there to maintain order and protect your life in the event of an emergency. And you don’t think this a worthwhile profession?

    • Your motha Reply
      November 26, 2023 at 9:06 am

      There is no incentive to leave if after 12 years of flying you can easily earn 130-160k a year. It’s a well paying career, that gives you major flexibility and perks. Hope you never need their safety survives on a flight. Don’t ever stop breathing or need CPR.

  9. 41PC Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 7:32 pm

    Why not show a modicum of decency and blur out John’s email address?

    • rich Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 8:59 pm

      He kind of dug his own grave.

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 9:49 pm

      This is part of the court record. Available online for anyone who looks.

  10. James Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 9:44 pm

    Matt are you in San Miguel de Allende right now?

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      November 25, 2023 at 9:45 pm

      Nope. Huntington Beach, CA.

  11. GUWonder Reply
    November 25, 2023 at 10:17 pm

    The corrupt and corrupting go along to get along while both guiding others to do the same nonsense and signaling to others to get in line and stay silent about messed up ways. And when someone decides to take on the corrupt and expose their bad ways, there is risk of being wrongfully flagged as “the problem” and subject to vindictiveness.

    It is a story as old as history, and the hero(ine) is the person who stands up to chart their own independent course in opposition of those who go along to get along and push forward a course of bullying and other messed up ways.

  12. Rob Reply
    November 26, 2023 at 5:24 am

    ‘The blue wall of silence’ comes to mind as a parallel….

  13. Jerry Reply
    November 26, 2023 at 8:21 am

    This is a good reminder that honestly truly is the best policy. I think the FA working the flight would look a whole lot better if they just admitted they may have over served the non-revving FA. Admitting a mistake is always better than trying to cover it up. Who really wants to live in a world where liars get their way?

  14. Santastico Reply
    November 26, 2023 at 10:09 am

    One thing not related to hiding stuff from co-workers but that I see a lot from FAs mostly in flights to and from South America is how often they upgrade family and friends to business class. Many times you check the cabin and you see several empty seats. Once boarding starts suddenly all those seats and filled with “coincidentally” people that they know. I have seen many times they chat the entire flight with people that are now taking seats that were empty right before boarding.

  15. Enzo Reply
    November 26, 2023 at 11:20 am

    Seems like a total bias perspective on your reporting and reading into that exchange what serves your narrative.

    The FA was clearly shocked and mortified of what she’s being accused of, recollects that she had a nice conversation with the lady next to her.

    There is no evidence of a grope or kiss, could easily have been inadvertent contact from someone clumsily getting out of their seat.

    The FA over shared with someone that is looking to take advantage. They see an opportunity to sue a large corporation and initiate the complaint.

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      November 26, 2023 at 12:49 pm

      We will see.

      • PolishKnight Reply
        November 26, 2023 at 4:13 pm

        Hello Matt. This is an interesting case in several ways: An employee of the airline overserved alcohol to another employee who groped and kissed a woman next to her. That’s it. This is almost as egregious as, say, some gay FA wearing tinted moisturizer in Qatar. Trial attorneys drool over these though: Deep pocketed airline, evidence of a cover up, and a sexual angle. I chuckled at the victim saying she needed to seek psychiatric treatment. “Whiplash! Whiplash!” In the text, the defendant claims that the victim has been caught in some lies implying that they’re looking for a payout and this is what sometimes kills otherwise solid cases. (More on this later.)

        I know three men who have lost their jobs from sexual harassment complaints far less offensive than the above woman’s FA behavior. I have developed the ability to survive in corporate America and found that avoidance isn’t sufficient. I was on the receiving end of two politically motivated complaints and prevailed over both due to my understanding of the law and human nature. (One woman had a gripe against me due to her friend disliking me and made up a BS complaint and when I pointed out to management she was a marine who claimed that she was “reasonably” offended over something my grandmother wouldn’t have noticed, they realized she wasn’t really offended and dropped the matter immediately).

        It helps I used to date an attorney who taught me a lot about how the system works. She said the worst thing is when someone lies to their lawyer. In the above case, the victim trying to exaggerate may hurt the case irrevocably but with the coverup, that may be recoverable.

        Now it appears a woman FA is being sent to the guillotine from what us working/middle class guys have been going through for 4 decades. In the words of John McClane in Die Hard:

        “Welcome to the party, pal!”

        • Aaron Reply
          November 27, 2023 at 2:44 am

          Oh dear, not what the working/middle class guys have had to endure lol

          • GUWonder
            November 27, 2023 at 2:11 pm

            I find it sort of interesting how some who whine about “others” “playing the victim card” then try to say “me too” — just not that “#metoo”.

            That said, there are male victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault at work places, conveyance facilities/places and elsewhere and such offenses are not always taken as equally seriously as they should be.

          • PolishKnight
            November 27, 2023 at 5:43 pm

            “Oh dear, not what the working/middle class guys have had to endure lol”

            I often heard this back in 2016:
            “I don’t understand why white guys voted for Trump. Our party constantly checks their privilege!”

            In the meantime, rather than make the USA more like Sweden (ABBA era) and Paris (Amélie era), it’s now more like Malmo (today) and Paris (today.) Progress…

          • Matthew Klint
            November 27, 2023 at 5:55 pm

            Your comment went over my head, but I just got back from Malmo and loved it!

          • Aaron
            November 27, 2023 at 5:59 pm

            @GUWonder

            True, but he is almost revealing his true colors by making it seem like poor men have been hounded for decades by those silly women accusing them of fake harassment claims…

            @Matthew

            He seems to hate that the US is becoming a more diverse country and not being as white washed as those European cities used to be.

          • GUWonder
            November 27, 2023 at 6:15 pm

            PK,

            The Sweden of the Abba era was too boring to make it very attractive to visit.

            The Malmo of today — much like the Copenhagen of today — is actually a far more interesting place to visit now than 20+ years ago. Stockholm too is also a more interesting place to visit now than 20+ years ago, but the city seems slated to continue to have a weaker long-haul flight network than Copenhagen.

          • GUWonder
            November 27, 2023 at 6:24 pm

            Matthew,

            Glad to hear you liked the place, but be careful or some kooks may accuse you of hobnobbing at the GUWonder global deep state local listening post and using covert governmental facilities to crack into who knows what.

          • PolishKnight
            November 28, 2023 at 3:31 pm

            Aaron: “He seems to hate that the US is becoming a more diverse country and not being as white washed as those European cities used to be.”

            I celebrated Columbus Day because Columbus introduced much needed diversity to the Native Americans. Qatar is also quite diverse…

            My 7 yo daughter is learning French to somehow take a trip to Paris, but I wonder how safe it will be to go there. I googled “is Paris dangerous” and got back: “Paris is considered a safe city to live in because common crimes, such as pickpocketing, robberies, and scams, are largely targeted at tourists.” Oh, that makes me feel a lot better!

            I used to live in LA. It wasn’t “livable” for me in that the only way to pay for a home that wasn’t a crack house was to be in the upper middle class. LA, like Malmo and the DC mall, probably has some nice areas where those who can afford to live in ideological bubbles or commute to Calabasas pumping CO2 into the atmosphere for an hour each way.

            Anyhoo, nice to see some equality for the ladies in losing their job from getting drunk and offending an easily offended woman. If I was 20, I’d register as a trans-woman and apply for women-only academic and sports scholarships. The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades…

  16. RatherNot Reply
    November 27, 2023 at 10:09 am

    As the person sitting next to these two ladies during the flight. Its not fair at all to blame the flight attendants. Abby got on that flight buzzed up, did get served a few wines but they slowed/stopped almost instantly once the other woman complained (I know, because the stopped bringing me my Jack Daniels too), and the woman pushing this lawsuit had zero issues until she found out Abby worked for Delta (then it suddenly became an issue $$$$).

    Picking and choosing snippets of the court docs can tell a story for clicks, doesn’t mean its an accurate representation though

    • Matthew Klint Reply
      November 27, 2023 at 11:36 am

      Are you a flight attendant too or just a passenger? I’m happy to hear your side and cover it – do reach out with a real email address if you are indeed who you say you are. Saying that I “chose a snippet” for clicks is really quite unreasonable considering I included the entire conversation as reflected in the court record.

      • RatherNot Reply
        November 27, 2023 at 4:09 pm

        I was the 3rd person in their row on that flight. I’ve already had to be in multiple court cases and interviewed by way too many people to want more. All I was meaning is it would be VERY difficult to blame the flight attendants. The whole mood of our row was pretty good and fun, the two ladies hit it off over how they were both married to military men and how hard it was, then they mutually got a little touchy with each other. It wasn’t until Abby let it slip that she was a pilot for a delta partner. Then the other female that is pushing the lawsuit suddenly saw dollar signs and got offended by everything.

        Its no secret we all had some drinks, that’s what comfort+ seating is for (especially coming home from Vegas). Abby also had pulled out a vape pen and pulled from it multiple times on the flight, which is what I believe was the real reason she got over the edge. The flight attendants did a great job and slowed her down real quick once signs were showing, that just isnt a good story for the plaintiffs lawyer to tell people.

      • RatherNot Reply
        November 27, 2023 at 4:12 pm

        I will send you a redacted copy of the subpeona that was served to me regarding this case as proof of who I am. But I dont want to do any more interviews over this. Its been a year of BS just because I was on a flight next to these two. Thankfully it sounds like its almost over.

        • Matthew Klint Reply
          November 27, 2023 at 4:37 pm

          Fair enough – I would appreciate that.

          • RatherNot
            November 27, 2023 at 5:33 pm

            Check your instagram DMs

  17. Bradley Kyle Reply
    November 28, 2023 at 6:14 am

    Why is anyone surprised by this? The waitresses on planes are as phony as the bus drivers. Flight crews are arrogant, think they are better than passengers, and have their heads so far up each other’s butts they fight for air. Worked with them for 14 years and talk about privileged b@$#×÷s!! Argue with you when you need them to cover a flight, expect the ground crew to cater to all their needs, and stick together like gorilla glue.

    They create problems with passengers that ground crews need to embarrassingly apologize for because they are just dumb. Coffee, tea, or me is the call sign of the sky waitress. This is typical behavior. Had one waitress come off a flight screaming at me that they were still waiting on a wheelchair. Pleasantries were exchanged, and she decided that since I told her all they ever do is poop on me, she tried to have me fired. Little did I know she slept her way into the uniform because her husband was a senior vice president at DL during this time. After that and all the bs they pull, I have zero respect for the hoes. Yes they cover each other’s asses and the company will believe a flight crew over anybody else. I hope they all loose their jobs, but they won’t. DL is to scared they will unionize if she is fired. Piss on them all.

    • PrickAlert Reply
      November 29, 2023 at 9:45 am

      I cant lie, you sound like a prick.

  18. Luz Adriana Ossa Reply
    January 6, 2024 at 9:14 pm

    I have a story to tell about what happened to me but everyone says I should just not say anything and let it go and heal. I reported everything to Delta but all I got was a polite letter saying that they would investigate but could not tell me the outcome because of privacy policies. It’s about a Korean American flight attendant, first class from Seattle to South Korea and my now ex husband.

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