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Home  >  Hotel Reviews • Hotels  >  I Challenge You To Identify This Hotel Brand
Hotel ReviewsHotels

I Challenge You To Identify This Hotel Brand

Kyle Stewart Posted onJune 17, 2018September 15, 2021 34 Comments

We stayed at a hotel that was so far off brand that we checked out before our luggage arrived from the bell staff. Without cheating, can you identify this bad hotel room’s brand? 


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The Damage

The hotel itself might have been acceptable if the price point had been lower, or the brand had been different than the one we expected to find, but it was so bad that we just left. First things first, I am a top-tier elite with this chain holding more than a million points in my account currently, and have re-qualified for status with the brand before the end of April.

The “upgrade” was to an ADA room with an ocean view walk-out. Perhaps this was an upgrade for someone with status, and perhaps it wasn’t. Personally, I don’t consider a room with a view to be a status upgrade because though it may be better than staring at the parking lot, anyone that complains or requests it will get one. Plus it’s more or less luck of the draw. If you were to arrive early in the day perhaps you get a room with a view, versely arriving last could give you the room they have been holding back all day.

Anyway…

Here’s the view, and yes, it is the best part.

Great view
Great view
This is patio
This is patio
Someone's discarded towel buried in the greenery
Someone’s discarded towel buried in the greenery

4PM Checkin Denied

You’ve heard of the 4PM late checkout being denied right? How about a 4PM checkin? At this particular property, checkout is 11AM and checkin is 3PM for any guest. We arrived at 4:40PM and were told the room was not yet ready. The property offered us a very generous allowance at the hotel restaurant and apologized. The front desk agent took my cell phone number and said she would call me as soon as it was ready which should be any minute. Fair enough.

Over an hour later, we still hadn’t received the call and I thought that it was worth returning to the front desk to make sure that they hadn’t forgotten about us. They had, and once I was checked in to the room I received a text stating my room was ready. The time was 5:55PM.

The room was about as plain Jane as it gets.

Pretty standard layout
Pretty standard layout
Small TV
Small TV
ADA Shower
ADA Shower
Toilet
Toilet

Avoidable Issues Go Unavoided

I spoke with my brother who used to work in the hospitality business and defended the property first stating, “It’s Key West” meaning that allowances should be made. He used to say the same thing for places like New York City where rooms are very small, rates are still high, and service can be hit or miss. But service wasn’t the issue at this property. While island time might have had a little bit to do with our late checkin, others weren’t having the same problem so it’s hard to suggest that the issue was widespread. I don’t expect the rooms to be different sizes or shapes, but that’s not really an avoidable or easily corrected issue.

The wall-mounted 32″ TV seemed really small and upgrading those are really inexpensive even for larger properties. There was no desk in the room either, and while I understand the property is in a resort destination, they had the space to offer one and again, it’s a cheap and easy thing to do.

But perhaps the most egregious is the below. Check out this little chair. Stained and tired, I wouldn’t want to site there anyway. But the pillow you see has been attached by elastic string to the couch so it isn’t removed from its place. I am 100% certain that this is an adaptation by the property and it’s pretty insulting to guard against the theft of a pillow from your customers.

Stained and chained
Stained and chained
Stained, dented, tired, tired, tired.
Stained, dented, tired, tired, tired.

Cleanliness Concerns

Given that the housekeeping staff had seven hours to clean the room, it should have been impeccable, but as you might have guessed, it wasn’t. In fact, we aren’t entirely sure it was cleaned at all aside from the bed being made. Here are some highlights:

Dead bug, at least it wasn't alive...?
Dead bug, at least it wasn’t alive…?
Care for a cup of coffee? Too bad, you can't have one.
Care for a cup of coffee? Too bad, you can’t have one.
So... is this just a case of a missing paper top or a dirty cup? Would you drink from it?
So… is this just a case of a missing paper top or a dirty cup? Would you drink from it?
It wasn't flushed and had something in it but it could have been worse I guess...
It wasn’t flushed and had something in it but it could have been worse I guess…
That's not my hair tie. Whose is it?
That’s not my hair tie. Whose is it?

Who Could It Be?

For the avoidance of doubt, googling what this property could be isn’t fun for anyone. It’s not even that the property looks like the brand, it’s that it’s so out of character for the brand you wouldn’t believe it. I’ve given you some hints, let’s review before the final question:

  • It’s in Key West, FL
  • It’s a brand from a major chain (Wyndam, Best Western, IHG, Hyatt, Hilton, SPG, Marriott, etc.)
  • Check out is at 11, checkin is at 3PM
  • I am so shocked to find the hotel like this that we checked out before our things arrived from the bell staff.

What’s your best guess? What brand was this property?

For those who do not want to guess… here is the answer. 

Previous Article A Hot Meal on Ryanair
Next Article A Tale of Two Waldorf-Astoria Hotels

About Author

Kyle Stewart

Kyle is a freelance travel writer with contributions to Time, the Washington Post, MSNBC, Yahoo!, Reuters, Huffington Post, MapHappy, Live And Lets Fly and many other media outlets. He is also co-founder of Scottandthomas.com, a travel agency that delivers "Travel Personalized." He focuses on using miles and points to provide a premium experience for his wife and daughter. Email: sherpa@thetripsherpa.com

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34 Comments

  1. Uk Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 7:50 am

    Crowne Plaza

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:07 am

      Sadly no, that property was sold out or we would have switched to it.

  2. Jimmy Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 7:54 am

    Something from Hilton Group?

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:06 am

      Yes.

  3. Alex Conway Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 8:42 am

    Given how inconsistent these brands are known to be, I bet it was either a Marriott, a Hilton, or a Hilton Doubletree, but the question here is, therefore, which one of these three could it be?

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:06 am

      It belongs to one of the three you have listed.

  4. BART PAWLIK Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 8:47 am

    Waldorf Astoria Kyle?

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 18, 2018 at 10:19 am

      Bart, you nailed it… but about two hours before the next post launched and I didn’t want to give it away. Casa Marina, a Waldorf-Astoria resort.

  5. Toby Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 9:10 am

    Hope not Sheraton.. I already made my booklyng

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:12 am

      You’re safe.

  6. YYZFlyer Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 9:16 am

    Is it the Doubleetree Hilton?

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:24 am

      It’s not.

  7. Mike Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 9:49 am

    I think it’s The Reach Waldorf

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:53 am

      Certainly not.

  8. Cj Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 9:49 am

    The reach by hilton

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 9:54 am

      Nope. But close.

  9. Gene Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 10:11 am

    Conrad

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 10:46 am

      Sorry Gene, I’m afraid not.

  10. Joe Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 10:14 am

    Hilton garden inn

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 10:46 am

      No sir Joe, but one would think that’s a reasonable assumption.

  11. Gene Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 10:17 am

    Casa Marina WA

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 10:47 am

      Yes Sir!

  12. Aztec Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 10:19 am

    Casa Marina?

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 17, 2018 at 10:47 am

      That is correct!

      • Wiwa Reply
        June 17, 2018 at 11:52 am

        Hi Kyle, when I saw the pictures, I thought Casa Marina. I have stayed there for a week 5 years ago, and it looked much better then. I way in Key West last August, luckily picked different brand. Thanks for sharing – Casa Marina was on my potential destination list – not anymore 😉

        • Kyle Stewart Reply
          June 17, 2018 at 12:04 pm

          Happy to help, I wish I could have avoided booking it myself in the first place.

  13. Rukmi Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    It’s the Casa Marina 100% have been to it once..and I am definitely never going back there again.

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 18, 2018 at 10:20 am

      Terrible. Just terrible.

  14. Mohammed Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 5:40 pm

    Staying at resorts in the US is waste of time and money

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 18, 2018 at 10:25 am

      I’m not sure I entirely disagree. We had a great experience at the Hilton Waikoloa in Hawaii and the Confidante (Hyatt) in Miami but this experience supports your claim. We have had mostly excellent experiences at resorts outside the US, that being said, on a three-day weekend in Florida, we didn’t really have the time to fly to our favorite Park Hyatt in Sanya, China. We could have opted for something closer but any flight would have eaten into our trip.

      And if we were to stay at a non-resort on the island, the Doubletree wanted 70,000 points per night (almost the same price as the Waldorf-Astoria properties at 80,000), Hyatt Centric wanted 25,000/nt, their second-highest tier, Marriott had a not-so-kid-friendly hotel at 90,000/nt. So from the chains, the options were limited. I can understand staying in a B&B using cash, but the rates were $250-500/nt and what’s the point of all of these points if I still pay for my hotel on vacation?

  15. wizbang_fl Reply
    June 17, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    Looks like a Courtyard to me.

    • Kyle Stewart Reply
      June 18, 2018 at 10:25 am

      *Correction – A dirty Courtyard.

  16. Dotti Reply
    June 18, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    I don’t think it’s a real WA Key West overall needs a lot of work…Tho many hotels were re-built within the last 3 years!, WA has a nice outside bar space for sunset watching with a fire pi!

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